paddington bear Posted April 11, 2009 Posted April 11, 2009 OK, so I have a plan...a cunning plan. You know if, for example you have all day to clean your apartment, it takes all day, you get distracted and so on and the task can go on for hours. However if you know you're only an hour, it takes only an hour. Bearing this in mind I thought "well, if I've got the rest of my life to meet the right man for me, it's going to take the rest of my life", so I put a time limit on it - the end of this month. I've simply decided in my head that somehow I am going to meet the right person for me by the end of this month, and that this might somehow change the vibes I'm giving out, prevent that lethargy and thinking well, there's always next week/next month/next year - if my month plan runs on into next month, that's fine, as this is all about changing my attitude. And having this plan in my head (I realise it is unlikely to work, but I'm pushing that thought aside!) has actually shifted something in me. I'm making sure I always look well even when popping out to buy milk. I had two occassions where I came in contact with men and where normally I wouldn't do anything more, I was thinking, gosh, well if I want something to happen within this month, I'd better do something so I invited both out to events - nothing came of either of these guys, but the simple fact that both agreed to come out, and maintained contact for a while, was a first for me, giving me a much-needed confidence boost. Now I would say that my only big problem is my utter uselessness at flirting. I feel somewhat embarrassed to flirt, as if everyone around, including the guy I'm flirting with is somehow noticing me not acting my normal self and is judging me, thinking I'm an idiot. But I have to get over that...somehow. I just feel like if I suddenly become this really flirty person everyone will wonder what on earth happened to me. And of course a true flirty person wouldn't be affected if the guy/girl didn't respond, as it's only a bit of fun that may or may not lead to something. I'm wary of flirting, of flinging myself at someone and then being rejected...any thoughts on how to get over this?? I read an article recently and it said something like 'when you think you're flirting, up the ante, double, nay treble the amount of flirting' otherwise it will go right over the head of the guy whose attention you're trying to get' so since I'm striking out most times in terms of getting any further than chatting to people or ending up friendzoned I reckon I need to flirt more, that I'm not registering as a sexual person. So, I'm wondering how much is too little, how much is too much with the flirting? Batting eyelashes too little? Grabbing the guy and saying "Wanna f***?" too much? I know everyone's different, but what in general would make a guy a) know for sure the girl is attracted to him b) feel confident enough about her being attracted to him to ask for her number or want to see her again. Freaking out as it's the 11th of April...time's a-running out! So all tips gratefully received. I shall keep all those interested informed as to how this plan works either it will be a great confidence-boost or I will feel terrible that yet again, even with effort on my part to get out there and flirt and try to meet people that nothing has happened...we shall see.
BobSacamento Posted April 11, 2009 Posted April 11, 2009 I think you have a good plan. Granted I would have picked a month with 31 days but whatever. I think it puts you in the mentality of evaluating every person you run into. And maybe you should do that and not let people just pass you by.
alphamale Posted April 11, 2009 Posted April 11, 2009 , but what in general would make a guy a) know for sure the girl is attracted to him jesus christ how many times have i covered this?!? here we go again: she makes a lot of eye contactshe smiles (a genuine smile not a fake one)she touchesshe pays attention to him and only himshe laughs at anything he says that is even remotely funnyshe plays with her hair and the stem/rim of her wine glassshe laughsshe sits so her whole body is facing himshe keeps the converstation intersting and lightshe drops hints about places she wants to go or things to doshe asks about his life, work, family, background, etc...she sits erect or leaning into him and juts her breasts out a bit
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