takingcakesman Posted April 15, 2009 Posted April 15, 2009 Her name is Roxanne, a legal aide at my firm. At first I didn't find her attractive at all. She has an excellent rack, but objectively that's all she had going on from my point of view. She was helping me on some projects and we started to get to know each other pretty well. It turns out we have the same interest in baseball and literature. She laughs, I smile, we're cute together, and I get attached. Soon we go out on a few dates and make some great love. One night we're working late in different areas of the building, and I decide to walk over to her wing for some workplace nookie. There she is on her chair, having sex with her boss. I'm crushed. "OH MY GOD!" She screams. I don't even remember what happened next, but I left. She called me later that night and apologized and tried to convince me to not report them. What do I do? 1. Report them (I'm angry at the both of them and they deserve a firing) 2. Don't report them (and take advantage of the blackmail) 3. Win back the girl (do I even want to?) 4. Some unknown option (help me out!)
Mahatma Posted April 15, 2009 Posted April 15, 2009 I would report them. Any boss having sex with his workers knows what he's doing.
Author takingcakesman Posted April 15, 2009 Author Posted April 15, 2009 A part of me is still really into this girl, though. I don't want to see her leave. Maybe I could say I saw him with a different girl... just kidding.
birdmadgirl Posted April 15, 2009 Posted April 15, 2009 I've been in a similar situation before. I chose option three. Six months later, he was at it with a different colleague. Feeling embarrassed by having been played for a fool and not wanting to appear embittered by the experience, I cut my losses and simply refused to acknowledge the individual going forward. In retrospect, going for option one right out of the gate would've felt so much better, but I worked for an advertising agency and we had no real policy against that sort of thing. It might have even been encouraged, but I digress. If you're sure you won't face retaliation of any sort, I'd say go for the jugular. At the very least, ignore her. Option three should be completely off the table. I'd be willing to bet it'll happen again.
Author takingcakesman Posted April 15, 2009 Author Posted April 15, 2009 Option three should be completely off the table. I'd be willing to bet it'll happen again. You're probably right. It's so hard to ignore someone you care about so deeply.
Yamaha Posted April 15, 2009 Posted April 15, 2009 I would report them both. Why feel any sympathy for either one!
Athena Posted April 15, 2009 Posted April 15, 2009 Umm, were you not going over to her wing to have some sex with her? That could have been you bust by someone else, like her boss, if the timing had been different... so now why the sour grapes? Just move on....drop her... she cheated on you, so move on. And don't report them for what you had full intentions of doing yourself.
birdmadgirl Posted April 15, 2009 Posted April 15, 2009 It's so hard to ignore someone you care about so deeply. Without a doubt. It's a terrible situation and I'm sorry you're in it. It made my professional life hell for about two years.
Cherished Posted April 15, 2009 Posted April 15, 2009 I'm with Athena. In this economy, it might be very difficult for her to find another job. Don't ruin her career and livlihood over this. Seems like she works far enough away in the building to avoid her.
Author takingcakesman Posted April 15, 2009 Author Posted April 15, 2009 Seems like she works far enough away in the building to avoid her. Yes, I don't think we'll be working on any projects together anytime soon. I think I'll get a kick out of the two of them tip-toeing around me from now on.
single ape Posted April 15, 2009 Posted April 15, 2009 how about option 5, grow the eff up. Where you not also banging her at work? Yes you were.. so now that someone else is playing your ball you're going to toss it in the river? Your problem is you've fallen for the girl who is bonin' the entire office. If you cant get over the fact maybe you should get a new job.. but blackmailing or telling on them? what are you in 6th grade dude?
Chicago_Guy Posted April 15, 2009 Posted April 15, 2009 If you're going to make up a story, couldn't you at least attempt to make it seem plausible? If you truly were a lawyer, then you would necessarily have to be working at a very large law firm for this story to be true. I can tell you that there is simply no way that you would seriously consider reporting this activity if it had happened. If your boss is a big rainmaker and this activity was consensual, reporting the activity would definitely not be in your best interest, especially in the current legal market.
Curious-One Posted April 15, 2009 Posted April 15, 2009 Umm, were you not going over to her wing to have some sex with her? That could have been you bust by someone else, like her boss, if the timing had been different... so now why the sour grapes? Just move on....drop her... she cheated on you, so move on. And don't report them for what you had full intentions of doing yourself. Thats exactly what i was thinking. Here you are one 5 mins before wanting to do something sexual w this girl than next minute you see some other guy doing it and now you want to get this guy fired for it. The girl is a slut, move on unless you like your chick to be banged by other guys.
SoulSearch_CO Posted April 15, 2009 Posted April 15, 2009 Although I'm calling BS on the validity of the story, I would say option 2. It's none of your business. So she's a skank. What's the big deal? Move on - at least you found out sooner rather than later. Is this the same chick that you resent as soon as you have sex with her?
voldigicam Posted April 15, 2009 Posted April 15, 2009 Does seem quite bogus. I never had a paralegal who was interesting enough to consider! Accidental intrusion on a private moment - unless something threatens physical harm to another - doesn't call for anything except a quiet retreat and acting as if it never happened. Same with overhead conversations and so on. Just didn't happen. Now intentionally prying, that's different. I don't hear, I don't see, next time it could be me.
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