zzxxx Posted April 13, 2009 Posted April 13, 2009 I dumped my ex early last year because I found out that he had lied to me about so many things (he didn't cheat on me or anything like that). I just couldn't deal with it anymore since it was causing arguments and hurting me all the time in our LDR. I also gave him many chances to "redeem" himself (for lack of a better word) but he didn't really take them. I finally gave up and ended it. Fast forward to early this year. I decided to contact him on msn to see what he was up to since we hadn't contacted each other since we broke up. It was just like old times with all the arguments. He asked me if I slept with anyone since we broke up, and I said no, but I told him I did something sexual with one guy (completely true). (I did this pretty much a year after we broke up.) He said he hadn't done anything and was probably still in love with me. He also said that it felt like we never broke up. Anyway, he was really angry about it and told me that he didn't want to talk to me ever again. He didn't give me a chance to explain anything and just left. I sent him an email pretty much right afterwards and told him that if I had known that he still loved me, then I wouldn't even have done anything with that guy. He hasn't replied and I feel like an idiot for sending that. I couldn't care less that we're not together anymore. In fact, I don't even want to be in a relationship with him. We're not compatible (on many levels). The part that's bothering me is that I think he perceives me as a total bi.tch who cheated on him. To me, I didn't do anything wrong at all. I never heard from him after we broke up so I thought he didn't want to get back together, plus I hooked up with that guy almost a year after we broke up! He told the story to his friend (from his point of view, of course), so his friend also thinks I'm a bi.tch who cheated on him. To add to things, I'm angry at myself for sending that sappy email to him because again, it makes me look like I'm in the wrong. Rationally, I know that he is just an immature, insecure, selfish little boy... but it still bothers me that he doesn't want to talk to me anymore or be friends with me. Oh yeah, I also found out that the hypocrite got a girlfriend a month after we spoke on msn (but that doesn't bother me). I know my issue is trivial (I'm young ), but how can I feel better about all of this? Many thanks in advance to any kind souls who bother to read/reply.
vessv6l Posted April 14, 2009 Posted April 14, 2009 hey there Why did you say that if you knew he loved you, you wouldnt have done anything with another guy but then continued on to same you dont want a relationship with him? Why would you hold out on happiness with someone else if he still has feelings for you but dont want anything with him? You ended it for valid reasons and said you game him a chance to try to make things better which he didnt take. His loss. You dont sound like a bitch at all so forget what he or his friends think of you. What is imporant is what you think of yourself. So get out there and find someone who deserves you. Dont regret sending that email, it cant change it and really only shows you have a kind heart which is a good thing and a quality everyone looks for in a partner
sotired Posted April 14, 2009 Posted April 14, 2009 Don't let it get to you. He's a liar anyway....if he did hook up with someone he wouldn't admit it. He is just trying to make you feel bad...Probably hoping you'll continue to try to contact him to "make things right" Who cares what he thinks. You know the truth. Block him from your life and move on.
Author zzxxx Posted April 14, 2009 Author Posted April 14, 2009 Thank you both for taking the time to write some awesome replies! It's always good to see the situation from someone else's perspective. I feel a million times better thanks to you two. I hope everything works out for you guys as well. Take care.
Sonic_chaos Posted April 15, 2009 Posted April 15, 2009 I competlely agree too. It was like he was after all this time looking for someone to blame and that you owned up to having some other activities your a bit*h because... yea just because... I find it unbelievable that his friends even thought that about you. 12 months is a long time. And im pretty certain it felt a natural thing to do with that other guy. After all, when you break up its FINISHED. Dont feel bad at all. Just keep enjoying life
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