kizik Posted April 14, 2009 Posted April 14, 2009 I'm short-ish (5'7") and skinny. I consider myself a good-looking guy, but I always seem to meet overweight women, who inevitably develop a crush on me over time. They're always cool people. But I feel bad, because I'm interesting in dating. I do not want to be friends with women; I want to flirt, f*ck, etc. How can I let the big girls know I'm not into 'em? Better yet, how can I stop meeting these fat girls?
mr.dream merchant Posted April 14, 2009 Posted April 14, 2009 Lol I'd just be honest with them. Let them know what they want is not where your heart's at. They'll understand. But man, if you weren't interested in dating, you should totally take them for a spin. Some of the best sex experiences I had was with an overweight chick. I'm not particularly attracted to overweight women but she was about 15 lbs or so, nothing too serious. But they know how to treat a guy, I guess because they don't get as much attention as the more in shape chicks.
Meaplus3 Posted April 14, 2009 Posted April 14, 2009 Why is it that you think large girls are attracted to you? As for how to deal with it, simply be honest and let them know right away that your just not into them in a romantic way. Mea:)
Author kizik Posted April 14, 2009 Author Posted April 14, 2009 Why is it that you think large girls are attracted to you? Because that's what happens, Mea.
sotired Posted April 14, 2009 Posted April 14, 2009 LOL! For some reason a lot of big girls love skinny boys. This post will get me crucified....And it's a sweeping generalization which isn't really fair, but I've noticed a lot of big girls will go for good looking guys no matter if they have a girlfriend/wife or not. They will put out thinking they can keep a man once he sleeps with them. Deep down I think it's a self esteem thing...They go for hot guys to make themselves feel better. Not all are like that...but nearly every fat girl that meets my boyfriend tries to make a move on him no matter how uninterested he is. They will flirt with him while I'm standing right there....It's never a skinny girl that does this, only the chunky monkeys. Anyway saying all this, I've been a big girl before....I wasn't like that so I know not all of them are, but around here that's how things are for the most part.
Bluebird In My Heart Posted April 14, 2009 Posted April 14, 2009 60%> of the US is overweight/obese, so unless you live under a rock, you can't avoid them. Just let them know you aren't interested if that's not what you're into. Let them know you want to be friends, but that's it. If they can't deal with it, it's not your problem. [Don't tell them it's because they're fat.]
sotired Posted April 14, 2009 Posted April 14, 2009 He doesn't want to be friends though. But yeah it's a numbers thing too...When most people are overweight you are going to have a greater chance of meeting fat chicks.
D-Lish Posted April 14, 2009 Posted April 14, 2009 Stop walking around with cake. And take the bacon out of your pocket. lol. Seriously Kiz- You can't help who is attracted to you. I don't know why, but I have seen lots of skinny guys with super-sized chicks. It always strikes me as an odd pairing. Don't make eye contact in the first place I guess. There are some people that will mistake a nice gesture or a kind word as an open invitation. It's sad, but maybe it's because they aren't used to members of the opposite gender being nice to them.
Jaytb Posted April 14, 2009 Posted April 14, 2009 Stop walking around with cake. That's a little uncalled for. But still, I laughed. OP, just say you're not interested. That should be enough.
White Flower Posted April 14, 2009 Posted April 14, 2009 LOL! For some reason a lot of big girls love skinny boys. This post will get me crucified....And it's a sweeping generalization which isn't really fair, but I've noticed a lot of big girls will go for good looking guys no matter if they have a girlfriend/wife or not. They will put out thinking they can keep a man once he sleeps with them. Deep down I think it's a self esteem thing...They go for hot guys to make themselves feel better. Not all are like that...but nearly every fat girl that meets my boyfriend tries to make a move on him no matter how uninterested he is. They will flirt with him while I'm standing right there....It's never a skinny girl that does this, only the chunky monkeys. Anyway saying all this, I've been a big girl before....I wasn't like that so I know not all of them are, but around here that's how things are for the most part.Are you sure it isn't your guy who draws them in? I can't see an overweight girl who has low self-esteem having the confidence to go for a hot guy, it just doesn't make sense. Maybe she is large but has no esteem issues by being so but in this case she is not going after your guy to make herself feel better. She just thinks he's hot and has the confidence to win him over. Perhaps they are just being nice and friendly and this threatens you? Like Mr Dream Merchant says, some of the best sex is had with a chunkier chick. I think the reason is very basic: men should be hard and women should be soft.
White Flower Posted April 14, 2009 Posted April 14, 2009 I'm short-ish (5'7") and skinny. I consider myself a good-looking guy, but I always seem to meet overweight women, who inevitably develop a crush on me over time. They're always cool people. But I feel bad, because I'm interesting in dating. I do not want to be friends with women; I want to flirt, f*ck, etc. How can I let the big girls know I'm not into 'em? Better yet, how can I stop meeting these fat girls? Are you saying that you cannot seem to attract thin girls? Look, we all attract undesirable people at some point and you do your best to let them down gently but your having an issue with it clearly denotes something else.
Bluebird In My Heart Posted April 14, 2009 Posted April 14, 2009 He doesn't want to be friends though... Good catch - oops! Well...just get all emo, put your head in your hands and say you are too wounded to ever love again. You want to be alone. A recluse. Forever and ever more. Something like that.
Trialbyfire Posted April 14, 2009 Posted April 14, 2009 kizik, sometimes people misconstrue friendliness for interest. This could be happening both ways, where you're friendly and they view it as interest, they're friendly and you view it as interest, or a combination of the two. There's no need to be cruel to be kind, unless they're overly-persistent. Just bring up the friends thing, a couple of times and if they're not getting the hint, be more blatant "I like you as a friend but that's all". Some will get their knickers in a knot, others will understand.
sotired Posted April 14, 2009 Posted April 14, 2009 White Flower....I think it's what another poster touched on. They aren't used to men being nice to them...so when they are, they think there is more to it. My boyfriend is very outgoing and nice. There was an extremely overweight girl he worked with....He car battery died and he helped jump her off...ever since then she's all over him at work to the point where he told her to back off. He doesn't even acknowledge her anymore because she got so pushy...and she still tries to sit with him on breaks. I think it's odd too because when I was fat, I didn't hit on any guy, much less a hot one. Anyway, I know it's not just me because he notices it when I'm not with him too. I'm not threatened at all....I don't even say anything when it happens because it's kind of sad. But he does make eye contact with people and is friendly...a lot of people mistake that for something it's not. And the kind of chicks I'm talking about aren't just 10-20 lbs overweight...They are more like in the 200+ range.
Author kizik Posted April 14, 2009 Author Posted April 14, 2009 Are you saying that you cannot seem to attract thin girls? Exactly. Here's the kicker - while I am not physically attracted to big girls, I am more mentally attracted to them. They're often really outgoing ans smart, b/c unlike a lot of thin, snotty bitches out there - big girls are forced to develop great personalities in order to get noticed. And a lot of em are just naturally smart. So I guess what I'm saying is that all the fit girls I meet have an attitude, or a boyfriend. And yeah, they're not into me.
sotired Posted April 14, 2009 Posted April 14, 2009 Maybe go to the gym and meet a recovering fat girl? And what do you consider fat? There are lots of girls that are in between that still look hot naked.
Author kizik Posted April 14, 2009 Author Posted April 14, 2009 what do you consider fat? There are lots of girls that are in between that still look hot naked. Well, look. As a guy, there are two types of women - those who give you a boner fantasizing about having sex with them, and those who do not. While the girls that are pursuing me are never obese - more like 10 to 20 lbs. overweight, as someone mentioned - they don't give me a boner.
sotired Posted April 14, 2009 Posted April 14, 2009 Well that narrows down your percentage even further....LOL I still think a gym would be a good place to try to meet thinner girls...or a juice bar or something like that. I see cute skinny girls at coffee shops and bookstores a lot.
Meaplus3 Posted April 14, 2009 Posted April 14, 2009 Because that's what happens, Mea. Ok. Well since your not attracted to large ladies in a physical way.. then your in need of a thin woman in order to have the physical attraction part covered. And since there are a good mix of both thin and large woman in most places (even at the gym) I guess it's sort of a hit or miss. Now, do you have a hobby? Because often enough people meet through shared hobbies. Have you tried to approach a thin woman? If so what kind of repsonse did you get? Mea:)
Mahatma Posted April 15, 2009 Posted April 15, 2009 Maybe go to the gym and meet a recovering fat girl? Perfect idea.
D-Lish Posted April 15, 2009 Posted April 15, 2009 Well, look. As a guy, there are two types of women - those who give you a boner fantasizing about having sex with them, and those who do not. While the girls that are pursuing me are never obese - more like 10 to 20 lbs. overweight, as someone mentioned - they don't give me a boner. What??? 10-20 lbs away from being skinny? That isn't what most people would designate as being fat- it's barely being overweight.
mr.dream merchant Posted April 15, 2009 Posted April 15, 2009 I'm telling ya, big girls will rock your ****ing world. I mean, I'm no saint, it took me 6 double shots of tequila and "This Is How We Do It" in the club to get me in the mood, but man, she ****ed my brains out. And gave me gas for the trip home, and munchie money, and awesome hook ups every weekend for about a month after that. I hate to sound desperate, but I appreciate woman of all shapes, sizes, and colors. If you've got 3 tits, purple skin, 20 lbs extra, and a pretty face, things could happen between me and you lol..if I'm single that is.
allina Posted April 15, 2009 Posted April 15, 2009 Honestly, I think it's because you're short. Because you have a physical disadvantage in the dating world, fat women, who are also at a disadvantage think you're in their league. This isn't my personal opinion, as I don't have a problem with short guys but to many people fat chick=short guy.
MN randomguy Posted April 15, 2009 Posted April 15, 2009 how old are you and what is your dating history, KiziK? Especially as you get a few years out of college the supply of really in shape women diminish. I seem to attract 200+lb. women. I agree that being too nice to them will draw them in being that they're not used to it. If they've got a hot friend you can be like, oh, I think your friend is so cute. That might help them get the picture. You can act oblivious to their advances and hopefully not be the A-hole shallow guy. I haven't had to try it yet, this is just advice from my playa housemate. As far as meeting fitter women, do lots of triathlons this summer. Lots of hot ex XC runners there. They have their ages painted on their calves and there's usually a barbeque afterwards. I know a lot about bikes so there is a common interest, something to talk about. Downside is that usually they are taken.
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