I don't know

[lulubell]

Hello,

 

I have been reading some of the post and I see how everyone gives such good advice and I am hoping that someone can give me some advice.

 

I have been with my on and off again boyfriend for a little over 4 years we were engaged for about a year and we broke up for about a month and then got back together. We both came into the relationship not wanting or expecting anything so when we fell in love it was kind of out of the blue. We both have alot of baggage that is probablly way to much to get into. At this point I am so confused becasue we had a small fight and I got up and left because I was angry and it has been 3 weeks and we are not talking and I don't know if I should just let it go at this point or if I should try again.

 

I can let you know that he does have addiction problems and I do not and I come from a family that has addiciton problems and I am so the girl that has to fix everything and I feel like I failed at this. I really miss him and I know that we do love each other I just don't know if it is really ever going to work. I have friends that say call him and let him know how you feel and then I have friends that say let it go so I think that I need an opion from someone that is not involved.

 

If you need more info to help please let me know and I will give you more details.

[SoulSearch_CO]

It's hard to give any advice based on that post. BUT - I will say that I think a relationship that is "on again, off again" does not have long-term viability.

 

Also - you can't fix somebody's addiction for them. No matter how much you love them, no matter how much you want it to change. They have to want it for themselves.

 

So how about you give more details? Like what the fight was about. And then for the on-again-off-again, who usually dumps whom and who usually breaks the silence to get back together again? Have either of you dated anybody else in those 4 years during any of the breaks? Have either of you been in counseling at all? Together or apart?