I realise now who I want - trouble is he doesnt know if he wants me! help?

[surething]

I dont know where to start! I was in a relationship of 1 and a half years, until just recently

I have no real excuse for breaking the relatioship off other that I was not in control of my life. I had been under a lot of emotional stress I am a single mum of 3 had no job, no self esteem and no confidence. I have been married twice and both relationships ended because of their drinking and violence. I now seem to have a invisible barrier around me and i didnt want to let any one in,

I met and fell in love with a wonderful guy, but due to my state of mind of late (6 months or so) looking back i have been so unloving, uncaring ungrateful selfish and because of my pig headdedness - I lost him!

I used to pick fights, I used to continually make him leave the house - regretting it afterwards, ringing him up and he'd come back. NOT THIS TIME!!

I managed to get a job, regain some confidence and get my life back in oder. I done a lot of thinking and I realise now just who I want.

Trouble is - he dont know if he wants me. I destroyed his dignity, his pride and because he has bad mouthed me to his mates, he feels that he will be letting them down too, if he had me back.

It has took me 2 weeks to get him to ansa my texts or calls - even now he sometimes ignores me!

I know that Ive got to give him space, but that doesnt help me right now.

Im so scared of losing him for good. Any tips?

[mewbomb]

Yes,

 

Its things like this that really urk me. You probably should have thought of all this in the beginning. Now that he is gone, and you have some control of yourself (?), you want him back???

 

I think you should let him go and give the space that he needs, im in the exact opposite situation and i will tell you, its not fun!!!

 

Sorry that im not that sympathetic, but some people really need to think about consequences before they take swift action!?!? Know what i mean?

 

ANyways...give hime time and space and let him decide, don't push it.. or it will never happen..

 

Good luck!

[sarah]

was he faithful while he was with you?

[VASH THE STAMPEDE]

You should give him some space,more than likely he fell out of love with you.

If he wants you back he'll come back.only time will tell.

[surething]

Sarah

 

Yes he was faithful to me - and I to him.

[surething]

Vash

 

Thats the confusing part.

 

He says he still loves me and that he misses me.

But.........is it enough?

 

He is trying to be strong enough to see if he can get by without me. Trouble is, he has now got a taste of the 'single' life and im worried that he may prefer it - or worse....find another woman.

[surething]

Newbomb

 

I thank you for your honest opinions - i mean that!

 

Its true what they say: you never know how much you miss something till its gone.

 

The hardest part is gonna be getting him back.

 

Still I know that pushing him will make him run in the opposite direction. So I will give him his space (but not too much)

[mewbomb]

you have to break all contact...for real, and i learned that the hard way!

 

but, if you don't want to, then you have to be prepared for him to run like the wind...cause that might just happen!!!

 

ya never can tell....

 

let me know what the story is....id love to know

[OucHmyHearT]

my gf of 3 years broke up with me....everything seemed to be going so perfect...but she broke it off...she said she needed time to herself...that she wasn't all together with herself....when we were together we didn't fight or anything...everything was great...well in my eyes i guess...obviously it wasn't perfect in hers since she broke it off.

 

i'm 21 and she's 20. We're young still i know...but i really love this girl...we've been broken up for 3 months and man...for those past months...nothing but drama...plenty of nights of lost sleep for me...she seems to be doing better...but i dunno..i havent been that great...i've been doing the crazy ex bf thing..not leaving her alone...etc...but then again...she hasnt been the greatest either...

 

well...to get to the point....she destroyed my dignity, my pride and I have bad mouthed her to his friends...

 

I miss her though...like crazy...i love her...and still care about her....but i would be so scared to get back with her...because of all the hurt and drama she put me through...

 

My friend already feels like i care about this girl more than i care about my friends....i dont know...that kinda sux that she said that...but i don't want to have to choose between the one i love and a friend....but my friends are really mad at her...i dunno if i'm even making any sense of this post...but i guess i read yours...and well...if my ex ever came around like you did....i dont know what i would do...i mean...i always tried my best to be good to her..and she even says that i was a great bf..and its not because of me..its because of her..blah blha...and our relationship was great too....

 

its so hard because she broke it up for her own personal self growth...i mean...there really was nothing wrong with the relationship...and its hard to explain to people that we had a good relationship...because no one believes me....they ask well why did you break up...obviously it wasnt good....but ugh...im confused now.....sorry...i still have a lot of feelings bottled up..and i just got on the forums today...sorry if im not making any sense...i dont think i've helped at all...

 

so lets see....what exactly have you said to him so far? Just that you want him back? Have you tried explaining everything that you told us in your first post? that you realize how you were treating him before...and that you've changed? I think...let him know exactly what was going on in your head when you guys were going out before....when you broke up...and then now....maybe tell him that...then tell him you really miss him..and would give him time to think about it...and hopefully have him get back to you later? like everyone else said...dont pressure him and be annoying...maybe just one letter stating all your feelings...and then tell him you'll wait for his response or something...that seems respectful enough and hopefully he'll be respectful and tell you exactly how he's feeling.

 

I know if i ever got back with my ex...i really would want to...but i think i would lose a LOT of respect from my friends...they all think i'd get hurt again and that i'd be a fool to get back into it...some of people i know would lose so much respect for me they wouldnt even talk to me anymore...but then again...my real true friends would be disappointed but would always be my friend....they wouldnt be very fond of HER though...so forget double dating or anything of that sort with my friends....

 

i miss her...i wish she would turn around like you did though...=)