fofiffs Posted April 15, 2009 Posted April 15, 2009 Well tonight I went out with a couple friends at a bar ( Ale house ) and had a couple beer. In the beginning I was feeling down and depressed. So I went out and had a cigarette. When I came back in there was this beautiful woman standing right by my chair getting a drink. (Tall, blonde, thin, sexy) I mean damn she was hot. I really didn't think she would talk to me but I was like what the heck its worth a try. I've already gone through so much humiliation and lost my pride when my ex broke up with me. So I thought what else could be so bad. I start talking to her and what do you know it, she starts talking back to me. The whole night we talked and it just seemed like we hit it off pretty good. We talked about our jobs, life, etc. Basically everything. So at the end of the night I walk her to her car and I asked her if we could hang out again. She says yes, so she gives me her number and I give her mine. So anyways we are suppose to meet up in a club tomorrow night with her friends and my friends. But anyways it was a really great night. The whole time I was talking to her, my ex never even came up into my head. I was enjoying the single life again but at the same time, I'm really feeling this girl and it seems like she was feeling me. My other friends tried to talk to her but she always ended up talking to me. But anyways this girl is so amazing. She's hot, a zoologist, 29, she got an awesome personality, etc. I hope that everything works out. I really like her a lot and hope that maybe it could be something more. I really want to take this slow if it does go anywhere and hopefully get to know her more. So overall, it was a really good night that I thought was just gonna be like every other night. Anyways just wish me luck. Any advice on how I should take this or go about it and any comment would be greatly appreciated. I really didn't want to text or call her yet but I just sent one text to her asking her if she got home alright and that it was a fun night. I just want to leave it at that for now and see how she goes about it.
Cora Posted April 15, 2009 Posted April 15, 2009 That's great! I'm happy for you and glad that you found someone you are interested in and who appears to be interested in you. Just be yourself and I wish you the best of luck!!
Island Girl Posted April 15, 2009 Posted April 15, 2009 Quit texting. Just don't do it. You already had plans for the next night. Just leave it at that. Enjoy your time when you are with her and then call and ask her out on a date or ask her when you are together.
boldjack Posted April 15, 2009 Posted April 15, 2009 Whoa there, Hotrod:) I know that you're excited and on cloud nine, but remember to take it sssssslllllllooooooowwwwwww. No texting or calls or e-mails until she is comfortable with it. Be confident, and don't put all your romantic eggs in her basket. There are other women out there who are just as hot as she is, take your time and explore, rebound relationships don't last long, so make sure that you look at as many different options as you can.
Author fofiffs Posted April 15, 2009 Author Posted April 15, 2009 Quit texting. Just don't do it. You already had plans for the next night. Just leave it at that. Enjoy your time when you are with her and then call and ask her out on a date or ask her when you are together. I just texted her once askingher if she got home alright and I left it at that. IT actually felt good getting back out there. It really too my mind off my ex and her cruel ways. Since I've been out of the game for almost 2 years any advice from the ladies would be good on how I should go about this??
Island Girl Posted April 15, 2009 Posted April 15, 2009 Okay again -- quit texting You have plans to meet up with her again -- relax and enjoy the time. If you feel comfortable at the end of the evening ask her out to dinner and pick a night. Don't say "sometime" say Friday night or Saturday night -- something definite. Listen if she says she has something to do already. If this is the case -- she may really be busy -- so suggest another night or "what night are you free". If she still gives excuses take it for what it is and plan on moving on. She has your number as well and she can always get in touch with you if she wants to see you. Just try not to get ahead of yourself. And DO NOT text. It is too easy to send a text out into the middle of no where and then you spend time thinking about how it was received - if she is going to respond or not -- etc. So just do not go there. Face to face communication is best because you can read body language along with tone of voice, words used, etc. Phone is the only other means of communication right now. Because at least you know if she answers - the tone of voice, etc. Then there is more to "read" about how she is thinking about you by her responses. Take it slow -- so you do not appear desperate and overwhelming.
Peter_pan Posted April 15, 2009 Posted April 15, 2009 nice one mate, i think women can sense the "i dont give a f*** attitude" like when i lost my ex, i could talk to any hot girl with ease because i didnt care about the out come, come to think of it, ive gone back to my old ways and am quite shy again. i really need to break this.
Phateless Posted April 15, 2009 Posted April 15, 2009 NEVER underestimate the power of holding back a little. If you can leave her wondering what's going to happen next, it builds the anticipating and makes her want you more. If you text, be playful. "You really are a dork, and I had a lot of fun hanging out with you. What's something I would never have figured out but that you want me to know?"
Island Girl Posted April 15, 2009 Posted April 15, 2009 "You really are a dork, and I had a lot of fun hanging out with you. What's something I would never have figured out but that you want me to know?" If I got this as a text message it would wreak of trying to hard to appear cute and nonchalant.
Phateless Posted April 15, 2009 Posted April 15, 2009 If I got this as a text message it would wreak of trying to hard to appear cute and nonchalant. As long as it doesn't come across as needy and clingy. Maybe I really am cute and nonchalant, did you ever think of that? Seriously tho, what would you have texted if you were him? Keep in mind that we don't want to come on too strong.
Author fofiffs Posted April 15, 2009 Author Posted April 15, 2009 I'm suppose to meet up with her later tonight so i'll see how it goes from there. But I havent sent her no text or called at all except for one text I sent when I got home asking her if she got home alright. We'll see where it goes tonight, I'm 24 and she's 29 so not much of an age difference really.
Phateless Posted April 15, 2009 Posted April 15, 2009 I'm suppose to meet up with her later tonight so i'll see how it goes from there. But I havent sent her no text or called at all except for one text I sent when I got home asking her if she got home alright. We'll see where it goes tonight, I'm 24 and she's 29 so not much of an age difference really. Just have fun and don't try too hard.
Island Girl Posted April 15, 2009 Posted April 15, 2009 As long as it doesn't come across as needy and clingy. Maybe I really am cute and nonchalant, did you ever think of that? Seriously tho, what would you have texted if you were him? Keep in mind that we don't want to come on too strong. Yeah I know. Another reason why I wouldn't have texted AT ALL. I would know I am already going to see the guy the next night - plans have already been made. And I would sit tight until then and have a good time when I got to that moment.
Author fofiffs Posted April 15, 2009 Author Posted April 15, 2009 Reason being why I texted her that was because we did have a cuple drinks and I just wanted to make sure she got home alright. And I left it at that. Just a little hint to her that I am interested nothing big or anything.
Island Girl Posted April 15, 2009 Posted April 15, 2009 Reason being why I texted her that was because we did have a cuple drinks and I just wanted to make sure she got home alright. And I left it at that. Just a little hint to her that I am interested nothing big or anything. I know. And don't over analyze at this point. What is done is done. Just relax and you'll see her tonight.
Phateless Posted April 15, 2009 Posted April 15, 2009 Yeah I know. Another reason why I wouldn't have texted AT ALL. I would know I am already going to see the guy the next night - plans have already been made. And I would sit tight until then and have a good time when I got to that moment. Agreed, that's why I said that if you text at all be playful. I think we're on the same page. He'll be fine.
Author fofiffs Posted April 16, 2009 Author Posted April 16, 2009 *UPDATE* so anyways an update to a f**ked up night. I went with three of my friends to this club we were suppose to meet at. I walk up to the table where she was at and we started having a great conversation and all. So after like 10 minutes of talking this guy walks up to her and I was like what the hell. Come to to figure that it was actually her BF or something. I didn't ask cuz it was just like the weirdest moment. I was speechless and shocked. I tried to play it off by talking to the guy and stuff. So I tell the both of them I'll be right back to get another beer and stayed gone after that. But overall it was a pretty good night. I was just somewhat dissapointed that she didn't let me know she had a BF. Thats the first thing I should have asked her from the night before. But oh well, back to the drawing bored.
Island Girl Posted April 16, 2009 Posted April 16, 2009 Okay lesson learned. But don't discount it all. You had great conversation, etc. So that in itself is an accomplishment. It just shows you it is possible and you can. Now you just have to find a girl that you are attracted to that is unattached and see where it goes. They are out there. There are a lot of them too.
Author fofiffs Posted April 16, 2009 Author Posted April 16, 2009 Okay lesson learned. But don't discount it all. You had great conversation, etc. So that in itself is an accomplishment. It just shows you it is possible and you can. Now you just have to find a girl that you are attracted to that is unattached and see where it goes. They are out there. There are a lot of them too. Thanks for the encouragement Island Girl..Your right it is an accomplishment just having that conversation with her. Next time though i'll have to kinda read more into the conversation to somewhat see what their intentions really are.
2sunny Posted April 16, 2009 Posted April 16, 2009 yes it's a sign.. a sign that says that jerks come around looking all amazingly great but guess what? still a jerk! i feel sorry for her boyfriend. i wonder if he realizes that she may be pretty and a social gal - but she's still a jerk.
Island Girl Posted April 16, 2009 Posted April 16, 2009 Thanks for the encouragement Island Girl..Your right it is an accomplishment just having that conversation with her. Next time though i'll have to kinda read more into the conversation to somewhat see what their intentions really are. You shouldn't have to read into anything if you just ask that particular question. As for the encouragement, it is well deserved. I hope you take the time to enjoy the journey and not put so much pressure on yourself. Meeting people and dating CAN be fun.
Author fofiffs Posted April 16, 2009 Author Posted April 16, 2009 Oh and get this, While I was out in the club last night after talking to that girl, I get a phone call from my ex. I was out and about having a good ol' time so i didn't pay attention to the number and picked up. So she starts talking to me about how she still wants to be friends and that the new guy she's only been with for about 3 weeks treats her really good and stuff. I'm like what the hell are you telling me this for. It pissed me off so I hung up on her and just comletely tell her to F**K off. So I text her back telling her what a complete tool she is. I know I was wrong for doing that but I was out trrying to have a fun night and she calls me to tell me that. So I just went on my merry way and just enjoyed the night.
Phateless Posted April 16, 2009 Posted April 16, 2009 Nice. You did exactly the right thing in both cases. Good job.
Author fofiffs Posted April 16, 2009 Author Posted April 16, 2009 Nice. You did exactly the right thing in both cases. Good job. It hurts telling her that but I just can't stand her trying to be my friend and telling me those things. She told me how amazing her new BF is and that we'll never be together again. Who in their right mind would say something like that. And the thing that really made me mad was that she tried to act all cool about everything after I told her to F**K off. Seriously I despise my ex. I just hope and pray one day, this new guy she's with screws her over so bad and makes her feel the pain she put me through.
Author fofiffs Posted April 16, 2009 Author Posted April 16, 2009 She's just the type that needs all the attention and always need someone right by her side. She's afraid to be alone all the time.
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