drummerprince81 Posted April 14, 2009 Posted April 14, 2009 [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]I just feel like I'm in a predicament. I understand that far more relationships are more substantial than what I had (22 months), or that the stakes are higher (engagements ended, divorce, children left behind etc) so I should not be so inconsiderate to keep posting for advice and support on LS when other people are in far worse situations but I cannot seem to set myself free from my quagmire. A break-up is a break-up whatever the magnitude, and I loved my ex with every molecule in my body. [/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]Like I said before - it was totally out of the blue, and I didn't have a clue what to do when she broke up with me. I also think everything I did after drove her further away. I didn't send her a birthday card and told her in a letter that she treated me badly because she wouldn't give me a second chance and her reasons were lacklustre as if something was amiss (my first post tells you my full story). I am finding it impossible to let go, and I feel completely wretched with developments this week. [/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]It has been 6 weeks since me and my girlfriend broke up, and well during the last week I've learnt that she is seeing someone else already, but because it is the person who it is, I do not believe they have only just got together. During our time together, she had always been friends with this guy. They had been out on a few dates before I met her but nothing came of it, and well a few months down the line she met me and I became her first love, her first everything. But they stayed friends. I always knew he had a hidden agenda, and she always had in my opinion an unnecessary curiosty about him. He'd always be texting her things that were uncalled for, asking her to meet him, and there were times where they would be at parties/events and it just annoyed the hell out of me I guess because I had no control over him or what they were doing. I trusted her but not him, and because I know what guys a are like. [/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]I do believe that his actions, and her age (she was 20 - I'm 26) caused a problem in our relationship. She always said she would never cheat on me, but he always seemed to be tempting her curiosity. I found out once he had told her to finish with me. Do you think everyone feels temptation, even if they were so in love they thought their "head would explode"? If that temptation never goes away, does it get stronger? I guess it shows we were not meant to be.[/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]And now they are together. ALREADY. And the hardest part is that he lives in the next street away from me so I will always be bumping into them. She has got no respect for me whatsoever. It makes my blood boil and my muscles tingle but not in an angry way, I can only describe it as sadness and jealousy because the relationship ended too hastily and in many ways I was left unfulfilled. I know this sounds selfish, but she promised me so much and things were only going to get more fun and exciting. I think about it every day. I've been left, flat on my ass trying to make head or tail of what really went wrong, blaming myself and cursing myself for not doing this and that. I've been going around in circles because it must have been something I did for her to change, unless it just really is her age and immaturity, or the grass is greener on the other side. [/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]Because I didn't get in touch in person I never got full closure. I was afraid of being hurt more and perhaps its the not knowing that is making me feel like this. I shouldn't have been such a coward because I really did hardly anything wrong, I treated her and made her feel like a princess so I shouldn't have been afraid of what she had to say. Dammit!!! Is it pointless asking her now what really went wrong? [/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]I feel like I'm losing my mind. NC is doing me no good. I'm not exaggerating - I do not think I've thought about something else for less than a minute in the last 6 weeks. This is not healthy. I am good guy, nice looking, smart, honest, good aspirations and fun so I should not let anyone get the better of me but I feel so low. I feel like a giant foot has flattened me, and her behaviour and attitude towards me hasn't helped at all. I cannot seem to pick myself up, and I have absolute no energy because I'm wasting it on thoughts of her. I cannot block her. The fact that she is not thinking about me should be enough for me to do the same but all I feel is hurt for this because I gave her so much love and affection, I gave her the world and we go through one rough patch and she packed her bags. I want to tell her how much I love her and miss her, I want to ask her what really went wrong. My whole family and friends are just saying forget her, but why can't I? Has anyone else ever been as obsessed as this? Sorry for the long post - I don't expect many replies but if somebody has been in the same boat before I'd like to know how you dealt with things.[/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT]
sotired Posted April 14, 2009 Posted April 14, 2009 I was with a guy for 2 years. We were totally in love (or so I thought)....He dumped me for some stupid reason and by the end of the week was hooking up with his ex girlfriend. Of course I then started thinking they were talking throughout the relationship. I don't know if they were or not, I never caught him doing it, but when someone moves on that fast you have to wonder. I was a wreck for a good 2 or 3 months and then I just got over it. I saw him for the piece of crap he was. I quit calling him, quit trying to get back with him and of course.....after about 3 days of no contact he starts calling me wanting to be 'friends.' Anyway I just started focusing on me. Got a new hairdo, bought new clothes, started working out more. Spent more time with my girlfriends. I also began chatting with random guys online..Nothing serious but it gave me hope that I'd find someone else. Try your best to block her out. When you start thinking about her go for a jog or wash your car or something...anything to distract yourself. If you see her on the street don't even acknowledge her, just walk away. I know it hurts, but she's not someone you'd really want back at this point anyway.
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