mr.dream merchant Posted April 16, 2009 Posted April 16, 2009 When and why do YOU casually flirt when you're in a committed/exclusive relationship? Me personally, I don't flirt. I view flirting as a need for attention from the opposite sex and a cheap way to get away with interacting with people you're sexually attracted to, and would normally mess around with, if you were single. That desire isn't there or isn't strong enough for me to act on when I'm taken. What about you?
Kamille Posted April 16, 2009 Posted April 16, 2009 I'm single and I like flirting. I usually do it when I feel it is being reciprocated. Is it a need for attention? Sure - but the way I see it, flirting is usually win-win: I get attention by giving attention. Plus, flirting is a great way to get to know someone.
Kamille Posted April 16, 2009 Posted April 16, 2009 Flirting is a great way to break the ice with people' date=' and make them feel more comfortable. I do it with the hot, female interns, because they seem so nervous in the presence of a great American hero.[/quote'] Well hi there Barack! So aw, you come here often?
Trialbyfire Posted April 16, 2009 Posted April 16, 2009 When in a committed relationship, I flirt lightly with men who I like as people. This doesn't mean I want to do them or they me. Sometimes I flirt with women too, even though I'm not bi-sexual or swing that way.
Isolde Posted April 16, 2009 Posted April 16, 2009 Flirting is a spectrum ranging from being very friendly alllll the way to extreme sexual innuendo. It's like "making out," very unspecific term.
Author mr.dream merchant Posted April 16, 2009 Author Posted April 16, 2009 Flirting is a spectrum ranging from being very friendly alllll the way to extreme sexual innuendo. It's like "making out," very unspecific term. This is true. My GF says flirting is cheating. But then she'll turn around and say casual flirting isn't cheating, I guess the spectrum is too large to really define flirting as a certain number of actions.
Sibyl Vane Posted April 16, 2009 Posted April 16, 2009 I do it to be friendly, playful, to entertain myself or because I like someone. It's up to the person to figure out which one it is.
Lucky_One Posted April 16, 2009 Posted April 16, 2009 I also am a big flirter with elderly men. They love it, it makes them feel good, and it makes me feel good when they flirt back. I see a big difference in "coming on" to someone and in light banter where I am appreciative of someone's time, attractiveness and attention and where there is no intention of sexual or romantic activity.
burning 4 revenge Posted April 16, 2009 Posted April 16, 2009 I do it to be friendly, playful, to entertain myself or because I like someone. It's up to the person to figure out which one it is. you do it because youre making fun fo my drinking...just like mommy..
Ruby Slippers Posted April 16, 2009 Posted April 16, 2009 When in a relationship, I do not flirt at all. I also don't check out other men at all. I realize I am unusual in this respect, but that's fine with me. I take commitment very seriously and would never want to give any signals to suggest I was interested in anyone but my chosen love.
Author mr.dream merchant Posted April 16, 2009 Author Posted April 16, 2009 When in a relationship, I do not flirt at all. I also don't check out other men at all. I realize I am unusual in this respect, but that's fine with me. I take commitment very seriously and would never want to give any signals to suggest I was interested in anyone but my chosen love. High five?! =)
Author mr.dream merchant Posted April 16, 2009 Author Posted April 16, 2009 The **** are you two talking about? How is it relevant to the original question of the thread? You didn't do anything but kill the thread with random bs.
serial muse Posted April 16, 2009 Posted April 16, 2009 I get the sense some posts have been deleted...feel like I'm missing something here. Anyway. I'm with Ruby; I don't flirt when I'm in a relationship either. It makes me really uncomfortable and I wouldn't get any enjoyment out of it. Feels untrue to myself, or something metaphysical like that. My BF has actually commented on this (I think he's pretty happy about that). And yeah, it's great for him - but a little less than ideal for me, since he does indulge himself in some mild flirting from time to time; I know he just kind of likes the ego boost of external validation and I don't mistrust him or think he'd do anything more. But I admit, I just don't get it. It's been a source of occasional tension between us. I'd rather he spent that energy on flirting with me, I guess. Feels a bit unequal. But it's tough, because nobody's really doing anything wrong, just a different way of looking at it.
normal Posted April 16, 2009 Posted April 16, 2009 i flirt when i feel like it. i don't mind attention. in fact i like attention and i'm not afraid to say so. my boyfriend flirts with girls. i don't mind him flirting. he's flirted right in front of me and vice versa. i'm also not concerned about him cheating. and if he does...it's not like i need him. i'm with him because i WANT to be. he's with me because he wants to be. the girls he flirts with aren't girls he wants to sleep with. they're just girls he flirts with...that's all. he flirts with me more than he flirts with other girls. he ONLY sleeps with me. so why get mad? life is too short to be jealous. i flirt with guys because i feel like it. i don't flirt because i want to cheat. i flirt because it's harmless flirting. i don't ever want to cheat on him, in fact i want to spend my life with him. i think the reason we have such a loving relationship is that we are so trusting of each other. and we don't sweat the small things. i wouldn't change anything about our relationship or his personality. i knew he was flirty when i met him. he knew i was a flirt when we met. no sense in trying to change each other.
Author mr.dream merchant Posted April 16, 2009 Author Posted April 16, 2009 I get the sense some posts have been deleted...feel like I'm missing something here. Anyway. I'm with Ruby; I don't flirt when I'm in a relationship either. It makes me really uncomfortable and I wouldn't get any enjoyment out of it. Feels untrue to myself, or something metaphysical like that. My BF has actually commented on this (I think he's pretty happy about that). And yeah, it's great for him - but a little less than ideal for me, since he does indulge himself in some mild flirting from time to time; I know he just kind of likes the ego boost of external validation and I don't mistrust him or think he'd do anything more. But I admit, I just don't get it. It's been a source of occasional tension between us. I'd rather he spent that energy on flirting with me, I guess. Feels a bit unequal. But it's tough, because nobody's really doing anything wrong, just a different way of looking at it. Yeah some posts were deleted, they weren't really relevant to the thread, derailed it and killed it for a little bit. I guess a moderator took care of it. I'm with you and Ruby, and so is my GF. Flirting to me is just giving out signals of mild attraction to people. Why even go through with all of that if you're happily taken?
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