Curious-One Posted April 15, 2009 Posted April 15, 2009 Ok i think i might have a weird issue that i am not even sure about... long read but i need your advice. I am 22 single and currently happy. I am currently working on my goals and my confidence is pretty high. However when it comes to girls i havent been able to get motivated enough to start dating. Its not that i am not getting numbers or anything. This is where the true problem is.... i meet a girl at work or through friends. I get to know her and i start liking her. I even start imagining where i would take her out and what we would do etc. SO i finally get the courage or start caring enough to ask for her number and she gives it to me. (I have never had a girl not give me her number after i asked). This is where the problem starts.... after i get the number its like i stop caring. I dont know what it is but i keep coming up with excuses not to call or text. Ill do it tomorrow, this week is not good etc etc. Now i do hate talking on the phone even with my friends but it doesnt stop me from calling them. After 2-3 months girls get pissed and stop talking to me. I guess they feel rejected where they gave me their number to someone and he didnt call them. Last month i had 3 different girls delete me from facebook so i pretty much know my chances are lost with them. They are pissed and i feel like an ass for hurting their feelings. I got the same girls number 2 times from work and didnt bother calling her or texting her. At one point she completly stopped talking to me for the whole week at work until i made few jokes to her and she forgot about it. I am also not motivated to have a gf. My causin introduced me to this pretty hot cool down to earth girl. When he asked me if i had a gf i said no and proceded to say how i didnt like girls that do this or that. The girl said "i am single and i am not like that, i am a good girl blah blah blah". She was pretty much qualifying her self to me, i knew it and i didnt go after her or aask for her number. Later i felt bad because i probobly made her feel bad because she put her self out there and i didnt go for it. She also added me to facebook and its been like 6 months and i never msgd her or said anything to her. I dont know, the best thing i can come up with is that i get enough satisfaction just knowing that girl likes me where i dont even feel the need to move things any further. Did any of you do something like this or have any advice. Lately i even stopped hitting on girls and trying to go for their numbers because i dont want to hurt them.
colosseum Posted April 15, 2009 Posted April 15, 2009 Because I've done exactly that my first couple years in college; getting #s left and right but not doing anything about it. I, too, felt really great about just getting the #s and knowing that women liked me. But that was it. It all stopped there. I didn't have any relationships, or women at all in my life for those two years. The behavior is fun while it lasts, but it doesn't last long. And seeing that you like I was back then am a young man, I suspect there would be more that you would be wanting fairly soon than just #s (unless you're hooking up every weekend which you left unmentioned). I'd say it's a short-term phase you might be going through, especially if you're in a kind of transition stage (ex. you just recently moved to your area or such). Advice? What I did since then has just been to force myself to call and try to sustain some continuity with the women. It's fun for me, it's fun for them (usually-not all attempts are successful) and I get to meet new people. So force yourself to try to get to know these people genuinely; it'll be worthwhile I think.
runner Posted April 15, 2009 Posted April 15, 2009 just like you said: you're 22, single and happy. it doesn't sound like you really care to be in a relationship which is probably why you're not putting in the effort to pursue - mixed in with a bit of 'i'm just not that into you' with regards to some of these girls. i wouldn't call it a problem necessarily, it's just a part of where you are in life right now. i've been there so i know what you're talking about. ... now the funny part is, one of these days you will meet someone who gives you cold sweats and makes you forget your own name. good luck when that happens
Author Curious-One Posted April 21, 2009 Author Posted April 21, 2009 Because I've done exactly that my first couple years in college; getting #s left and right but not doing anything about it. I, too, felt really great about just getting the #s and knowing that women liked me. But that was it. It all stopped there. I didn't have any relationships, or women at all in my life for those two years. The behavior is fun while it lasts, but it doesn't last long. And seeing that you like I was back then am a young man, I suspect there would be more that you would be wanting fairly soon than just #s (unless you're hooking up every weekend which you left unmentioned). I'd say it's a short-term phase you might be going through, especially if you're in a kind of transition stage (ex. you just recently moved to your area or such). Advice? What I did since then has just been to force myself to call and try to sustain some continuity with the women. It's fun for me, it's fun for them (usually-not all attempts are successful) and I get to meet new people. So force yourself to try to get to know these people genuinely; it'll be worthwhile I think. Thank god i am not the only one that actually experienced this.
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