Do you feel confident with your mate when around very attractive people?

[Trialbyfire]

Meagan, you have learn to value and trust in yourself, before you can trust anyone else.

 

IF someone else gives you bad vibes, believe it. There's a reason why you're getting these flags, whether they're always looking externally with intent or otherwise. An honestly committed man isn't going to do this to you, as long as he doesn't NEED a lot of external validation to fill the emptiness inside of him.

 

This doesn't mean that men don't look at attractive women. Hell, I look at attractive men. It's by degrees and intent.

 

If a guy is always trying to generate female attention or is busy sourcing with intent, LOOK OUT!

[donnamaybe]

Yup, TBF, my guy knows I'm secure enough in "us" that he can tell me, "She's really pretty," about a gal, whether he knows her or not. We apparently have the same taste, because I always agree. That doesn't mean he wants to get in her pants. It's an observation, just like if I notice a good looking guy. So he's good looking. Big deal. That certainly doesn't mean I wanna do him.

[MeaganRaye]

Yup, TBF, my guy knows I'm secure enough in "us" that he can tell me, "She's really pretty," about a gal, whether he knows her or not. We apparently have the same taste, because I always agree. That doesn't mean he wants to get in her pants. It's an observation, just like if I notice a good looking guy. So he's good looking. Big deal. That certainly doesn't mean I wanna do him.

 

Now, that would bother me if a s/o told me that he thought another girl is pretty. I would think, "why are you telling me? do I look like your guy friends?" I just think that when you are in my presence I am the only woman you should be thinking about and looking at, every other woman is just a backdrop

 

Not to say the guy can't look at other women, just not tell me and then comment on it. You do that when you are out with your male friends, not me

[Trialbyfire]

Meagan, I sometimes wonder if you're a troll and sometimes wonder if you're even female. I could easily be wrong though.

[MeaganRaye]

Meagan, I sometimes wonder if you're a troll and sometimes wonder if you're even female. I could easily be wrong though.

What is so unrealisitc about what I said? Most women would not feel comfortable having their s/o tell them some other chick is hot in their presence

[donnamaybe]

When you are secure in yourself some day, you'll look back on the thoughts you used to have, Meagan, and laugh.

[Jersey Shortie]

Yup, TBF, my guy knows I'm secure enough in "us" that he can tell me, "She's really pretty," about a gal, whether he knows her or not. We apparently have the same taste, because I always agree. That doesn't mean he wants to get in her pants. It's an observation, just like if I notice a good looking guy. So he's good looking. Big deal. That certainly doesn't mean I wanna do him.

 

How do you know he doesn't want to get in her pants? Maybe he does. He is telling you she is pretty but really thinking how he would like to do her six ways to sunday.

 

Objectivly noticing an attractive member of the opposite sex is fine with me. lusting after that person or thinking about they want to do them is another. But I bet more men think this way then admit to their own partners.

 

I think women can more easily think a man is handsome and not want to have sex with him more then men can do the same with women.

[donnamaybe]

How do you know he doesn't want to get in her pants? Maybe he does. He is telling you she is pretty but really thinking how he would like to do her six ways to sunday.

 

LMAO

 

You, too, need to find a little self esteem. No wonder you don't trust men, the way you view them in their entirety.

[MeaganRaye]

How do you know he doesn't want to get in her pants? Maybe he does. He is telling you she is pretty but really thinking how he would like to do her six ways to sunday.

 

Objectivly noticing an attractive member of the opposite sex is fine with me. lusting after that person or thinking about they want to do them is another. But I bet more men think this way then admit to their own partners.

 

I think women can more easily think a man is handsome and not want to have sex with him more then men can do the same with women.

I agree 100%. I don't care what the male posters may say, just to save face, usually when they are noticing another woman's beauty they are thinking of sexing the chick as well.

[donnamaybe]

I get it. This is the thread for people lacking confidence or who put all men in the same low category.

 

I'll go find a thread I belong in.

[MeaganRaye]

I get it. This is the thread for people lacking confidence or who put all men in the same low category.

 

I'll go find a thread I belong in.

No, I just don't think everyone is being completely honest. I've never met so many women completely fine with their S/O looking at other women, and then reporting to them about how attractive they find them. Just why do you need to even know this? What do you care that she's attractive for?

[mr.dream merchant]

I agree 100%. I don't care what the male posters may say, just to save face, usually when they are noticing another woman's beauty they are thinking of sexing the chick as well.

 

Lol. You know I'd stick up for us guys but damn, this is true to an extent.

[2sure]

I had read but didnt respond on this thread previously because I thought the answer was pretty obvious: self confidence, security, maturity as other posters have pointed out. And thats all 100% true, but there is one more thing...

 

If your partner treats you well, if he makes you feel you can be confident in the relationship....it shows.

 

You can be the hottest woman in the room but if you arent happy with your relationship with the guy your with...you will feel insecure and threatened. So, most of it is the self confidence that comes with experience...but a lot of also depends on what your partner is putting out there.

[donnamaybe]

I had read but didnt respond on this thread previously because I thought the answer was pretty obvious: self confidence, security, maturity as other posters have pointed out. And thats all 100% true, but there is one more thing...

 

If your partner treats you well, if he makes you feel you can be confident in the relationship....it shows.

 

You can be the hottest woman in the room but if you arent happy with your relationship with the guy your with...you will feel insecure and threatened. So, most of it is the self confidence that comes with experience...but a lot of also depends on what your partner is putting out there.

 

And there you have it!

[anne1707]

I will actually point out very attractive women to my H and with no other motive than just stating how beautiful she may be. I know that there are women who are more attractive than me but I do not feel at all threatened by that. I am confident in my H's love for me. Being able to remark to each other about other people just shows that there is trust and understanding between us. It's not as if he would ever say "Oh God yes, I really want to **** her!" which is almost the way you make it sound. I also know that he is not thinking that either.

[MeaganRaye]

I will actually point out very attractive women to my H and with no other motive than just stating how beautiful she may be. I know that there are women who are more attractive than me but I do not feel at all threatened by that. I am confident in my H's love for me. Being able to remark to each other about other people just shows that there is trust and understanding between us. It's not as if he would ever say "Oh God yes, I really want to **** her!" which is almost the way you make it sound. I also know that he is not thinking that either.

If that's not what he's thinking, than what is the point of him finding any woman attractive? Some of you must have husbands who are gay or asexual. If she thought that she was THAT attractive enough to bring it to your attention, trust me, it's because he'd really want to do her. Otherwise, he wouldn't have even noticed her in the first place.

[Trialbyfire]

If that's not what he's thinking, than what is the point of him finding any woman attractive? Some of you must have husbands who are gay or asexual. If she thought that she was THAT attractive enough to bring it to your attention, trust me, it's because he'd really want to do her. Otherwise, he wouldn't have even noticed her in the first place.

Do you want to do every opposite gender person you see?

[anne1707]

Meagan

 

He will notice that another woman is attractive because he is human. Simple as that. But that is as far as it goes. And to state that he must be gay or asexual shows just how much you lack in confidence and understanding of men.

 

I reckon I know my H better than you do just as all the other women on here know their partners and that they can trust them. It is all about having a loving, mature relationship with mutual trust.

[donnamaybe]

I reckon I know my H better than you do just as all the other women on here know their partners and that they can trust them. It is all about having a loving, mature relationship with mutual trust.

 

ESPECIALLY maturity, which is SORELY lacking in this thread.

[Lizzie60]

Men DO notice hot women... don't kid yourself..

 

and if you think you've got the perfect guy who ISN'T looking at hot girls/women.. you're sooo naive..

 

He might do as if he's not noticing them.. or make faces.. like he's thinking it's funny.. and maybe it is .. because the woman is 'tacky' or not very attractive, or not his style.. whatever. ... but if it was a hottie.. he might still do the 'face' just to make you feel good.. but, I swear.. he already 'saw her naked in his mind'...

[Jersey Shortie]

LMAO

 

You, too, need to find a little self esteem. No wonder you don't trust men, the way you view them in their entirety.

 

This arguement gets used a little too much.. "oh you just have low self esteem.." Blah blah blah.. Seriously, what does my question have to do with self esteem? Do you really tyink your boyfriend/husband is noticing how attractive another woman is and NOT thinking about her on a sexual level? Or is it that you don't really care if he is thinking about her on a sexual level? Even while commenting to you how attractive he finds her. Seriously noticing someone is attractive and being objective about is one thing. But do you honestly think most men are objective about beauty in other women? I would disagree. Sure, he tells you "oh she is pretty". But how do you know he isn't thinking about her sexually? Self esteem as very little to do with the question i posed.

[Trialbyfire]

Do you want to do every opposite gender person you see?

Meagan, I'm waiting for a response to this question, although I should have stated "attractive opposite gender".

 

The way I see it is that if you respond "no, I don't want to do every attractive opposite gender person", then this means that you believe you're the only person who can control their urges, which is unreasonable. IF you respond that "yes, I do want to do every attractive opposite gender person", then you're projecting your own inability to control yourself, onto other people.

 

Remember, we're all different, males or females, therefore, are capable of different thoughts, actions and emotions.

 

It's all about intent. For example, a hooker who believes that all men want to do every attractive woman he sees. Due to her environment of sleeze buckets she sleeps with, it's no wonder she projects these thoughts onto decent men.

[pollywag]

How do you know he doesn't want to get in her pants? Maybe he does. He is telling you she is pretty but really thinking how he would like to do her six ways to sunday.

 

 

 

Guys want a lot of things and they never act on them. You can't live your life trying to figure out what a man thinks vs what he tells you, you will drive yourself insane. You have to trust that what he tells you and what he shows you is what he means.

 

What if I was thinking something completely different than what I am writing now? What if you are thinking something completely different than what you are writing on your end? You can't live like that, it WILL drive you bananas!

 

Yes men water down a lot of their admissions when we put them on the spot,. They tell white lies to spare us from their little perverted truths, big deal! Guys all check out women and yeah they more than likely are thinking what it would be like to get in to a good looking woman's skirt. Oh well, who cares what they think? As long as they are good to you and are faithful to you they could want a lot of things in their heads but that doesn't mean they will actually do them. Men like to live in fantasy a lot, and a lot of those fantasies are born and die right in their heads. The big head that is.

[Lizzie60]

This arguement gets used a little too much.. "oh you just have low self esteem.." Blah blah blah.. Seriously, what does my question have to do with self esteem? Do you really tyink your boyfriend/husband is noticing how attractive another woman is and NOT thinking about her on a sexual level? Or is it that you don't really care if he is thinking about her on a sexual level? Even while commenting to you how attractive he finds her. Seriously noticing someone is attractive and being objective about is one thing. But do you honestly think most men are objective about beauty in other women? I would disagree. Sure, he tells you "oh she is pretty". But how do you know he isn't thinking about her sexually? Self esteem as very little to do with the question i posed.

 

They do.. they ALL think about sex when they look at a beautiful, sexy woman.. to think they're not.. is very naive.. IMO.

 

I also agree with the 'self esteem' bullsh*t being thrown right and left on this forum..

[donnamaybe]

This arguement gets used a little too much.. "oh you just have low self esteem.." Blah blah blah.. Seriously, what does my question have to do with self esteem? Do you really tyink your boyfriend/husband is noticing how attractive another woman is and NOT thinking about her on a sexual level? Or is it that you don't really care if he is thinking about her on a sexual level? Even while commenting to you how attractive he finds her. Seriously noticing someone is attractive and being objective about is one thing. But do you honestly think most men are objective about beauty in other women? I would disagree. Sure, he tells you "oh she is pretty". But how do you know he isn't thinking about her sexually? Self esteem as very little to do with the question i posed.

 

We're not talking about any man but MY man, so your question is moot.

 

It's true when I say you lack self esteem if you think you need to live your life in fear that every man you are involved with is going to screw some other woman when you're not looking. What an awful burden to bear!