Marshmallow_Tears Posted April 14, 2009 Posted April 14, 2009 So, I have been with my boyfriend for over a year now. We have been living together for almost all that time. He is my first boyfriend and, I thought, my last. I promised to stay with him forever. I gave him everything and I thought it would last. But lately, I've been feeling like the relationship is going stale. We've been fighting everytime we speak to each other, our thoughts and emotions conflict constantly. So I did the unthinkable: I went to Lavalife and met someone online that I really clicked with. I feel so bad but I really like this guy and even when I am with my boyfriend all I can think about is him. He is really sweet to me and doesn't constantly make fun of everything I say. My boyfriend is so trusting and probably wouldn't believe it if I said I was cheating on him, but I kind of wanna tell him, even if it would kill him (oh, did I mention he is suicidal...well not for awhile, but I'm afraid he may do something drastic if I tell him there's someone else). Lately, he's been really sweet to me and he's just been piling on the affection and I start crying everytime I think of what I'm doing to him. He wants to know what is going on, but I just can't tell him. When I even hint at the fact that I want to break up with him, he gets really upset and starts crying. I just don't know what to do...
jnj express Posted April 14, 2009 Posted April 14, 2009 Just get out of your relationship, you don't have to give him any specific reason, you are not legally bound to him, obviously the 2 of you had a fling, but there is nothing lasting between the 2 of you, or you wouldn't have turned to another, and probably others, you need to experience life. Do not be hard on yourself about ending your relationship with your soon to be XBF, he is a big boy, he needs to grow up and stop crying about your leaving, just tell him you have grown out of the relationship, and you want to experience life with other people, and he needs to understand and doesn't have a choice.
Sco Posted April 14, 2009 Posted April 14, 2009 My boyfriend is so trusting and probably wouldn't believe it if I said I was cheating on him, but I kind of wanna tell him, even if it would kill him (oh, did I mention he is suicidal... wanna tell him what? that you're cheating on him, or that you wanna break up with him? As I see it, you've already broken up with him, moved on and found somebody else. Anyhow if he's suicidal, I wouldn't tell him about the other guy, this will only fuel the fire. I would simply let him down easy and "break the norm" in a series of events 'till he gets the point like - limited phone calls - limited activities - no sex etc... and then tell him...all that preferably in a short period of time. Hope that helped, I'm sure others will jump in and give you a few more ideas.. Good luck to you!
lostsunsets Posted April 14, 2009 Posted April 14, 2009 You're worried about your boyfriend? I don't know if you realized this, but you revealed a part of your character. You are a cheater. Now that you have been able to betray someone who loves you, you will be able to do it easier the next time. I sincerely hope you don't get married and I pity the guy if you do. Just imagine. You find the perfect guy. You get married. Have a kid or two. Six years down the line you are bored with the everyday life that marriage is. And you jump back on lava life and betray your man. Its not if, its when. So please protect the general male population and don't marry any of them. Remember this was your first boyfriend. Your first. You could have broken it off, but you didn't. So you're a cheater on your first relationship. And you did it so easily. What a train wreck.
Bryanp Posted April 14, 2009 Posted April 14, 2009 How would you feel if your boyfriend was doing to you what you are doing to him behind your back and putting your health at risk for STD's? It is clear that you have no respect for your so-called boyfriend. At the very least you need to tell him that you have been cheating with another man behind his back. It is the very least you should do.
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