eclipseIDE Posted April 12, 2009 Posted April 12, 2009 Well my ex of 10 years, called me a few days ago to tell me that she was dumped by her current boyfriend very harshly(my ex ended things harshly with me). She had a lot of resentment in her voice and told me that I should be happy because she is crushed now and that karma got her back for the way she dumped me. My reaction really surprised her. I told her that I was truly sorry to hear that and sorry to disappoint her but I didnt have any ill wishes towards her and I sincerely felt bad for her. My family thought this reaction was crazy because I was sympathetic towards her but thats not who I am.
oasis Posted April 13, 2009 Posted April 13, 2009 I think that you handled it pretty well. It showed class and a lack of bitterness on your part, which I am sure was something that she was expecting. It also shows that she no longer controls you emotions. I almost certain that the main reason why she called you, was because she was on a fishing expedition, in order to see if you were still pining for her. She is now hit with a double whammy. Her current breakup and your very, very cool and calm demeanor. Right now, she must feel like the biggest looser. And you should be proud of the way that you handled the situation. Good job!
westernxer Posted April 13, 2009 Posted April 13, 2009 Agreed. I think you showed a lot of class. Might make her feel worse that you're taking the high road, but it sounds like you've got a good grip on yourself.
Trimmer Posted April 13, 2009 Posted April 13, 2009 I almost certain that the main reason why she called you, was because she was on a fishing expedition, in order to see if you were still pining for her. Yes, and her resentment was a pre-emptive defense - maybe even a challenge - to see if you went off on her, which would have shown her that she still had some control over your emotions. Nice healthy, controlled response. Class act.
Chrome Barracuda Posted April 13, 2009 Posted April 13, 2009 I would have started laughing!!! lmao! What goes around comes around. But why is she calling you in the first place to gain your sympathy?
CailinPig Posted April 13, 2009 Posted April 13, 2009 I would've reacted the same way as the OP. I got dumped harshly too, but I still cared about the person and due to that, would not wish for them to hurt like that
D-Lish Posted April 13, 2009 Posted April 13, 2009 It just shows you have a lot of class. I don't ever see the point in being bitter when someone reaches out to you like that.
Author eclipseIDE Posted April 13, 2009 Author Posted April 13, 2009 thank you for the positive feedback, my sister called me a moron for handling it the way I did. I thought I took the high road. Also, no she doesnt want me back. I think she just wanted be to be an a%%hole to her so she could feel justified in how she ended things with me. I was proud of myself because its been over 2 years and Im still hurting so I didnt know how I would react if something like this ever happened. I even joked and told her yeah I think I know what youre going through right now. thanks again
Excellent Posted April 13, 2009 Posted April 13, 2009 I even joked and told her yeah I think I know what youre going through right now. I like that one. Not only did you show her some class, you also pretty much told her how you felt when she did that to you, but not in a bitter and angry tone. I would not be surprised if you hear from her again shortly.
Chrome Barracuda Posted April 13, 2009 Posted April 13, 2009 If she left you for that guy I dont see why was you being so nice about it. She didnt have any concern for your feelings when she left you, why should you care about what happened to her now? She got dumped. lol. happy days are here again. I would feel that way because i am the better choice and if she left me for a jerk off scumbag, it what she deserved because she knew going in what it was! She made a choice. You didnt need to take the call. You could have easily hung up on her.
Trialbyfire Posted April 13, 2009 Posted April 13, 2009 I would not be surprised if you hear from her again shortly.I agree with this. Just don't get suckered into being her emotional tampon or get back with her. She's already shown you her true colours. Fool me once...
kizik Posted April 13, 2009 Posted April 13, 2009 We all get dumped at some point. Those who wronged us are eventually wronged themselves. It doesn't sound, however, like your ex is particularly repentant for the way she treated you. Saying "I hope you're happy b/c now I've been dumped" is immature and angry. Don't listen to anything but an apology. Once you get it, accept it, but don't stay in contact. There is NO point in EVER talking to an ex.
Author eclipseIDE Posted April 14, 2009 Author Posted April 14, 2009 I agree with this. Just don't get suckered into being her emotional tampon or get back with her. She's already shown you her true colours. Fool me once... oh yeah, thats a big reason why Ive been single for the last couple years. just getting my head straight. its crazy how much of a different perspective you get on things when your mind is clear. I dont think she will be contacting me anytime soon anyway.
D-Lish Posted April 14, 2009 Posted April 14, 2009 I still think you handled it with class. What would being bitter or mean accomplish? You did take the high road, which I think is pretty noble.
Author eclipseIDE Posted April 15, 2009 Author Posted April 15, 2009 I still think you handled it with class. What would being bitter or mean accomplish? You did take the high road, which I think is pretty noble. thanks Im a little down today but it seems like people who do the noble thing are usually punished. Im not going to change the way I am though. I just hope I made some impression so she might think about the other persons feelings before lashing out.
BCCA Posted April 17, 2009 Posted April 17, 2009 thanks Im a little down today but it seems like people who do the noble thing are usually punished. Im not going to change the way I am though. I just hope I made some impression so she might think about the other persons feelings before lashing out. Dude, well done. That was classy, and dignified. Even if inside you can let out a little 'karma's a b***h', you dont do anyone any favors by rubbing it in. And if what goes around does come around, do you want someone doing that to you if the shoe was on the other foot? I agree, even if you dont particularly like who the person is anymore, being bitter and angry accomplishes nothing. Like I said, even if you laugh a little to yourself when you get off the phone, or do a silent fist pump in the air, saying anything mean just shows a lack of class and maturity. She also WANTED you to flip out, or laugh it up, because then she would feel justified for dumping you, AND know that youre still hooked. I loved the comment about the fishing expedition, thats so true. She could have called anyone, and she calls the guy that SHE dumped? Thats so nonsensical. Either way, well played. A wise man once told me: "When you take the high road, expect to walk alone".
Template Posted April 17, 2009 Posted April 17, 2009 I hope that if I'm ever confronted in a situation like yours, that I can strive for the class and maturity you displayed. Well done friend, well done! To me it sounds like she's trying trying to lay the blame on this failure on something, anything. She's probably sounding off to people "It's not me... I was perfect... It's his/hers fault", etc. People who can't can't responsibility for their own mistake are doomed to repeat them over and over again.
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