emotionbankrupt Posted April 15, 2009 Posted April 15, 2009 [FONT=Arial][sIZE=2]Today is one of those days where I do not want to talk to, look at, listen to or be anywhere near my H. My anniversary is coming up what a joke. He wants to "do something" I'd rather not. I bite my tongue instead of tell him to take his "little friend" somewhere and leave me the Eff alone. But then I sound like a jealous Bit&h. I am not really jealous anymore as much as sickened and even told the OW she could have him AND her husband. I don't care. I seriously have some anger issues, and I do think my heart is closing bit by bit, I pray for the day that I no longer feel anything for him so I can just "move on". I have not found a "shrink" yet, as many of you have recommended, but have taken to running, reading this board and posting/venting occasionally to keep myself sane. It is nice to know I am not alone on this nasty road to hell and sad at the same time that there are so many broken souls from stupid actions of others. Any one on any herbal remedies that seems to help with mood? I would be anxious to hear of any that work. Maybe I am co-dependant. Maybe I want him worse because he wanted someone else. Who the heck knows. I will figure this out.. and if I find a magic answer to the whole mess I will share. sorry for the incessant rambling I continue to do. [/sIZE][/FONT]
TaraMaiden Posted April 15, 2009 Posted April 15, 2009 Talking, talking will do a lot, but not enough. You really need to underpin your words with actions, or eklse you will begin to sound like an empty vessel... loud echo but no substance. The misery we exist in is often of our own making. That is to say, the factors that surround us could be negative, but our attitude, determination and response to them, is up to us. So I think you need to take a good hard look at yourself and think: "What am I prepared to do now? What can I activate to get out of this cycle of mysery and suffering?" Suffering is optional. Your answers lie in your hands.....
Reggie Posted April 15, 2009 Posted April 15, 2009 The above is good advice. Beleive it or not(and it is difficult), you can take charge of your life and emotions. You need to realize that getting a divorce is , often, a really nice thing to do for yourself. It is the best way to put this behind you and get away from the source of your pian. Most folks do not get past infidelity. It is simply too big a hit and forever changes the nature of the relationship. I did try St John's Wort for a while, BTW, and it seemed to help. The exercising is crucial to me, as well. Good luck. This sucks but there is an end to it.
angel face Posted April 15, 2009 Posted April 15, 2009 Try Homeopathy, I needed help and wasn't happy to attend my doctor as I didn't want to be medicated. We feel pain because we need to. I was never convinced about Homeopathy until I tried it. i found myself able to cope so much better. Hope it helps
imagine Posted April 15, 2009 Posted April 15, 2009 I ran after a breakup in the bachelor years. Ran until I was tired. Maybe twenty kilometers or so. At the time, I ran five km's a day. When I woke up, I felt fine.
Author emotionbankrupt Posted April 15, 2009 Author Posted April 15, 2009 I hear what you are saying. I am having issues trying to get happy again. I guess I was thinking one day I would wake up! The clouds would lift and all would be right with my little portion of the world. I know nothing is that easy, I just need to stop the rampant thoughts that run through my head at 2am, keeping me awake. I will try st. john wort... I am an empty vessel I guess. Dont want to divorce but want to be happy. Its a catch 22 I guess. And the first poster is right if I dont do anything nothing will change. So I either shut up or put up pretty much. I need to figure out what.
2sure Posted April 15, 2009 Posted April 15, 2009 I have to say, it does not sound like you have , as of yet...sincerely decided one way or another which way you want to go with this. Recover or Divorce? Maybe its too soon for you to decide. If you choose Recovery , to make any sincere attempt , both you and H have responsibilities....but you know this. It sounds right now, in this post...that you are staying for spite. lol. Wanna work that one out.
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