Ariel25 Posted April 15, 2009 Posted April 15, 2009 I am a 23 year old college student with a terrible romantic track record. I have pretty much cheated on all of my former boyfriends, chalking it up to not having found "the one" yet. I tend to cheat on boyfriends when the relationship gets boring, but I always thought that when I found someone that I was really in love with that I just wouldn't want to cheat anymore. This has turned out not to be true. I have been with my current boyfriend for a year and a half now and things are really going great. I have never cheated on him, but lately I have been disinterested in my boyfriend sexually and emotionally. I just feel detached and have been thinking a lot about other men. I work with a guy that I have been lightly flirting with, but I keep having fantasies of sleeping with him or at least making out with him. I can't seem to stop these thoughts, and though I do not want to cheat, these thoughts are really driving me insane!! This leads me to wonder if I am destined to cheat on all of my boyfriends. I mean I thought I loved him, so I don't understand why I still want to cheat. Please help me deal with these thoughts!! Thanks!
JustLooking123 Posted April 15, 2009 Posted April 15, 2009 You cheat because you choose to. You are not "destined" to do anything; what a cop-out. Work on your issues; you are flawed.
Author Ariel25 Posted April 15, 2009 Author Posted April 15, 2009 Well I never said I was perfect, I am far from it. I put out this post so that I could work on my problems and get some insight. We are all flawed. But thanks for the reply just the same.
lostsunsets Posted April 15, 2009 Posted April 15, 2009 You have a problem with boundaries. You are selfish and you only care about yourself. This is obvious by cheating on everyone who ever loved you. Notice I didn't say who you loved. By your ACTIONS you are unable to remain true to anyone. Here come the caps again. YOU ARE A SERIAL CHEATER AND ARE NOT FIT FOR A RELATIONSHIP. Let me look down the long road of your life. You will have countless relationships, cheat in all of them and end up alone. That is your future. And will be your past. UNLESS you break this habit. Right now, you're thinking of cheating again. You are bored with your boyfriend. How about doing something completely out of character. Talk to him b4 you cheat. What the heck. You messed up every other relationship you ever had. Why not listen to someone for a change and try to work on your relationship. I won't hold my breath.
playlislay Posted April 15, 2009 Posted April 15, 2009 I wouldnt know what it is like to be a serial cheater, but I know what it is like to be with one!!! Its bloody awful, hurtful, soul destroying-ARGH!!!! My ex and I were in love, no doubt about it and he was one of the most amazing men I ever met, BUT he couldnt help but cheat. I dont know if he physically cheated on his last two gf (one of which he was nearly engaged to) but I do know that he would chat up women on 15 different dating/slut sights. I hated him for it as I knew that in time, he would do the same to me, despite how in love we were. What would make me so f*cking different for him to not do it behind my back? Nothing. My point being is, you my friend are weak and selfish. Yes, you are. I bet you end up cheating and then have a sudden "change of heart" and stay with your bf? Yes, the honeymoon period fades, but that is expected. Maybe you are not looking for a life-partner, or someone to settle down with? Maybe you dont understand the words: love, trust and commitment? Maybe you have never been cheated on so you dont understand the pain and heartbreak that the other goes through for your selfishness? People can change, but after reading into my beautiful ex's past, I doubt it very much. Find a man that wants to have an open relationship. You know, someone that you can 'love' but who has the persmission to shag about-the same applies to you. Would that feel nice? Having the man that you love dip his prize possession into some other womans you-know-what, sharing intimate moments, cuddling and kissing? If you think you could hack that then by all means do it, just DONT hurt others who are of a different mindset. Maybe Im being a wee bit mean here, but cheating on a partner (if it is not 'arranged' or 'agreed') is down right wrong and disgusting. Break up with him and then put yourself about. One very angry and moralistic loveshacker!!!!!!!!!!!!
AAlike Posted April 15, 2009 Posted April 15, 2009 I am a 23 year old college student with a terrible romantic track record. I have pretty much cheated on all of my former boyfriends, chalking it up to not having found "the one" yet. I tend to cheat on boyfriends when the relationship gets boring, but I always thought that when I found someone that I was really in love with that I just wouldn't want to cheat anymore. This has turned out not to be true. I have been with my current boyfriend for a year and a half now and things are really going great. I have never cheated on him, but lately I have been disinterested in my boyfriend sexually and emotionally. I just feel detached and have been thinking a lot about other men. I work with a guy that I have been lightly flirting with, but I keep having fantasies of sleeping with him or at least making out with him. I can't seem to stop these thoughts, and though I do not want to cheat, these thoughts are really driving me insane!! This leads me to wonder if I am destined to cheat on all of my boyfriends. I mean I thought I loved him, so I don't understand why I still want to cheat. Please help me deal with these thoughts!! Thanks! you're 23 and in college - there's nothing wrong with not wanting to settle down and having the desire to date around a little bit. In fact, I can't imagine going through college WITHOUT that desire. but for god's sakes, don't get in relationships if that's the case! or at least break up with guys once you get "disinterested" in them.
Dexter Morgan Posted April 15, 2009 Posted April 15, 2009 I am a 23 year old college student with a terrible romantic track record. I have pretty much cheated on all of my former boyfriends, chalking it up to not having found "the one" yet. I tend to cheat on boyfriends when the relationship gets boring then yes, you are doomed to cheat, and that part of your character will always be there. Because even if you have found, "the one", and you chalk it up to getting bored....well got a newsflash for ya....every relationship will get at least a little boring over time. Just wait until the trials of married/family life set in. Difference is, some people understand that things can get a little stale in trade for the overall picture...a family life. so if you cheat because you get bored, then that isn't going to change. I have been with my current boyfriend for a year and a half now and things are really going great. I have never cheated on him, but lately I have been disinterested in my boyfriend sexually and emotionally. Case in point. Best for you to not get into any committments. You can't handle them.
samspade Posted April 16, 2009 Posted April 16, 2009 As long as you are resigned to cowardice, you are "doomed" to cheat. You see, your fate isn't preordained. You cheat when you get bored...instead of having the courage to break up with your boyfriend, you opt to cheat. Here's the scoop: All of your relationships will end, and most will end by breakup. Just because someone isn't "the one" is no reason to shift the blame to him for screwing around behind his back. There is no "the one." You're in charge of your life. If you want to change your ways, start by learning how to confront someone and break up with him. Or, stay out of committed relationships. Just take some ownership.
lostsunsets Posted April 16, 2009 Posted April 16, 2009 Since, you don't seem to want to dialogue (with us or a counselor) about ways to change your behavior. I would have to say yes.
JP1409 Posted April 16, 2009 Posted April 16, 2009 you cheat because you choose to cheat, there's nothing else that is making you do it- it's in your own head! If you're finding your relationship to be a dead end then have the guts to end it! Don't screw the poor guy around by cheating on him.
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