sexibanez Posted April 13, 2009 Posted April 13, 2009 hi guys, i was heartbroken for ages and no matter what i said to my ex, it all fell on deaf ears. However, I got my laptop back from her place and noticed it had saved all her MSN conversations. I thought what the hell, she's put me through hell let's at least see what her mindset is like (to check if I had a chance of getting back together). Boom! I find out she's been cheating on me a LOT since September. In the transcript, she talks of having sex with a guy in her office on many occasions, and how she didn't even feel guilty or any bad feelings about it so just carried on before breaking up with me properly in March (bull**** reasons of course and got the 'let's be friends crap). She EVEN bought his car for me as a birthday present while she was cheating on me with him, THANKS(!). Now I realise that confronting her an screaming and shouting will have no effect, she has moved on and is well infatuated with new guy. So i am going to send this transcript which is full of her admittance to cheating many times, no remorse for it, LOTS of slutty stuff about blow jobs etc - to her office work mates instead - I know a lot of you are gonna advise me not to do it and take the high road of silence and dignity, but I loved this woman every day for seven years, I think she thinks I'm too nice, but she cheated on me so much and doesnt even feel bad about it! So i am incined not to listen but I am open to your advice!
twicebitten Posted April 13, 2009 Posted April 13, 2009 ... I KNOW you don't wanna hear this, BUT my ex sent a spiteful, horrid emails to my literary agent AND my ex-husband last week (eventhough HE broke up with me... sort of) and I can tell you 1st hand that YES it was humiliating & hurtful, but also against the law!! The PD has contacted him and is arresting him if he makes one more contact/attempt! Soooo, I would STRONGLY advise against this ... you could get into legal trouble and end up looking like a complete disgruntled-ass just out for revenge!! Take the HIGH-ROAD ... it will be sooo worth it & SAVE your DIGNITY, as well!! XO - TB -
Author sexibanez Posted April 13, 2009 Author Posted April 13, 2009 well it's on my laptop which is my property, i am not sending spiteful or hurtful comments (bar 1 at the very end), i am simply sending an email with her msn conversation inside. surely that can't be illegal - i'm in the UK
LostFocus Posted April 13, 2009 Posted April 13, 2009 I am against the idea but whatever brings you closure. I am not sure why you want to start drama. I hate drama and dislike being involved in it. I am not sure about it being illegal but it's always a possibility.
CailinPig Posted April 13, 2009 Posted April 13, 2009 Hmm, tricky one. I mean, if your ex had been a decent person and you wanted to send this stuff around, then I'd say no - just cos you fall out of love with someone doesn't mean you warrant humiliation. But that said, this woman cheated on you and then said in the conversations she didn't even feel bad about it!!! What the hell kind of monster is she??? I still wouldn't be too sure about humiliating someone in a sexual way though - it might have more of an impact on someone than you might believe - particularly on a woman. So at the end of the day, I'd advise you not to do this, but if you wanna take another kind of revenge, thats ok. Sexual humiliation?? I would seriously feel like I'd been molested myself if someone sent that kind of info about me, and thats not something you wanna make anyone feel like, no matter what they've done. That could scar someone and ruin very relatiosnhip they have. Think of something else to do.
D-Lish Posted April 13, 2009 Posted April 13, 2009 well it's on my laptop which is my property, i am not sending spiteful or hurtful comments (bar 1 at the very end), i am simply sending an email with her msn conversation inside. surely that can't be illegal - i'm in the UK I'm pretty sure you have a law against Slander in the UK. As much as the lap top is your property- her MSN domain is her property. You could very well get yourself in a heap of trouble. (If you send it- I hope you do get in trouble). People will also forever see you as the bad guy for doing this. I think you're pretty crappy for doing it. If you're capable of doing something like this, perhaps she left you for a reason.
marlena Posted April 13, 2009 Posted April 13, 2009 (If you send it- I hope you do get in trouble). As much as I understand your pain, if you stoop to her level, then, you are just as bad as she is. So, yes, I do hope you get into trouble if you go ahead with this spiteful plan of yours. I think you're pretty crappy for doing it. If you're capable of doing something like this, perhaps she left you for a reason. Ditto on this, too.
gavinus Posted April 13, 2009 Posted April 13, 2009 I understand you are hurting. I understand your need for revenge and the rage you feel, but revenge will not bring her back or change things. My advice is delete what you have got and go NC. If you want you could tell her how much she has hurt you, then delete it and then go NC. She may regret losing you IF you do the right thing. If you be like her, she will regret nothing. If you do the wrong thing, in time that will get to you. Be strong, sometimes the right thing is the hardest thing to do, but then you are not doing the right thing for her...you are doing it for yourself!
TaraMaiden Posted April 13, 2009 Posted April 13, 2009 well it's on my laptop which is my property, i am not sending spiteful or hurtful comments (bar 1 at the very end), i am simply sending an email with her msn conversation inside. surely that can't be illegal - i'm in the UK yes it is illegal, even in the uk. It forms part of the intellectual property and data protection act. if it is on your computer it is no different because even though the computer is your property, "intellectually" her messages were not to you, they were to someone else. So they do not belong to you, and you have no legal right to publish. You know, all you have to do is search the internet. make sure you have UK pages only, but you will see, I am right. how do you think I know the above?
Author sexibanez Posted April 13, 2009 Author Posted April 13, 2009 We were together for seven years. I found out she even bought me the car which belonged to the guy she was cheating with - as a christmas present! Thanks babe!!! I have decided to send this anyway - but just to her so she knows that I know EVERYTHING. She's very lucky you guys stopped me from executing my original plan. I dunno how I feel .
TaraMaiden Posted April 13, 2009 Posted April 13, 2009 My cousin was with her husband for 10 years before she discovered many dreadful things about him. I cannot and will not say, but it makes your problem seem insignificant. I am sorry, but it does. You need to move on. If you remain with your feet planted in 7 years, then you will never move into the next seven with anything other than bitterness and resentment in your heart, which is a dreadful wound to inflict on your self. Of all these seven years, only the final period was bad, wasn't it? so don't look at the seven years all together. But know that you can get over the bad period, in the same time or less, that it happened.....
Author sexibanez Posted April 13, 2009 Author Posted April 13, 2009 I'm well aware that in the great scheme of things, this may seem insignificant and people have worse problems, but its the most traumatic experience of my life so far.
TaraMaiden Posted April 13, 2009 Posted April 13, 2009 Then I will pray that it's the worst you ever will have, in comparison to anything else you may experience.
hopesndreams Posted April 13, 2009 Posted April 13, 2009 I thought what the hell, she's put me through hell let's at least see what her mindset is like (to check if I had a chance of getting back together). At least with what you have read and found out there are no what ifs and maybes about getting back together with her, right? And that is a blessing. but its the most traumatic experience of my life so far. Because it is traumatic! You were with her for seven years and you find out all that horrible stuff that she's done to you! And if it makes you feel better to send that stuff back to her and letting her know you know, go right ahead. She might feel shamed for knowing that you know. Serves her right. Then you must go NC.
openbook08 Posted April 13, 2009 Posted April 13, 2009 i kinda laughed a little ill admit it cos i know how youre feeling BUT (its prob cos i had a LOT of wodka this weekend ) im with the other posters on this. it will end up backfiring on you & youll be the bad guy. trust me youll get your revenge, more than likely you wont even realise youve gotten it because youll be too busy living a happy fulfilling life for schit like this. in the meantime start putting yourself first and looking out for no. 1. lets just chalk this down to a moment of the breakup crazies!
twicebitten Posted April 14, 2009 Posted April 14, 2009 I agree with you!!! I know that my ex's emails to my agent, ex-husband, etc., has had a HUGE impact on me & my ability to ever trust myself, actions & others again!! I feel completely 'violated'!! I DO understand that SHE cheated, but sending her personal 'dirt' to co-workers is just wrong!! Yes, maybe send them ALL to HER to let her know that she's not pulled the wool over your eyes .. believe me, that will humiliate her enough! But public humiliation is ... beyond words! Take care! -TB-
Lishy Posted April 14, 2009 Posted April 14, 2009 I go against what everyone has said and say go with your original plan! She treated you like crap and humiliated you, show her how it feels!!
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