Scorpio13c Posted April 13, 2009 Posted April 13, 2009 Anyone have any knowledge or thoughts and/or experiences with women maybe using them on us guys? How do you handle it?
peteyj Posted April 13, 2009 Posted April 13, 2009 Who the hell cares. Most people, male of female, who force themselves to follow some rules by the book are normally people who continue to have the same damn problems over and over. Nobody wants to date a person who is nothing more than repeated phrases. Yes there are certain things you should do and shouldn't do but there are just too many naive people following a bunch of scam artists looking to make a book about 'the rules.' It is what it is. Walk up to girl, talk to girl, girl talks to you or not, get number or not, start dating, the rest is up to you. Whatever the hell you do who the hell cares. You shouldn't ask to marry somebody after 1 or 2 dates and you shouldn't be too clingy, but if all you are is some rule book without any persona of your own, what are you really? There really are no rules. Yeah certain things you should follow, but everybody is different. Some people like clingy. Some people are unemotional. Some people are one nighters. Some people are always in relationships. You need to know who you are and find out what kind of person they are. If all you do is follow what somebody else tells you then you never know who you are and you probably never get to know who they are. And what the hell is the point of that?
Author Scorpio13c Posted April 13, 2009 Author Posted April 13, 2009 This is more of what I was questioning: [sIZE=2][COLOR=#cc00ff][COLOR=#000000]General Dating Rules[/COLOR][/COLOR][/sIZE] [sIZE=2]Always look great, whatever your income. Gorgeous hair and some lipstick and wearing rags will still turn his head. You have the advantage, you are the woman. Look your best as you could meet a potential Mr. Right anywhere at any time.[/sIZE][sIZE=2]Never reveal information you don't have to. An enigmatic woman drives men wild.[/sIZE][sIZE=2]Keep dates brief but your men interested. Less is always more.[/sIZE][sIZE=2]Try and stay in shape and involve some fitness regime at a gym. However much you hate it, your Mr. Right loves your body as much as your mind.[/sIZE][sIZE=2]Let your man pay. If he is interested, he is interested enough to ensure you eat well and get home safely in a cab.[/sIZE][sIZE=2]Ensure you receive flowers, if he doesn't know what a florist is, dump him.[/sIZE][sIZE=2]Never ever sleep with a guy until he has fallen for you. Sex early in your dating game plan will ruin everything.[/sIZE][sIZE=2]Always keep a guy waiting and never turn up early. It is a lady's perogative.[/sIZE][sIZE=2]Never be available when he wants you to be. Never be at the end of a phone when he calls and always let him leave a message or two first before replying.[/sIZE][sIZE=2]If he is available Tuesday, you are available Thursday.[/sIZE][sIZE=2]Weekend shopping trips with girlfriends are sacred and not available for dates.[/sIZE][sIZE=2]Keep your man standing on quicksand by shifting landmarks and goalposts constantly.[/sIZE][sIZE=2]Ensure you are a good kisser. Men will walk away if you cannot kiss. Practise on a mirror if you have to.[/sIZE][sIZE=2]Never ever talk about previous boyfriends and particularly their prowess in the bedroom. The number of ex boyfriends is your business only.[/sIZE][sIZE=2]Never pre suppose anything about your date until you choose to know him better. You cannot always tell by looking[/sIZE][sIZE=2]If any man shows the slightest signs of possessiveness or insecurity run like the wind. Life is too short for boys.[/sIZE][sIZE=2]If his shoes or hygiene are a disgrace dump him[/sIZE][sIZE=2]Never talk too much about your father and how your date measures up in comparison.[/sIZE][sIZE=2]Never ever come across as too available or too desperate, he will run a mile. He is the one doing the chasing remember.[/sIZE][sIZE=2]If the guy in the corner is gorgeous go and get him and create the need in him for you. Never wait for men to come to you because you may watch him leave with someone else.[/sIZE][sIZE=2]You may well have all the bodily functions of a man, just try not to demonstrate them early on.[/sIZE][sIZE=2]If you are wanting a child, don't mention it on the first few dates.[/sIZE][sIZE=2]Never ever criticize his mother unless you want to remain single.[/sIZE][sIZE=2][COLOR=#cc00ff][COLOR=#000000]Online Dating Rules[/COLOR][/COLOR][/sIZE] [sIZE=2]Always let them come to you, don't chase via email[/sIZE][sIZE=2]Block anyone who annoys you instantly[/sIZE][sIZE=2]Place the best & most vampish photo up you can find[/sIZE][sIZE=2]Don't reply to instant messages with clever opening lines[/sIZE][sIZE=2]Remain aloof and let yourself be chased[/sIZE][sIZE=2]Always reply to emails at least 3 days after receipt[/sIZE][sIZE=2]Never provide you true email or phone details to the man[/sIZE][sIZE=2]Always date safely and protect yourself at every turn[/sIZE][sIZE=2]Make sure your login name is stunning and sexy as well as enigmatic[/sIZE][sIZE=2]Do not login for hours on end. Short, rapid visits are best[/sIZE][sIZE=2]Do not assume the man you are talking to is destitute or sad[/sIZE][sIZE=2]Never ever reply to emails at weekends, wait until a weekday[/sIZE][sIZE=2]Never state how good your sexual performance is in your profile[/sIZE][sIZE=2]If you don't want to date married men spell it out in your profile[/sIZE][sIZE=2]A man who doesn't reply to your email within 3 days should be ignored[/sIZE][sIZE=2]Make sure your humor levels come across in text[/sIZE][sIZE=2]Do not chat to hundreds of men at once, the delay in replying is a dead giveaway and your Mr. Right will be off.[/sIZE][sIZE=2]Don't even think about misrepresenting your size or description. They will find out.[/sIZE][sIZE=2]Come across as cool and sophisticated for best results[/sIZE][sIZE=2]Always remember ladies that you are a sexy desirable woman and the world is your oyster. Always let men do the chasing and always let yourself be the chooser. Always stay safe and never risk yourself for the sake of attending a date.[/sIZE]
Chicago_Guy Posted April 13, 2009 Posted April 13, 2009 Some of those rules make sense, but others are counter-productive. For example,"Never be available when he wants you to be. Never be at the end of a phone when he calls and always let him leave a message or two first before replying." I think most guys would assume that a woman isn't interested if she never answers the phone when he calls and requires him to leave a couple messages before she replies. I also object to "Always keep a guy waiting and never turn up early. It is a lady's perogative." Being chronically late is not attractive at all!
D-Lish Posted April 13, 2009 Posted April 13, 2009 The book that you speak of is a little antiquated. There are some rules that I agree with and others that are silly. There is also that book "why men love bitches" that a lot of women have read. It has an element of "the rules" in it- but it's a little more modern. The premise isn't to be a "bitch"- it's just a catchy title. It's really more about how to date with self respect, not to be a doormat, etc. It also talks about some of the basics from the rules. Don't sleep with a man right away, don't be the first to call him, to make sure you remain fit and healthy in body and mind to keep him interested. It's not at all being mean to get what you want- it's about respecting yourself. Personally I'd never make a guy I was interested in call me twice before calling him back, but after a date I will never be the first one to call him. Why, do you think someone is playing games with you?
monkey00 Posted April 13, 2009 Posted April 13, 2009 I've never heard of such rules. Is there an underground secret society of women that live by this so called 'book'? lol Some on that list should be common sense to people that are dating. But every other thing on that list looks like it was created by a high maintenance girl interested in playing games.
D-Lish Posted April 13, 2009 Posted April 13, 2009 I've never heard of such rules. Is there an underground secret society of women that live by this so called 'book'? lol Some on that list should be common sense to people that are dating. But every other thing on that list looks like it was created by a high maintenance girl interested in playing games. It's a book that has been on the scene for ages..... That's why some of the so-called rules are antiquated and silly.
confused_2008 Posted April 13, 2009 Posted April 13, 2009 "Never be available when he wants you to be. Never be at the end of a phone when he calls and always let him leave a message or two first before replying." There's a big difference between having a life so you are busy and miss a call, and sitting on the couch letting your phone go to VM because you want to "seem" busy. Also, in the early stages, unless I'm really into the girl, I won't call more than once without a response. I figure she's playing games or not interested enough to call back. Both are valid reasons to move on. If he is available Tuesday, you are available Thursday. Why would you intentionally make scheduling a date more difficult?
Trialbyfire Posted April 13, 2009 Posted April 13, 2009 I always laugh at rule books. Draw your own boundaries, ones that suit your personality. If someone doesn't treat you the way you need to be treated, move on.
sand26 Posted April 13, 2009 Posted April 13, 2009 "The Rules" are for followers that need others to tell them what they should want and what is "acceptable". Sad sad games some play. Be yourself and have fun, those are my only rules. the mfk
dsuhiti Posted April 13, 2009 Posted April 13, 2009 WOW, those rules are ridiculous. If a woman did half of those things to me, I wouldn't think a minute about leaving her! Sounds like it was written by a female with a 'women-are-the-best' attitude.
Woggle Posted April 13, 2009 Posted April 13, 2009 95% of dating books directed at both genders are pretty much BS. Just be yourself and live your life and you should meet the right person naturally.
annsumm Posted April 13, 2009 Posted April 13, 2009 Ive read this book and it is a bit old fashioned and cruel. There are only a handful of the tips that I would take on board but these are more common sense than anything else. We all lead busy lives and sometimes have to bend rules for a relationship to move forward. I thinkit makes more sense to go with your gut feelings with guys.
JohnnyBlaze Posted April 13, 2009 Posted April 13, 2009 So many of those 'rules' made me want to just bang my head against a wall; they're just that asinine. For some of them (mainly the unavailability ones), they might get a walk the first time or two (as sometimes, it really is just a case of bad timing), but if it happens 2-3 times in a row, then I walk. Give me a wrong number or play princess and wait for me to dote on you hand and foot? It's not gonna happen. If I found a chick pulling half of those stunts, I'd be off faster than a cheap prom dress.
bac Posted April 13, 2009 Posted April 13, 2009 I have read that the most important rule to have sex with a man for the first time after 5 dates. It is written that if you break this rule a man will never consider you as a GF because he will believe that you are promiscuous. Guys, is it true?
Lizzie60 Posted April 13, 2009 Posted April 13, 2009 Too many rules are ridiculous.. I have ONLY ONE rule.. which is.. 'It's my way or the highway'
JohnnyBlaze Posted April 13, 2009 Posted April 13, 2009 I have read that the most important rule to have sex with a man for the first time after 5 dates. It is written that if you break this rule a man will never consider you as a GF because he will believe that you are promiscuous. Guys, is it true? I don't know about 5 dates specifically, but it's like anything else; get too eager about one thing and you do get typecast. Think of the reverse. If a guy picks you up in a bar and manages to sleep with you on the first night, what would you think? Would you think that he wanted a loving, lasting relationship, or would you think that he just wanted to see your butt in his bed and your panties on his floor? It's not a "never", though. Very few things in life are an absolute "never". Some don't even flinch at sex on a first date, while some condemn you if you have sex at all before marriage. A lot of it depends on the guy and how far you think things may go with this one. Personally, I like to take my time with a girl, but that's just me. Strangely enough (for a guy, anyway), I prefer my sex to be with women I care about.
serial muse Posted April 13, 2009 Posted April 13, 2009 Geez, I hope nobody's paying much attention to that book anymore. Aside from its utter annoyingness, one of the authors actually got divorced a few years back, to much hoo-ha. It's just the flip side of the Game. All of these books are basically designed to earn the authors much dough. I agree with this: 95% of dating books directed at both genders are pretty much BS. Just be yourself and live your life and you should meet the right person naturally.
Trialbyfire Posted April 13, 2009 Posted April 13, 2009 I don't know about 5 dates specifically, but it's like anything else; get too eager about one thing and you do get typecast. Think of the reverse. If a guy picks you up in a bar and manages to sleep with you on the first night, what would you think? Would you think that he wanted a loving, lasting relationship, or would you think that he just wanted to see your butt in his bed and your panties on his floor? It's not a "never", though. Very few things in life are an absolute "never". Some don't even flinch at sex on a first date, while some condemn you if you have sex at all before marriage. A lot of it depends on the guy and how far you think things may go with this one. Personally, I like to take my time with a girl, but that's just me. Strangely enough (for a guy, anyway), I prefer my sex to be with women I care about. Rule books are intended to manipulate the outcome. The only problem is that when you've "hooked" and "caught" someone with a bunch of manipulative rules, how will you "keep" them interested, if it's not the person you really are? Also, once games begin, where do they end?
samspade Posted April 13, 2009 Posted April 13, 2009 In my opinion, most women will bend any rule for the right guy. Your task is to be the right guy.
Trialbyfire Posted April 13, 2009 Posted April 13, 2009 In my opinion, most women will bend any rule for the right guy. Your task is to be the right guy. sam, nothing personal but you've hit on a pet peeve of mine. Guys who become the right guy, which isn't naturally who they are, so when they start to relax, it's the worst experience.
Bluebird In My Heart Posted April 14, 2009 Posted April 14, 2009 Kind of embarrassed to admit it, but I do have one "rule" which is pretty unbreakable. Unless I am committed to a man, he should always be the first one to initiate contact. I won't make him wait to get back to him or anything like that, unless I am geniunely busy, even then I'll do everything I can to let him know. I wouldn't leave someone hanging, or anything like that. Come to think of it, I do have another "rule" - match the other person's interest level. If they aren't "giving" me anything, I'll hold back. On the other hand, if he is "giving" a lot and I'm into him, it's great, I'm totally there. Am I wrong in that "intiating contact" thing? I don't think I'm being wrong.
Bluebird In My Heart Posted April 14, 2009 Posted April 14, 2009 WOW, those rules are ridiculous. If a woman did half of those things to me, I wouldn't think a minute about leaving her! Sounds like it was written by a female with a 'women-are-the-best' attitude. To be honest, those rules, when followed to the letter look like they'd attract some very aggressive dudes, when you think about it. Looks like most other guys would walk.
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