fastnfurious Posted April 16, 2009 Posted April 16, 2009 Hey guys, I have been reading everyone's posts for a while now and have now decided to tell my story. Basically, me and my ex fiancee were a year away from getting married. Been together almost 3 years and we were both ready to settle down. You know, talk of kids, future career moves etc. We were both ready. Prior to us breaking up a few months ago, she told me that she didn't feel happy anymore and the "spark" was gone. I am a patient and deep person that always looks to discuss everything. The few times that she told me these things (bout 3 times) I said we should sit down and talk about it, only to walk away each time. This frustrated the hell out of me but we got over it and off and on, we would have good weeks and bad weeks; even having an engagement party. She said she thought she needed space so i started the initiative and stayed with family for a weekend. Once i got back she said that not really much changed. So then it was her turn. We were away from each other for at least 1-2 weeks; each day without her cut me deep. I missed her so much. Then one day, I get an email from an unknown girl saying that my ex had slept with her partner. My ex verified the story and when she admitted to me, she was devastated. She was genuinely in pain for being found out. She regrets every part of the cheating, is remorseful and hates herself for doing it to me. And claims it was only once and she cant think of any other reason why she did it other then she thought it was a product of her unhappiness We then talked things over and discovered that she also "does not what she wants to do with her life" and wants to "discover yourself". So, 4 points as to why this all happened to me. So we have now parted ways and I have done NC for almost 2 weeks now only to have her email me today and this email conversation lasted ALL morning. Something that hasnt happened in quite a while considering she was the one that suggested that we both need to have NC. I consider myself moved on now (with the help of a shrink) but still find myself thinking and hoping that we get back together again. Deep down, I still want this to happen because I feel she is the one for me otherwise I wouldnt have asked her to marry me. Even her friends and family thinks she is confused. And she clearly is. What are your thoughts?
patrik Posted April 16, 2009 Posted April 16, 2009 Hey fast&furious, Sorry to hear about your story and glad you are doing much better. I had a close friend who went through the exact same thing only to find out a couple of months before the wedding he found out she was cheating on him. I was one of the grooms men so of course he poored his heart out to me and it was pretty ugly and i guneinely felt bad for him and wouldn't wish it upon anybody. My best advice, is to let go of her and move on with your life. To try and continiue to work on things will only cause further problems and hurt. I'm not sure what the shrink has told you but i think as humans we are able to forgive our partners but forgetting is the toguh part and it will always be in the back of your minds. You can almost take it has a blessing that you found this out before you two were married rather than afterwards. anyways goodluck with everything.
Author fastnfurious Posted April 17, 2009 Author Posted April 17, 2009 That's very true mate but why do I keep thinking about her and the whole situation constantly??
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