patrik Posted April 15, 2009 Posted April 15, 2009 I've been in nc from my ex for awhile now. However, this weekend there is an event held every year that both her an I attend. At first I made up my mind ahead of time that I wasn't going to attend in fear of breaking nc and opening up old wounds. She has tried to contact me several times and I have held strong and not replied. My question is should I attend this event? I hate for her to think I didn't go because of here since I've been to this event every year for however long I can remember. If I do attend how do I act do I speak to her? I will see old friends that I havnt seen for awhile because we all have mutual friends and I lost contact with them ever since the break up. I'm afraid to be put in an akward position. A little back ground. -dated for 3years split up in September -did the whole begging pleading - things were looking good in jnauary only to find out the whole stringing along crap and I'm confused/stressed crap she feed which everyone is familiar with I'm sure. - finally went nc for about 3 months in that time she kept contacting me but I didn't break it as I learned from the last time. -last I heard she is starting to see someone from out of town. Any suggestions or comments would be helpful regarding attending the event. -finally b
openbook08 Posted April 15, 2009 Posted April 15, 2009 hey patrik, first off well done for staying so strong. good for you. i was also in a predicament recently where it was gonna be the first time i should be attending somethin that we'd both be at(otherwise im avoiding him at all costs!!!). hed also have his new girlf with him. this is how i handled it....i asked myself what is best for me and how would i feel seeing him there wrapped up in the new girl when only a short while ago it was me? i decided it would be best NOT to go so i didnt. havent thought about it at all since. therefore my advice is DO WHATS BEST FOR YOU.
Author patrik Posted April 15, 2009 Author Posted April 15, 2009 Hey openbook, thanks for your input. We pretty much have the same mentality (avoid at all cost). If this was a couple a months ago I would of made any excuse or oppertunity to see her. But now I'm at the point where I just wanna heal and worry about myself. At the same time I don't want her to control my decisions such as attending this event. Still in limbo..... Hopefully have a clear decision @ the end of the week.
openbook08 Posted April 15, 2009 Posted April 15, 2009 youre welcome. i went thru the whole break up then stringin along...prob still would be except a good friend found out hed had a girlf for a few weeks while i was gettin my hopes up again. . . ive been nc since then, 5months. but i know in my heart of hearts im not ready to be face to face with him and certainly not with her. thats just my progress. and ya avoid avoid avoid. ha ha. its been surprisingly easy and im havin a ball doin it!!
Theorem Posted April 16, 2009 Posted April 16, 2009 dont go, depending on how strong you are. You would most likely just have a bad time once her presence there is known. you can continue to heal if you do something else. So instead of just not going staying home etc, do something fun that day so you dont get a chance to change your mind or regret missing it
Meaplus3 Posted April 16, 2009 Posted April 16, 2009 If it's an event that you really enjoy, then I'd go and simply ignore her as much as possible. Why let her ruin your fun? Mea:)
Author patrik Posted April 16, 2009 Author Posted April 16, 2009 thanks everyone for your input. I think I'm gonna go i'm not letting her ruin my fun. and its perfect time for me to catch up with old friends i guess her friends to and i'm gonna fake it tell make it that I'm doin perfectly fine (i'm half way there). I think she will get really upset if I chat it up with all our friends including her sisters and ignore her since i've been doin that for the last 3 months.
Author patrik Posted April 16, 2009 Author Posted April 16, 2009 anybody have any good technique or suggestiosn on how i should handle things with her, our friends, sisiters etc... something that will boil her kettle. You can say this is a coming out party for me(not gay way) As I havnt spoken or seent any of our mutual friends in a long time so wont be short of any conversations. there will be food, drinking and dancing.....
boldjack Posted April 17, 2009 Posted April 17, 2009 If I were you, I would be polite to her, but that's all. Don't talk to her alone, excuse yourself and say that there is someone else you need to talk to. If you have good relations with her sisters, then by all means talk to them. Above all relax and have fun.
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