He's... different

[xpaperxcutx]

I recently met a friend online named J and one thing that struck me about him was how blunt he was towards people and things in general. From the minute we started chatting he made it clear he was very straight forward about things and he would npt put himself in a position to actually care about how others see him. I took what he said at face value because he was still a complete stranger to me and I wasn't going to challenge his character/persona.

 

Of course, we both think we match personality wise. In total contrast to his frankness, I also notice he was laid back as a person and more often than not,silly. He tends to write and say things that make me laugh aloud in the middle of the night and send me music videos that I come to love on the first listen. Basically our nightly conversations end up being a mass exchange of music links and inside jokes mixed with a hint of sexual innuendoes.

 

The only uneasiness that hang in the air between the two of us is that we both don't have any inkling of what the other look like. At one point we had exchange pictures but it had been a while back coupled with lack of interests to actually establish any type of connection ( We had both since agreed to anonymity with regards to what each other look like).

It had only been these last week and a half that we actually put in the effort to ask about one another. Hence the problem.

 

He's becoming someone who I can talk to without receiving any backlash from and we share secrets and thoughts about things we normally would not discuss to people in our lives. I've grown very comfortable with him albeit online, and I don't want to see our current condition change. He has mentioned he was developing a crush on me, one which I laughed off as being nonsensical. I'm impartial to developing feelings for anyone online and his confession has since confused the living H%ll out of me. Am I maybe developing a little crush of my own? I don't see the likelihood of anthing coming to fruition especially because of our distance ( I'm in NY, he's in CT). Yet at the same time I'm a bit frightened I won't be able to be the same mellow person that had talked to him before. I am considering abandoning the idea of continuing chatting with him.

 

Please give me any insights and criticisms

[TigerCub]

I'm not really sure what the problem is. I'm actually surprised that you're surprised at his developing feelings because it seems to me that although you guys don't have a physical thing going, you're developing a strong emotional connection (the sharing of secrets, the joking, the sense of ease in telling each other intimate details of your lives), and that's not such a bad thing.

 

I have a friend who lives in Ottawa and he started out just online chatting with a guy in Pittsburgh and their relationship developed that way, and they made it work, so these things happen.

 

If you're thinking that you're developing a crush on him as well, I don't see what the problem is, just keep having your chats and see where things go.

[xpaperxcutx]

I'm not really sure what the problem is. I'm actually surprised that you're surprised at his developing feelings because it seems to me that although you guys don't have a physical thing going, you're developing a strong emotional connection (the sharing of secrets, the joking, the sense of ease in telling each other intimate details of your lives), and that's not such a bad thing.

 

I have a friend who lives in Ottawa and he started out just online chatting with a guy in Pittsburgh and their relationship developed that way, and they made it work, so these things happen.

 

If you're thinking that you're developing a crush on him as well, I don't see what the problem is, just keep having your chats and see where things go.

 

TC the problem is I don't think having a crush on him would be an answer. As I've mentioned he's different. I should have emphasized his total lack of respect for others when he resorts to his blunt statements and reasoning. I picture him too obstinate of a person to really listen to others. He mentioned he had a preference to doing things his way.