Aerorobyn Posted April 12, 2009 Posted April 12, 2009 I've been wanting to say something to my ex for the past 2-3 days. I restrained myself from doing so though. Today, on accident, I sent a text that I had saved to my drafts. I didn't mean to, seriously. But it happened after 13 days of NC. I was like "oh crap" when it sent. I wasn't setting myself up for disappointment though, because I was already 100% sure he would not respond at all. He did respond though...only with a brief, "Ok." I did not respond to this, and will not. Seriously though. I feel better. I feel that I said something I needed to say for some reason--for the past 3 days I've felt this way. What I basically told him was that I understand why things happen...and I really do. I truly, honestly understand why he ended things. Now, I have NO intentions on breaking NC again. I said the last thing I needed to say to him, and I feel better. If we ever speak again, it will be on his terms. Final answer.
lonelypiscesguy Posted April 12, 2009 Posted April 12, 2009 You poor thing. You really have it bad for him, don't you? I hope in some way it helped your healing. I know it goes. Today, I REALLY started missing my ex. Why does this have to be so difficult, Aero?
Author Aerorobyn Posted April 12, 2009 Author Posted April 12, 2009 Oh yeah, I do have it bad for him. But losing him isn't the end of the world. He wants me or he doesn't. I know it may sound bitter and harsh...but he's not gonna be able to do any better, even if he tried. It's just not in the cards for him. I really do think that final text message sent is going to help my healing process though. I'm glad I sent it...especially since it's something I've felt I needed to say for 3 days straight, ya know? I don't care if it "ruins my chances" of getting him back or not...it made me feel better, and that's all that matters. And I apologize for all of the threads I've been making lately. Hopefully they will die down soon, or at least be about something other than the ex.
Peter_pan Posted April 12, 2009 Posted April 12, 2009 it will probably help if you set your mind set to, "he isnt coming back" no matter what i do or say. obviously no one knows what the future holds but you cant be waiting around. so be happy and live life and all the rest will fall into place. i always think that nc is ok to break, as long as you are prepared for the worse or you already know that if they dont respond you dont dwell on it. and your not after a response you know?
EmperorR Posted April 12, 2009 Posted April 12, 2009 I did the same thing and it made me accept that its done its over she's not coming back now moving on with my life.
lonelypiscesguy Posted April 12, 2009 Posted April 12, 2009 Aerobyn, you can't seriously be considering what you were thinking about in your post in the "coping" thread! There are so many good men out there who will appreciate you for all that you are truly worth, it just doesn't seem like it right now. You have so much to live for and I know you know this, and I also know I don't know you from Adam, but talk to somebody if you're feeling this distraught. Please, PLEASE talk to somebody. The pain will subside! Be good to yourself and stop thinking that way! You seem like such a warm, sweet girl and you have so much to look forward to. I don't mean to be out of place here, but as a Pisces (sappy, I know!) I do care about people and you are scaring me.
Author Aerorobyn Posted April 12, 2009 Author Posted April 12, 2009 Peter, That is my mind set. I know for a fact that nothing I say or do will bring him back, which is why I broke NC. It was the last thing I wanted/needed to say to him, and I truly do feel a lot better since having sent it. I am not waiting around either...I can't do that. I miss everything we had, and everything I wanted us to have. But I also know (and knew it when we were together) that he isn't ready for The Real Thing yet. He's 21, but he really does have the mentality of a high school kid still...and I can't change that about him. He is who he is. Pisces, If you're referring to the "suicide" thing...I do consider it at times. There are times when I know I'm much better than doing something like that, but there are also times when I just want to end it all. I talk to people every day...on here, and in person...nothing seems to change anything in the long run though. To be honest though, I don't really care about having a man. I'm perfectly capable of standing on my own two feet alone, and I do enjoy the freedom. Though at times I do miss the love, affection, admiration, etc. But I can't do this anymore...all I ever seem to get/attract are the guys who are no good for me. They are usually my age, but once I get to know them better they have the mentality of a middle/high school boy, and I just can't do that. I have too many dreams in life to be with someone who is immature. I'm not looking for a guy, but if one comes along...he's gotta be a man (seriously a man, not a boy who thinks he's a man). I'm not putting myself in with another 20-21 year old guy again. Unless they can prove they're mature, which is doubtful.
lonelypiscesguy Posted April 12, 2009 Posted April 12, 2009 Look, like I said, I don't know you, but you seem like a very sweet girl and it sounds like you have so much going for you. You're just starting out in life and 10 years from now, I PROMISE, you'll look back and laugh at yourself for even thinking like that, as you gaze upon your true love (husband and kids?). Please don't talk like that, it breaks my heart. It will get better, sweetie.
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