abbabeth Posted April 14, 2009 Posted April 14, 2009 me and my boyfriend of 4 months broke up about 5 days ago and already has a new gf that i knew about because he had her on his myspace top friends when we started dating,i told him about her when we were still together and he would say shes like my best friend in my class i don't like her i love you blah blah etc so he would tell me to trust him so i did but now hes with her.He told me the reason he was done because i went away for 3 days and hung out with my guy friends which i did nothing with(he didn't believe me) but in those past three days i know he was getting closer to her which kills me so,now i know the reason he wanted to break up was because of her but he never said that even when i asked was there someone else he said no,just you. so i don't know what to think he asked to be friends and i said no right away. and he lived 4 hours away from me which only made it harder.And yesterday on his aim he put that he was lonely what could that mean?
Rollercoasterr Posted April 14, 2009 Posted April 14, 2009 Sweetheart, I know it hurts, but it'll get better. In my honest opinion, 4 months is entirely too short of a time for 2 people to know if they love each other TRUTHFULLY. I do have some questions though. Why did you not contact him during the 3 days that you were gone? Have you two ever met face to face? And how old are the both of you? I'm not going to use your age to discriminate, but it is my own experience that the younger a couple is, the more likely it is for an LDR to fail(no offense whatsoever meant towards crimsonrose, she's the most mature 17 year old I've ever seen. There may be more younger posters here, but I'm not aware of it). I say this because my fiance and I dated 4 years ago when I was in high school and he was just starting out in college, and it failed miserably.
Author abbabeth Posted April 14, 2009 Author Posted April 14, 2009 I agree that it might have been to short of a time to tell but it seemed like it was love,and we did talk everyday that i was gone it was when i got back i went to the movies with my friends and forgot to call him that he got upset but i said i was sorry and that i would never forget again but he said he was done.He imed me the next day but i didn't say anything back because i was upset and didn't wanna talk to him.We were going to meet this month if this didn't happen & we even wanted to get a place together.I'm also 17 and think im mature for my age and i thought he was to but i guess not the day before i left he told me since he was a virgin or still is idk that he wanted me to be his 1st and hes never really talked about sex like that so im thinking maybe he just wanted to be with a girl and going with her is his way :/
Rollercoasterr Posted April 14, 2009 Posted April 14, 2009 If this is indeed the first and only time you've forgotten to call him then he is not at all mature for his age, and he might have been dating this other girl all along. If Cora chooses to pop her head into this thread I'm sure she wouldn't mind telling you her experience with her recent ex. It's a shameful thing what he did to her, and I hope he feels the pain he caused her, just like I hope this guy, if he was cheating on you with this girl, feels the pain as well. I'm not going to touch on the age issue as I already did in my previous post, but I think this might have moved a bit too fast too quickly.
Author abbabeth Posted April 14, 2009 Author Posted April 14, 2009 yes this was the only time, we would talk everyday and on weekends stay up talking till 6am if not later,and i know they weren't dating yet but i'm sure they were flirty with each other the days i was gone because of what one of his friends said on his comments and then she leaves all these comments on his page calling him cutie,babe n the <3 things it felt like someone stabbed me threw the heart knowing how he could just move on so fast and maybe things did move alittle to fast but we were so much alike i just thought he was the one i'd be with never did i think it would end this early.But i'm a believer in karma and i hope he gets it for what he did to me and he didn't even say sorry.
Island Girl Posted April 15, 2009 Posted April 15, 2009 Hi there. I am sorry you are going through this. It is tough. It seems he was spreading his emotions around - and this girl was quite flirty in her messages. So to you it is sudden. But on his side he may have already been attracted and developed other feelings for this other girl before. The one time you forgot to call and went to a movie he breaks up with you. That tells me he used that as an excuse to break it off. So he wasn't invested in the relationship anymore. Things happened pretty fast -- moved along really fast and the feelings got deep pretty fast. This can happen when you are young. Are you? Because the whole relationship seems that of a teenager. I am not trying to discount your feelings at all. But when we are younger or emotions can takeoff like a freight train. And it just goes barreling down the tracks past all warning signs and caution flags. Until someone shows you with consistency that they are committed to working things out be careful about handing your heart over to their care. I will get better. And you will find another. Finding love is a journey and it is not an easy one. But that makes it all the more sweet and worthwhile when you really do.
Author abbabeth Posted April 17, 2009 Author Posted April 17, 2009 yeah i agree about what you said ,just sucks that hes not the person i thought he was and he could be so heartless to do that without saying a word about it. but i know i'm slowly moving on and getting over him but then theres a part of me that feels he'll want me back i know its horrible for me to even thnk about taking him back if he did,with that being said do you think i should block off all ties to him?
Island Girl Posted April 17, 2009 Posted April 17, 2009 but i know i'm slowly moving on and getting over him but then theres a part of me that feels he'll want me back i know its horrible for me to even thnk about taking him back if he did,with that being said do you think i should block off all ties to him? Well, what kind of relationship do you want to have? What kind of characteristics do you want in a partner? Do you want someone who will work through problems and with whom you can entrust your heart to? Because this guy has shown he is not dependable and has no problem with dropping you in a second. And remember he did this without even having a valid reason. He has shown he lacks character and can be heartless and cruel. Is that the kind of guy you want or think that you deserve?
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