hi

[willfromsydney]

this is my first thread so bare that in mind while reading it lol

my gf of 5 yrs left me yesterday things were a bit rocky but we decided to try and fix things but the after a night out which i thought we both enjoyed she ended it on the phone the problems were i never got to see her as she was either working or with friends and when i would call her she would just act distant alarm bells were going off id ask her if we were cool she would say yes so i would put it out of my mind we had broken up 2yrs ago for exactly the same reason as she is giving me now she doesnt know who she is and has lost herself and that its not me or the relationship she want to enjoy life travel and watever oportunties come her way she came back to me after 6mnths i found out she had been with 3 guys 1 was her ex from school the second was a mate or a mate which really hurt the 3rd she never admitted to but we have mutual friends i said i didnt want her back she begged me for 3months with gifts suprise visits and what not i finally caved in and took her back as i did still love her truth be told i never stopped iv always loved and adored her her since day one it took some time regain the trust i made her promise this would never happen again but things were good now im here devasted again tearing my hair out imgining her with someone else as i was told she was already sleeping with someone it hasnt been more than 48hrs im gutted now this my question is how do i deal with this when last time my mate stopped me from trying to kill myself after eveything i just had enuf i look back to my moment of weakness but dont want it to get that bad again she emailed me today saying sorry she never wanted this and that she will always care for me but to move on as she is same old crap i beggd her to take me back as i had done nothing wrong and could not understand why i had to go thru this again the worst part is she was my bestfriend also whenever i was upset or hurt i would talk to her now i sit here typing this while she is out living her life after leaving me a mess sorry if that was all over the place but this girls has been my everything for 5yrs i just dont know hot to deal with this again knowing that clearly i didnt mean a thing to her if she could move on so quick i know i deserve better but i do still want her back its sad i cant live without her

[boldjack]

First of all dude, this is HER problem, not yours. Al that Suicide crap, put out of your head, man-up and look out for yourself. I have been to Australia and there are millions of beautiful women there. I'm sure that if you try, you can find a better woman than her. This woman is a bad, bad, one. She doesn't love, you even a little bit. You are her safety-valve, when she meets someone she wants to scr*w, then she dumps you until her new love goes bad, then she comes crawling back, and does it again. She has NO respect for you or for your feelings, so why would you continually put yourself thru this? Do you have self-esteem issues? My advice is to have No contact of any kind with her, completely cut her off. Then go to counselling, and start improving your own life, so when you meet someone else, you will have a better, more mature attitude, and will be able to move on with a new love. Good Luck

[willfromsydney]

the whole suicide thing came from finding out on a night out a mutual friend of ours came up and told me my ex slept with her man i was drinking heavily last time drowning my sorrows all the while she was filling me with false hope saying she loved me and saw me in her future she completely destroyed my self esteem and confidence looking back thats probably why i took her back i didnt think i could do any better and it didnt change the fact i do love her 5yrs is a long time to just turn ur back on we have been back togrther for 2.5 yrs everyday i regret my suicide attempt i was just saying im scared because i dont want to be in the position again i think im stronger this time but we still have the same friends and all that stuff i am trying nc but i need to contact her as we have a joint bank account to close that we both need to be present 4 and i still have to collect yrs of stuff at her house the whole situation is agony i cant sleep eat or wat not im just lucky my boss has given me a week off to get thru the worst of it fingers crossed

[boldjack]

Well, I would call her and make an appointment at the bank to close your account, but make sure that you aren't alone with her. At the same time ask her when would be a good time for you to go pick your stuff up. Be sure to take a mate with you, and don't talk to her any more than absolutely necessary. After that, she no longer exists. Get away from her and maintain your own circle of mates, try to exclude her whenever possible. It will be hard at first, but you will be glad you did later. When you meet a Good, honest, loving, woman, you'll wonder why you didn't do this sooner.

[willfromsydney]

thank u fror ur advice thats the whole reason im on here iv been reading these posts all day and remember reading them last time to they help as does talking getting off my chest as i dont want to burden my friends or loved ones again with the same old stuff looking back i would be lying if i said i was completly happy during the last 2 and a half years there were happy moments but i was still trying to heal from our last breakup and other issues its the happy moments i hold onto as last tie because i still see her as the same girl i fell completely in love with day one she is my first real love i suppose i believe in the fairy tale love is enuf and to give ur whole self to someone iv spent my last 2.5 yrs creating an image and a dream in my head my grandparents were together for 65yrs they survived ww2 and a hole lot of stuff wen made nan died my pop died to weeks later from a broken heart he couldnt live without her thats what iv been hoping i had because thats exacly wat im looking for if anybody has anything to say i would gretly appreciate the help