inPrismacolor Posted April 12, 2009 Posted April 12, 2009 I think this is what's happening to me.. I'm becoming "nobody's type" It's not that I have some weird personality or I'm repulsive, the vibe I get from most women is I'm totally cool.. but for someone else. But I already felt that going in. I feel like I'm talking to them already knowing I'm not their type, and they're not my type. It never was like this before.. I used to have a definite type I fell into, but now I don't. What do you do.. force it?? Just accept this is how it is?? Can you force yourself to become a "type"..
somedude81 Posted April 12, 2009 Posted April 12, 2009 Well as a woman, I never think about "types" or anything like that. What matters to me is how the guy will treat me and how sweet they are. If I were you, I would first try to be the girl's friend, and see where it goes from there. inPrismacolor, What ever you do do not fallow her advice. Becoming a girls friend is the worst thing you can do. You will get the pleasure of watching her hook up with other guys and then she will tell you all about it. They also don't give a damn about how sweet you can be. If what she said was the truth I should have had 10 or so girlfriends by now, not zero. You have to forget about types. All women want these same qualities in a man; confident, can make her laugh, brave, flirty, able to tease her and be a little mean. Be warned though. Knowing what women want is different from actually being able to be what they want. That's why I'm still single.
Taramere Posted April 12, 2009 Posted April 12, 2009 Perhaps you're afraid to flirt for fear of looking disrespecful or patronising. From a female perspective...things men can do that turn them from just some pleasant guy making conversation into someone who's giving off interesting vibes: Be a flirtatious, playful, fun friend. Try to be out in her company as part of a group, make sure you sit next to her rather than opposite - and don't be hesitant about it. Tease her and give her the impression that you find her cute. During conversation drop in a bit of innuendo...but sparingly. If she seems quite shy or reserved in her manner, find excuses to touch her fairly frequently, but keep it non-sexual. For example when you bring in some sexual innuendo, you could tell her she's blushing and touch her face - then start talking about something else. Find excuses to put your arm round her, and do it in a bold and confident manner (eg the music's a bit loud and you need to get right up close to hear what she's saying). It goes without saying that if she responds to any of this in an irritated manner you should switch your attentions elsewhere.....but at least give it a try with one of the girls you like. It doesn't matter how good looking a guy you are, or how good shape you're in....unless you take the initiative and flirt, you probably won't stir up romantic feelings. I don't know about the "be a little mean" suggestion. Other women can comment if they feel differently, but my view is that if you're getting along nicely with someone and they suddenly throw a bit of unprovoked unpleasantness in, it just has the cold shower effect and removes any trust and rapport that's been built up.
UCLAMike Posted April 12, 2009 Posted April 12, 2009 Well as a woman, I never think about "types" or anything like that. What matters to me is how the guy will treat me and how sweet they are. If I were you, I would first try to be the girl's friend, and see where it goes from there. i agree with somedude. this is the worst advice ever given to a man in ur position. she knows if she will date u within the first couple minutes she sees u.
single ape Posted April 12, 2009 Posted April 12, 2009 i agree with somedude. this is the worst advice ever given to a man in ur position. she knows if she will date u within the first couple minutes she sees u. that's so far from true it hurts the eyes to read..
somedude81 Posted April 12, 2009 Posted April 12, 2009 Perhaps you're afraid to flirt for fear of looking disrespecful or patronising. From a female perspective...things men can do that turn them from just some pleasant guy making conversation into someone who's giving off interesting vibes: Be a flirtatious, playful, fun friend. Try to be out in her company as part of a group, make sure you sit next to her rather than opposite - and don't be hesitant about it. Tease her and give her the impression that you find her cute. During conversation drop in a bit of innuendo...but sparingly. If she seems quite shy or reserved in her manner, find excuses to touch her fairly frequently, but keep it non-sexual. For example when you bring in some sexual innuendo, you could tell her she's blushing and touch her face - then start talking about something else. Find excuses to put your arm round her, and do it in a bold and confident manner (eg the music's a bit loud and you need to get right up close to hear what she's saying). It goes without saying that if she responds to any of this in an irritated manner you should switch your attentions elsewhere.....but at least give it a try with one of the girls you like. It doesn't matter how good looking a guy you are, or how good shape you're in....unless you take the initiative and flirt, you probably won't stir up romantic feelings. Good tips. It's all about being confident and not worrying about how she is going to react. I don't know about the "be a little mean" suggestion. Other women can comment if they feel differently, but my view is that if you're getting along nicely with someone and they suddenly throw a bit of unprovoked unpleasantness in, it just has the cold shower effect and removes any trust and rapport that's been built up. I said a little mean, meaning doing it in a playful way. Do or say something that makes her go "Hey!" or getting her to hit you or she calls you mean. The point is that she has to have fun when she's doing it. It shows that you're not a wussy nice guy.
HGP Posted April 12, 2009 Posted April 12, 2009 Be warned though. Knowing what women want is different from actually being able to be what they want. That's why I'm still single. Ain't that the truth! I'm in the same boat. Taramere: being a little mean may not the the best way to put it...how about good natured teasing. It's a big part of flirting and it's fun for both people.
Taramere Posted April 12, 2009 Posted April 12, 2009 I said a little mean, meaning doing it in a playful way. Do or say something that makes her go "Hey!" or getting her to hit you or she calls you mean. The point is that she has to have fun when she's doing it. It shows that you're not a wussy nice guy. Taramere: being a little mean may not the the best way to put it...how about good natured teasing. It's a big part of flirting and it's fun for both people. Ok, got you. As long as it's done affectionately rather than in a hostile manner intended to cause upset, I tend to think of that as just playful banter. When I think of "mean" I associate it with mean-minded, which is a bit different.
Els Posted April 18, 2009 Posted April 18, 2009 Don't ever force yourself to be what you're not! Say you get a girl by doing that. And the relationship goes on. Then what? Will you force yourself all your life? Or will the real you come out, and she realizes that you never were what she thought you were in the first place? I honestly think that in 99% of cases, there IS someone, or even more than one, for every different individual. It's all about going into it with wide eyes, an open mind, patience, and just having fun by yourself and with friends while you're at it.
You'reasian Posted April 18, 2009 Posted April 18, 2009 I think this is what's happening to me.. I'm becoming "nobody's type" It's not that I have some weird personality or I'm repulsive, the vibe I get from most women is I'm totally cool.. but for someone else. But I already felt that going in. I feel like I'm talking to them already knowing I'm not their type, and they're not my type. It never was like this before.. I used to have a definite type I fell into, but now I don't. What do you do.. force it?? Just accept this is how it is?? Can you force yourself to become a "type".. Sounds like you've got a good early warning detector. I've known fellas like you. - you don't attract the average girl - most of them pass you up; you attract some of the most extrodinary, coolest, hotest women out there on rare occasion. - you are a chameleon. You can move in and out of different venues, fit in just enough, but be a little different. - people will often pass you off as one type, because those are the features they see at the time. - you fit in everywhere, but nowhere lol
spookie Posted April 19, 2009 Posted April 19, 2009 What kind of "type" were you before? I think of type mostly in terms of physical characteristics. My type, for example, has a darker complexion, brown eyes, average height, and very broad shoulders. Beyond that, as someone already pointed out, everyone is looking for the same thing. Confident, smart, brave, can make her laugh, etc.
imani Posted April 19, 2009 Posted April 19, 2009 I think this is what's happening to me.. I'm becoming "nobody's type" It's not that I have some weird personality or I'm repulsive, the vibe I get from most women is I'm totally cool.. but for someone else. But I already felt that going in. I feel like I'm talking to them already knowing I'm not their type, and they're not my type. It never was like this before.. I used to have a definite type I fell into, but now I don't. What do you do.. force it?? Just accept this is how it is?? Can you force yourself to become a "type".. I feel that everyone is "some one's" type. Its like that saying of someone's junk being another person's treasure. For example, I could be sick and tired of dating a guy who I think is not right for me, but he can be better suited for the next woman. My "junk", her "treasure. Okay, "junk" is probably not the best word to use to describe men. Hopefully you all will get my point regardless.
lino Posted April 19, 2009 Posted April 19, 2009 I'm starting to feel the same way as you OP. I've never considered myself to be any sort of type but so far in my life I haven't gotten very far in terms of serious relationships. IMO, all the girls I've previously been involved with felt right to me and I thought that we made a good couple... obviously they didn't think that way
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