kgyula Posted April 12, 2009 Posted April 12, 2009 A never ever had such a strange dating experience... so, we established the day, the location, she seemed excited about the fact that we'll gonna go out for a walk. She showed several signs that she is waiting for this date (saying that she hope it won't rain, how am I gonna dress etc) so she gave CLEAR signs that she's expecting a great time toghether. (more about the pre-date activities here: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t184129/) and.... minutes passed and she didn't came... finally 20 minutes passsed and i thought it's time to go, and then i saw her arriving with a bus... she asked for my excuses because of being late, and said that she missed the bus + plus she had a terrible day + she wanted to warn me online that she had some problems but her internet connection was faulty (witch i know is real)... ( i received her message offline but opened my IM only after going home) she seemed very frustrated and angry because she was late and because she wasn't dressed properly for a long walk with me. so, we sat down on a bench and started to talk, about her problems and about other stuff as well. I even managed to make her laugh a few times... We talked for about 40-50 minutes, I asked her if a walk wouldn't calm her down, but she said that she is very sorry for being angry, and she doesn't want to ruin my day as well. So i didn't forced on her, I tolt her that "ok, well, then let's go" and I accompanied her for quite a distance, then let her took a taxi and go home...(cause i didn;t wanted to force anything) Before saying goodbye she asked if we could talk later online ? + she said that it would been a great idea if we would shared in the past our numbers, so that she could have worn me... so we changed phone numbers as well so that's it.... after this I called my friends and went out for a beer with them... so I sign in quite later in my IM account. She was still online, so we talked for sometime, then she went to bed ( it was around 1 am, and she works from 8).... she asked again if we could talk again tomorrow, but I tolt her that it's more then likely that I will not be online, so if she would like to talk with me she cand give me a call, or give me a text and i'll call her back... so... 1. while sitting and talking on the bench she suggested that we could go out another day (a day when she would ruin my day) 2. she seemed realy frustrated and angry but not on me.... so I wonder if besides the problems she mentioned she didn;t had any familly problems as well.... considering all this in one piece I REALLY DON"T know what to thing... ... but I am wondering between two alternatives... a. she changed her mind in the last minute and tought it's better to cancel the date.... but I wasn't online, so she considered that she's gotta come and tell me in person b. she really had a terrible day (maybe something in family life) so she just wasn't opened for a date... i guess if she calls me / texts me tomorrow, it's more likely that (b) is the right alternative... if not, i guess (a) is the truth...
voldigicam Posted April 12, 2009 Posted April 12, 2009 Maybe you're just overthinking. Invite her again and see what happens. If you like her. Much worse things just sort of happen! But if she's always a bit off, that's a hint.
SoulSearch_CO Posted April 13, 2009 Posted April 13, 2009 Sounds like she had a crappy day. The timing sucks, but what can you do? That's life. I'd proceed as normal.
D-Lish Posted April 13, 2009 Posted April 13, 2009 Truthfully I find the behaviour a little odd for a first date. Could be nerves, could be she had a bad day. I'd give it one more chance, but if she acts odd again or is complaining of problems- that is a red flag that drama is a hobby for her.
Author kgyula Posted April 13, 2009 Author Posted April 13, 2009 yes, I totally agree ... well, I'm sure I'll give it another chance, assuming that what happened yesterday wasn't her fault... the only puzzling things is that now I'm in a quite odd situation... - she was the one who made a mistake, so i guess some kind of action is required from her side too - but i'm the man, so i should initiate too... so i don't want to let her presume that I am completely off because what happened (and let her "walk away") ... neither I want to end up running after her
SpanksTheMonkey Posted April 13, 2009 Posted April 13, 2009 Well walking isn't much of a big date no offense but its not like you guys had planned on dinner and a opera or something to really plan or get into. I mean it was just a walk together I don't get her behavior to be honest but I'm going to go along with what others are saying and say maybe it was honesty a bad day...
Cosmo87 Posted April 14, 2009 Posted April 14, 2009 I sympathize with her! i have had horrible horrible days before, and you know what she might have just been unlucky and had one of those days the day of the date! I think you are overanalyzing it and i think you should text her and ask how she is doing. SHE WOULD NOT ASK FOR YOUR NUMBER IF SHE WASN'T INTERESTED!..Im sure if you dont contact her you will hear from her..but if i truly had a bad day it would be nice to hear from the guy..and considering how akward things ended im sure she feel a little odd herself now to contact you...so just do it, you WONT seem needy, desperate, clingy or throwing yourself out there, you'll just seem to be a nice guy whos interested in how shes doing after her bad day
Author kgyula Posted April 14, 2009 Author Posted April 14, 2009 I sympathize with her! i have had horrible horrible days before, and you know what she might have just been unlucky and had one of those days the day of the date! I think you are overanalyzing it and i think you should text her and ask how she is doing. SHE WOULD NOT ASK FOR YOUR NUMBER IF SHE WASN'T INTERESTED!..Im sure if you dont contact her you will hear from her..but if i truly had a bad day it would be nice to hear from the guy..and considering how akward things ended im sure she feel a little odd herself now to contact you...so just do it, you WONT seem needy, desperate, clingy or throwing yourself out there, you'll just seem to be a nice guy whos interested in how shes doing after her bad day well, that's what I exactly did. I waited a day and sent her a text message today in the morning asking how is she, how are things going, letting her know that we may talk in the evening and wishing her a great day... she replied telling me that she;s doing better know. then, I sign in the evening but didn't wrote her... and after around 20-30 minutes she initiated a conversation... we talked about different topics because i didn't wanted to ask her with my fist question "hey, when would you like to go out for another walk" I wanted to wait a bit until asking... but suddenly she tolt me that she's going "somewhare" tomorrow and she needs to wake up early in the morning so she's going to bed earlier... I asked her where... but she refused to tell me... Then, she tolt me, ok, talk to you tomorrow... so I tought it would be good to tell her the following: "I would preffer talking over the phone instead of the net, so after work, I'll call you..." There was no denny nor "ok, see you on the phone"... I really don't know, but i feel she's sending out quite confusing signals ... but what is really puzzleing is that after signing out I saw online activity on her profile...
IcemanJB Posted April 14, 2009 Posted April 14, 2009 I agree with the others - sounds like she just had a crappy day. She asked for your number! That's a pretty good sign. Go out with her again - but this time make it more "date-like"; i.e. dinner or a movie. Also, this is COMPLETELY random, but is your native language German?
BobSacamento Posted April 14, 2009 Posted April 14, 2009 Hey she showed up. Give her credit where credit is due. She must have liked you to do that.
Sephirothh Posted April 14, 2009 Posted April 14, 2009 interesting, first off don't ever make the mistake of putting herself above how you feel...here are some facts that you really need to look at. 1) she overhyped the date by making it look like it was going to be a good time and it turned out to be a bust 2) NEVER OVERLOOK the situation, she was late she knew about it for a while even though she was apologizing she was still late 3) she supposedly has alot of problems, is this fair to you to hear them when you first meet? red flag right there, in no way certain is she comfortable enough to tell you these problems when she just met you, she probably doesn't really care who she tells 4) confusing signals = confused girl = is it worth it? 5) i sense alot of BS here with the excuses and the internet connection but thats just me 6) DONT LISTEN TO PEOPLE TELLING YOU THAT THE NUMBER WAS A BIG DEAL AND THAT SHE MIGHT LIKE YOU, SHE COULD JUST BE APPEARING NICE. now some positives 1) she still wanted to talk to you after meeting you even if it was online 2) you did end up talking for a while on the bench you did make a girl who supposedly had a really bad day laugh so thats a plus 3) talking to 1am is always a good thing 4) she seems to respond back when you initiate SO what you should do is, even though this wasn't a big hit for a first date at least give her another chance but then again this is going to be like pulling teeth and in my honest opinion your going to have to be very patient with this one. waiting for her iniating the conversation was a good move, but how about letting her initiate the next date, don't even mention it until she does, then ur in....at least that will calm you down a bit and you guys can start it off on a clean slate again.
Cherished Posted April 14, 2009 Posted April 14, 2009 Well, she's not going to take you seriously with a "walking" date. Going for walks is something that buddies do. You need to ask her out to dinner, a real date where you're putting some effort and yes, a little cash. Then she sees you as date material and making the gesture.
BobSacamento Posted April 15, 2009 Posted April 15, 2009 Depending where you live a walking date could be what she wanted. I went on a walking date recently and it went very well. Granted it had been a frozen tundra for the past 5 months so just getting outside in fresh air was a blast. We ended up getting dinner and drinks after though.
D-Lish Posted April 15, 2009 Posted April 15, 2009 Well, she's not going to take you seriously with a "walking" date. Going for walks is something that buddies do. You need to ask her out to dinner, a real date where you're putting some effort and yes, a little cash. Then she sees you as date material and making the gesture. She was the one that asked for the walking date
Cosmo87 Posted April 15, 2009 Posted April 15, 2009 well, that's what I exactly did. I waited a day and sent her a text message today in the morning asking how is she, how are things going, letting her know that we may talk in the evening and wishing her a great day... she replied telling me that she;s doing better know. then, I sign in the evening but didn't wrote her... and after around 20-30 minutes she initiated a conversation... we talked about different topics because i didn't wanted to ask her with my fist question "hey, when would you like to go out for another walk" I wanted to wait a bit until asking... but suddenly she tolt me that she's going "somewhare" tomorrow and she needs to wake up early in the morning so she's going to bed earlier... I asked her where... but she refused to tell me... Then, she tolt me, ok, talk to you tomorrow... so I tought it would be good to tell her the following: "I would preffer talking over the phone instead of the net, so after work, I'll call you..." There was no denny nor "ok, see you on the phone"... I really don't know, but i feel she's sending out quite confusing signals ... but what is really puzzleing is that after signing out I saw online activity on her profile... well if i were you i would either do two things: 1.) wait for her to contact you again 2.) contact her and just ask her what shes doing this weekend personally if i were you and if you like the girl, then i would just ask her if she would like to re-do the date again, if she says no, then you can move on and stop pursuing her..but i dont see why she wouldn't want to go on a date again..she IS interested in you , she would NOT have initated contact if she wasn't..the last thing i would do when im not interested in a guy is contacting him online talking about various topics..i would avoid him..so like i said do either one of those two and let us know what happens
Cherished Posted April 15, 2009 Posted April 15, 2009 She was the one that asked for the walking date Oh, OK, sorry OP, she is definitely not interested in you in a romantic way. Sorry. Move on. She just wants to be friends.
era Posted April 15, 2009 Posted April 15, 2009 we talked about different topics because i didn't wanted to ask her with my fist question "hey, when would you like to go out for another walk" Why would you ask her that? You've ALREADY done the walk thing. Taking her out to dinner is the next logical step. Go for it.
SpanksTheMonkey Posted April 15, 2009 Posted April 15, 2009 Why would you ask her that? You've ALREADY done the walk thing. Taking her out to dinner is the next logical step. Go for it. I would have thought a marathon would be the next logical step after that much walking lol..
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