Cheating On My Boyfriend Of One Year With His Friend

[dreamer.]

I'm 16 years old, gr.11 and have been seeing my boyfriend, 18 years old gr.12 for a year now. We got to different schools and live 20mins from eachother. This relationship has always been rocky but we always worked through it, even during a really rough patch which caused his parents to band him from seeing me but they put that behind them and always invite me over but rarely do now.

 

In the last month me and his friend started talking on MSN. I found myself having interest in him but he always has a girlfriend three years younger, gr.10 (she had skipped a grade and didnt tell him until after they started going out and he never has been comfortable with this but claims he's in to deep with her). Well at a friends party (of 30 people) a group of us leave to the nearby playground and of course once i saw this guy going i went too and my boyfriend stayed behind. At the playground i pointed out the skatepark across a soccer feild and he started walking over to it with me. Ok so honestly i was trying to get us away from other people and out of sight. We started talking and he asked me how i met my boyfriend and i tell him. soon the people from the playground come over and we left back to the house but walked together joking around and stuff. So in a conversation we had i made a baaadd joke when he asked me for a quote for his graduation picture and i said "know the girls age when you hit on her" and i was just kidding but he took it really wrong and stoped talking to me and i felt HORRIABLE, at a couple points o was in tears cause i thought i lost a good friend. But then he starts talking to me a few days later and were good again. Soon our conversations took a more personal twist (coincidently this started happening the week his girlfriend goes to mexico for a trip) and somehow the 21 question game came up and the first thing he asked me was "would you ever cheat on your boyfriend" so worked around it to not sound like "yes if it were you" so i said i dont know maybe if i was drunk and such. (usually im SOOOOO against cheating so idk what i was doing!) and i asked him and he replies the same and says he cant see himself doing anything with his girlfriend but once again is in too deep to leave her. Eventually through some more intimate conversations he admits he would love to hook up with me and had been thinking it since the skatepark too. Ok so im not so innocent as people think and teased him like crazy, i kind of found it fun (not good i know). There were times i thought he lost interest in hooking up when he would talk less but as soon as i thought this he'd show he hadnt.

The other night we were at a friends again. My boyfriend heads to bed and three of us were awake (the guy, me and the girl who's house it was at) yet again i thought he lost interest until he started texting me. I decided i was going to sleep on the couch instead of with my boyfriend on the bed (we only SLEEP just to get that straight) so i wouldnt wake him up. the guy says to the girl he was going to sleep infront of the couch (so all three of us.. my boyfriend , him, and i were in the same area). As soon as she leaves we go behind the couch and fool around.. we stopped when it sounded likemy boyfriend was waking and when we were confident it was safe to go back to our bed's we laugh at everything and he says thank you.

 

The weirdest part is.. i have no guilt! not a bit! infact i feel full of adredaline, probably cause we got away with it. I know there is the obvious solution to all this "break up with your boyfriend" or "tell him the truth" but i dont want to? after the summer the guy will be gone to a college about an hour away while my boyfriend will still be 20mins away but in the other direction as now. To be truthful, i sort of want something more from this guy ive been hooking up with, but obviously there's many things that wouldnt work with that. Sometimes i feel like im getting feelings for him. Like when it was three of us awake, the girl at one point kept going on about this guy's girlfriend and saying how he likes her and stuff and i was one more comment away from getting up and leaving. I think too i decided to cheat on my boyfriend because id rather cheat at this time and age while we're only dating than anything more. i mean like if we got more serious i would definatly tell him the truth but for whatever reason i dont feel obligated or guilted to at this point in time. Another that bugged me was when i asked this guy what if he started "getting some" from his girlfriend, and he said once again that he's in too deep with her and thinks she's awesome and such but cant see himself doing anything like that with her.

 

I just wanted to share this to get some sensible input, something maybe nont that a mother would say type thing.

[PandorasBox]

Ok I wont tell you to "break up" with your b/f. And I wont tell you to "tell him the truth"either. You already stated you didn't want to and that you don't feel guilty. So there is nothing really to tell you other than what goes around comes around. Good luck to you!

[dreamer.]

Ok thanks...

[JackJack]

What exactly are you wanting to know?

[JLee26]

Honey listen, your a teen, you don't need to be in a life long committed relationship right now. If other boys seem exciting, then break it off with your boyfriend and enjoy being a kid. When you grow up you will have plenty of time to find the "one", but right now you should be living it up. You need to kiss a few frogs before you find your prince. but don't cheat, starting that kind of thing in life leads to bad behavior in the future, just be honest and say "listen i'm young, your young, we had fun but now its done."

[Dexter Morgan]

Well, you are a teen. I agree, you don't need to be in committed relationships right now because you are not mature enough.

 

So rather than having a boyfriend, just see whatever flavor of the week you want.

 

Now, as far as saying you don't feel guilty about it....just wait until you get all smitten and "in love" with a guy, and he does it to you...then we'll see if you change your tune about whether you feel guilty about screwing someone over.

[Bryanp]

I am just curious but how would you feel if your boyfriend was fooling around with another girl behind the sofa when you were sleeping and laughed about it afterward and saying he had no guilt? You don't treat people in a relationship this way. What do you think this says about you?

[Spectre]

Dump your bf, he deserves better. Also, quit acting like a whore. You're only 16, why brand yourself like that before you even get out of high school? Show some self respect here, and learn to respect other people as well.

 

Otherwise, you're just gonna be one of those girls who guys use. I find it sad you're *already* messing around with guys and not really caring who you hurt.

 

Also, why do people think because a person is young, they should be out there screwing a bunch of people? You don't enhance your life by sleeping with a lot of people, you want excitement? Go bungee jumping or skydiving. You don't get a pass on cheating simply because you're a certain age, sorry, if you think that, you certainly are not ready to be dating anyone. Well, you already aren't ready to be dating, judging from your post. Good luck, and I mean that to your bf, hopefully the poor guy smartens up and drops you, he deserves a lot better.

[Dexter Morgan]

Dump your bf, he deserves better. Also, quit acting like a whore. You're only 16, why brand yourself like that before you even get out of high school? Show some self respect here, and learn to respect other people as well.

 

Otherwise, you're just gonna be one of those girls who guys use.

 

She'll learn that the hard way.

[mental_traveller]

My advice is simply to treat others as you would want to be treated if you were in their shoes.