heartbrokenxxxx Posted April 13, 2009 Posted April 13, 2009 where do i start? well i had been with my ex for 3 years and 8 months on and off, from 14-18 years old so first love.. on and off because he split with me quite alot during the relationship, id say about 10 times all together... more at the beginning where we would only break up for no longer than a week (i put it down to immerturity as we were younger) but we grew more serious the older we got. but in the last year he dumped me last july saying it was over for good but then we got back together two weeks later and in november last year for the same reasons he dumped me again.. always him not being happy and bored of our relationship so resulting in arguing and then him dumping me... but before he dumped me for good we got intimate but then after he said no it was definately over, i was in pieces when he dumped me, but then he got hold of me and wanted to be with me and we got back together two weeks later again (i got back with him because i loved him and missed him) at first he was so nice, best boyfriend you could wish for but it still wouldnt work as i would be insecure because of the amount he dumped me and said bad things about me and the relationship when we split so that caused arguments too. thats just in a nut shell of our rocky relationship but most recently is what is hurting me most where i just cant move on... well after all those times him splitting with me i got back with him in december from when he dumped me in november because once again he promised me he wanted me and wanted it to work blah blah blah, i believed him, i mostly got back with him cos ive wanted to be with him all along throughout the relationship and everytime he dumped me i still wanted to be with him and it took away the pain of loosing him so i jumped at every opportunity to give things another go. i thought with my heart not my head! anyway... it went downhill in february...again!! him saying i bring him down and wants to be single.. well i had none of it and ignored him.. two days later he rang me begging for the ultimate fresh start, saying his life wouldnt be as good without me and how much he loves me, i argued it because of obvious reasons but he promised he only means the good things.. so i met him to see how it went as he was begging to meet me and it went so well like it usually does at first when we make up but then 4 weeks later he acted off all of a sudden and on march 15th i rang him after he ignored me for a few days and he said.. he didnt no whether he wanted to be with me, that hes finding the relationship boring, didnt no if he wanted to meet me and when hes next going to talk to me.. the same thing of what he says everytime he dumps me.. i jus couldnt believe it (although i should really) but he promised it was fresh start and that he didnt mean those things and that he would tell me when things are wrong so we could sort it out, but to find it out where i had to call him when he ignored me for days saying all that.. i was fuming, the fact he went back on his word, also he said the bad things from what he said in february he repeated again so he lied as well as he must mean them, him saying he doesnt no what he wants etc etc.. i decided to send him an e mail that night saying how much he hurt me with everything hes done and that it was over for good as i am sick of being messed around.. well a week passed and no phone call or relpy, thats how little he cared for me in the end even after everything he said to me only 4 weeks ago where he said he wanted me and that his life wouldnt be good without me etc etc. i rang him a week later as i wanted to know how he felt and he said he was happier without me and glad i dumped him really and was off :,( well my questions and thoughts are.. did i do the right thing in dumping him in e mail..?? i thought it was right because i couldnt bare the pain of not knowing whether he was going to dump me again or not as i no the pain is unbareable as i went through it before, also he said he didnt know when he would next talk to me and couldnt go through him ignoring me too.. so at the time i thought it was best but now im regretting it as we never fully disscussed things as it ended so quick and havent seen im since also... what the hell did he really feel?? i mean when we split he said bad things about me and relationship but then when we got back together he said it wasnt true and that he loves me and misses me.. so confused! Should i get in contact with him again to talk about things? or is it too late now? or would i look weak because i already called him and he gave me a cold response? i dont want to ever get back with him but its a shame how it ended from being together so long and it wasnt all bad throughout relationship, he was my first love and i still love him and it hurts so much i jst cant be with him!!.. but then it was his fault why it ended i feel.. sorry if this thread doesnt make sense but it was hard to fit in all my 3 years and 8 months drama into a short story.. any thoughts, questions,advice or any comments would help me hugely appreciated because im feeling so low right now thankyou!!
CailinPig Posted April 13, 2009 Posted April 13, 2009 this is not what you wanna hear, i know. im in the same situation. exact same really. but you gotta let that one go. it didnt work for th 3 years you were together. it wasnt your fault - it was his. therefore, you need a boyfriend replacement, or a boyfriend upgrade. don't get back with him, please. he'll only hurt you again. i've learned that lesson the hard way.
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