ans562 Posted April 11, 2009 Posted April 11, 2009 I was dating a girl for about 3 months last year. It got serious pretty fast and I fell in love withe her. She had just broken up with her boyfirend of five years whom she had almost married when our "fling", "tryst", relationship(I don't even know what to call it now) began. Basicaly she told me that she wasn't ready for anything serious and that she felt that she couldn't be everything she wanted to be for me so we should not see each other anymore. It was long distance anyway so that made it a lot easier for this to happen. I told her she could be my friend, but I am now doubting my ability to do that and not get hurt. We have talked on and off for the past four months and I finally decided go NC on March 1st. It was working I was starting to feel better and like I could move on from the situation. Then she called me on April 1st and I stupidly answered the phone. I'm back where I was before. I guess what I really want to know is whether this is my fault or not. I always told myself that the next time I felt this way about a girl I would do all that I could to show her that I cared. The approach I took was to give her space and not try to put any pressure on her at all. She knew how I felt. Part of me feels like I have waited too long, like our moment has passed. For future reference I would like to know: was there anything else I could have done, or was her telling me she wasn't ready for a relationship the nail in the coffin end of story? Her ex is still around and I think she may be ready to give it another try.
carhill Posted April 11, 2009 Posted April 11, 2009 she told me that she wasn't ready for anything serious and that she felt that she couldn't be everything she wanted to be for me so we should not see each other anymore When a woman speaks negative words, believe her. Discontinue at that point. If she calls you in the future and you are otherwise uncommitted, simply ask her if she is ready for something serious and if she wants to explore that with you. Listen and accept.
Author ans562 Posted April 12, 2009 Author Posted April 12, 2009 Thanks Carhill. I know I can't call her anymore. The thought makes me really sad. I also don't think she will call me anymore either. The part that makes me the most sad is that I wish we could go back to being just friends and stay that way. She is someone I would have liked to always have as a friend.
Recommended Posts