sotired Posted April 13, 2009 Posted April 13, 2009 You are missing the point. HE DOESN'T WANT YOU AS A FRIEND. If he did, he would tell his girlfriend to back off. He probably thinks you are a nutjob as everyone here does. Leave the dude alone!
TaraMaiden Posted April 13, 2009 Posted April 13, 2009 I just want some advice on how to be friends with him again. Why is everone jumping down my throat about it I am not trying to hook up with him or anything I just don't want to lose a great friend because of his stupid girlfriend! OK. How to be a real friend to him? I will tell you. Leave him alone. Respect his privacy. Respect his girlfriend. She is not 'stupid'. she is with him and you are not. He thinks enough of her to be with her not you. He is not a great friend to you, because otherwise he would have made efforts to contact you. She is not controlling. I think you are tring to be.... Be a really good friend to him and walk out of his life forever. Sometimes, the most loving and friendly thing we can do for someone who means a lot to us is - to let them go completely.
Treasa Posted April 13, 2009 Posted April 13, 2009 I'd really like to find a way to stop them from getting married. They are supposed to get married in 2011 but I don't think they are good for each other. From what I hear he doesn't ever go out and party anymore and I have no idea if it's because she just won't let him or what. He's not the same she completely changed him and I think she has ruined his life in terms of friends. The best thing would be is if I could get them to break up. I have tried coming to terms with his girlfriend. i have sent her messages on myspace I have even texted her that I am sorry for what happened. She is being so stuck up though she won't even respond most of the time won't even give me a chance to talk to her or Dylan because she is that selfish. She is probably controlling him and never even lets him do anything. PLEASE stop being so controlling!! He is NOT your best friend anymore, and even if he were, you'd have NO RIGHT to break up their relationship or dictate who he should marry. You are not being a good friend. You are being controlling, insecure, obsessive, and a little psychotic. Seriously, if you care about this guy, leave him alone.
Lucky_One Posted April 13, 2009 Posted April 13, 2009 If I was her and the mistress was trying to apologize i would accept the apology and let them continue to be best friends. keep in mind he used to be my BEST FRIEND. she won't even accept my apology for what happened she acts like i did it without feeling bad at all and it's not true. i do feel bad about it and i would change the past if i could if it meant i could still be friends with him. she apparently doesn't know what its like to have true friends if she wont allow two best friends to continue to be best friends. You said he was your best friend. You said that Alicia was your best friend. You said that Alicia is your best friend. The only thing that I DO think is true here is that your ex-friend is best friends with his fiancee. Leave him and her alone. You look like a nutcase. The only way to regain any respect from them is to leave them alone.
LovieDove24 Posted April 13, 2009 Posted April 13, 2009 I wasn't trying to ruin their relationship I just thought he'd like to see a picture of his dog's puppy. Why is everyone acting like his girlfriend is so perfect she is a drama queen and she always drags me into it. Soooo drunkenly making out with him while they were in a relationship was, what? Going to bring them closer together? Consider the logic here, she had every right to drag you into it the moment you drunkenly seduced her boyfriend. If that part of the story was not there, if you had never tried to seduce him, then this WHOLE THING would take on a different perspective. But the fact still remains and every repeated contact you make to him is a threat because of your history with him. Please I know it seems as if we're all attacking you here but its just so painfully obvious that 1) What you did was wrong and 2) Own up to it and respectfully let him go.
paddington bear Posted April 13, 2009 Posted April 13, 2009 If I was her and the mistress was trying to apologize i would accept the apology and let them continue to be best friends. keep in mind he used to be my BEST FRIEND. she won't even accept my apology for what happened she acts like i did it without feeling bad at all and it's not true. i do feel bad about it and i would change the past if i could if it meant i could still be friends with him. she apparently doesn't know what its like to have true friends if she wont allow two best friends to continue to be best friends. The thing is...you crossed the line from 'best friends' into something else when you tried to seduce him, drunk or not, you made a move on him. Friends don't do that and unfortunately there's no going back from that. Once a sexual element has been introduced, it can't be taken back, why else would other people on here and in general get so worked up over someone they like kissing them? Because it means something, it's not a casual thing to be tossed aside, particularly in your circumstances. Look at it this way, you were the best friend, and if you'd remained so, maybe everything would now be fine. Now you made a move on the guy, he knows you want more than friendship (even if you're not admitting to yourself that's what you want, that is what you want, otherwise you wouldn't be getting so angry and jealous over this girl - believe me, I've been there myself, when you're genuinely friends with someone, and have no ulterior motive, who they have sex with, date etc doesn't bother you, unless that person is hurting your friend in some way). Anyway, by making a move on him, you've changed the dynamic of your friendship with him and it can't go back to the way it was before, girlfriend or no girlfriend, you've moved the goalposts. To expect her to allow a woman who a) who tried to seduce her man b) who obviously hates and resents her having this guy to be 'friends' with her boyfriend is ridiculous. I'm guessing if the shoe was on the other foot you would be exactly the same as her, "who does she think she is, trying to ruin our relationship, she says she only wants his friendship, but it's obvious that she wants him and is trying to split us up and that bitch is going down". I call it 'crazy lady' mode, when you get so emotionally overwhelmed by whatever situation you are in, that you don't act rationally or think rationally. Crazy lady does things that you would NEVER do, crazy lady says things that you would NEVER say, and I'm thinking the real you is locked in a closet somewhere and the crazy lady version of you has been freed and allowed to run wild. In a couple of months when you're not so emotionally involved with this situation you might be able to see your own actions a little more clearly. From an outside perspective, as other posters have said, to me, it seems you are purely motivated by jealousy, competition and love of this guy, 'friendship' is not really on the agenda at all. Thing is, we all get a bit crazy when we are 'crazy' about someone and there's no shame in admitting it, none of us are perfect, we do and say stupid things, I went totally nuts one night when a guy I was 'best friends' with and who had previously slept with dumped me for a horrible girl who had spend the whole night insulting me....and he still wanted her and not me. I called him up and screamed 'don't you DARE f*** her' - not my normal behaviour, but emotions were running high, and afterwards, when I'd calmed down I could see that it was pure jealousy on my part, why did he want this horrible girl, when he could have had lovely me, and by rejecting 'lovely me' I turned into a disgusting, screaming, crazy woman...which didn't do me any favours in his eyes, I might add. So, move on, be the bigger person in this situation, say to him "I realise I've been freaking both you and your girlfriend out, but it's only because I valued you in my life so much and it hurts that now things have changed between us because you have a girlfriend, I have to accept that things won't be the same between us again. I would love to still be friends and when and if you want to contact me or see me again, I would love to hear from you". And simply bow out, you're only hurting yourself over and over and over by trying to 'win' in this situation. He might gain some more respect for you when you stop calling and texting and so on and simply get on with your life and (yes it's sad) say goodbye to your friendship with him as it was.
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