Vodka Fusion Posted April 16, 2009 Posted April 16, 2009 Over the past couple of months my partner of 6 years has been getting more and more distant. About 2 weeks ago we had a arguement, nothing major and she said she wanted a break. I ended up moving in with family for a few days. She told me that she was not the person she used to be and she needed to find herself again. I still love her and want to be with her. Life has not been easy as I had to leave my job and go on disability due to a severe illness. I still work part time from home but don't get the income I used to and we cannot do as many things as we used to and there are certain jobs around the house I can no longer do. I am awaiting surgery to try and correct my health problems. I understand that this would be extremely hard on her but I am a big believer in love conquering anything and I am not sure she feels the same. A few days after the break I sent her a dozen red roses to her work with a message that said I will always love you and I am missing you. She seemed great on the phone that night and I asked if I could come home. She said yes but she still needed space and would probably sleep in the spare room. We ended up sleeping in the same bed, a few days later we had sex but it was like being with a blow up doll. The next day I confronted her and said you did not want to have sex did you and she said no she still needs her space but she feels bad declining me all the time. Over the last year we only have sex about once or if I am lucky twice a month. Now I am not with her just for sex, but to me it's how I express my love for her and I need it. But it even goes further then that. When we watch a movie, she sits on the other lounge, there is just no romance or affection in the relationship. I want that. A few years back I asked her to marry me and she said no she was not ready. We have discussed it and she says that I am the one she wants to spend her life with and she will marry me one day, but just not yet. I know she still feels the same way by comments she makes when friends or family suggest it. I am so confused, she is giving me nothing to suggest that she still feels the same way. Her words may say she does, but her actions don't. She is often grumpy towards me and any signs of affection is shunned. A few days ago it was our 6th anniversary and it was only a few days after I came back home. I asked her if she remembered the day before and she said yes, but she did not get me anything. She said I hope you did not get me anything. Well actually I did, a card and chocolates and I was planning on taking her out for dinner and a movie, we still ended up doing the dinner and movie but I did not give her the card. On the day she did not mention it and I spoke to her yesterday about it and she just said that with everything that had happened she was not in the mood to celebrate it. I know this has been a mammoth post but I do not know what to do. I really don't think she loves me anymore, or more to the point she is not in love with me. She may love me for what we once had, but the romance is gone. I feel like she is just staying with me due to my health issues or she is unsure how to end it. I have tried over and over again to understand what is going on, I just get the same answer "it's me, not you, I just need space" I have come on here to get some other peoples opinion. I have heard a few from friends and family, some think she is cheating, others think she is just fed up of the way our lives have been since I got ill. I don't know what to believe. All I know is it is like living with a flatmate at the moment and not a partner. I don't know how to get the spark back
michelangelo Posted April 16, 2009 Posted April 16, 2009 she doesn't love you anymore but has no courage. You are in a bubble, trying to retrieve that which is gone. Do you have the feeling that you are blowing up the balloon and as long as you continue that the balloon seems filled with air, but as soon as you stop, all the air rushes out of the balloon? If so, this means she is not investing anything in the love now lost. I am sorry she is leaving you to twist in the wind until you figure it out. Time to move on and concentrate on repairing your health.
Recommended Posts