emptyme Posted April 11, 2009 Posted April 11, 2009 Do guys think there is a difference between obsessing over someone and loving someone. Wanting to know where you ex is at all times, mostly all day every day thinking of this person, plotting ideas to get this person back in your life..Willing to risk or do ANYTHING to have this person back..This is Obsession but does this mean that love does not Exist?? is this sick? is there a mental problem here?
trying123 Posted April 11, 2009 Posted April 11, 2009 everyone is like that for a time, for me it was always worried where she was so we wouldn't have to see each other, or me have to see her with another guy don't be so hard on yourself, people tend to idolize their ex after a break up and blame themselves for everything I promise your ex is not worth it once you think about it and you are better off without him or her as long as your really not stalking the person your fine, the dreams, though that will ruin your whole day, anyway go NC take up a new hobby, make new friends, go on dates, anything anything, you will be so happy once you realize that you are happy on your own, no feeling is better I promise
Author emptyme Posted April 11, 2009 Author Posted April 11, 2009 everyone is like that for a time, for me it was always worried where she was so we wouldn't have to see each other, or me have to see her with another guy don't be so hard on yourself, people tend to idolize their ex after a break up and blame themselves for everything I promise your ex is not worth it once you think about it and you are better off without him or her as long as your really not stalking the person your fine, the dreams, though that will ruin your whole day, anyway go NC take up a new hobby, make new friends, go on dates, anything anything, you will be so happy once you realize that you are happy on your own, no feeling is better I promise I wish it was that simple..There happens to be an entire situation behind this that i was going to post. This person has been in and out of my life for the past 7 years..And also is the father of my child who is now almost 2 years old..He left me about 8 months ago. I did the letter writting, texting, hate mail, love mail and now have been NC at all for about 2 months the best i know how. Its hard when we have to comminicate sometimes over our baby but im trying to keep it just at that. I want my family back. I love him and i think he hates me. Resents me for having a child he didnt want although now is an amazing father and loves her dearly..When we were good, we were the best..Its so hard becasue I KNOW that if we tried again - we would be so happy. I know he has love for me but there are SO many issues i wouldnt know ehere to start..All i know is that I miss him. Its been 8 months and i still cry all the time. He told me a while ago that he doesnt want any comminication with me besides our daughter becasue then he cant move on..So im trying to do that...Time is going by now and im scared that if i dont do something now, it may be too late..I dont know if i should go to him again, be real and really try..
trying123 Posted April 11, 2009 Posted April 11, 2009 Sorry I had no idea, I know it sucks but you are doing the right thing. For any way to make this work again, he has to realize what he is missing out on. You can show your strength by going as NC as possible if you understand that some of it was your fault be honest, I just broke up with my ex, I am 99.999% out of the relationship, however, if she would realize that the relationship ending was her fault as well, I probably would give it a shot. But you do not need to barrage him with e-mail, one will suffice, but go NC soon after also see a councilor, you can't do it on your own, I saw a social worker about this very same girl, it helped tremendously I promise it really helped by talking it out and understanding what happened. you have to be strong for yourself, I hope that helps
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