Chris78 Posted April 10, 2009 Posted April 10, 2009 hey this is my first post im a 28yo male, i have been with my 27yo partner for 13yrs. We are high school sweet hearts we have been together since we were 15, and a funny thing is she actually for my 16th birthday let me be her boyfriend...lol! But things have been good we have a very very strong friendship that is a strong bond in our relationship. She has 2 masters and is finishing up her phd in psych. After her first masters she decided to move to chicago we r originally from ohio, i really did not want to go but i loved her we were together for about 7-8 years at that time so i went we have been here for 5.5 yrs. She aquired her 2 masters and began on her psyd (basically a phd) in order to complete her phd she had to do a internship, we traveled all over the country for her to interview she finally got placed back in ohio, we started another life when we got to chicago the money was good and we were paying a ton of rent so we bought a house together we were in our house about 1.5yrs before she had to leave for internship. So she went to ohio and i stayed here she was only going to be gone for 1 year so we thought we could do it. I am a mechanic and i have not always been the most tidy person she has always done the cleaning and i always in hind sight now realize i always neglected to help out so shes in ohio and comes to visit this past weekend and i had a feeling something was amiss due to the past 2 weeks she has been withdrawn from me not talking on the phone not ending our calls with i love u, so she came and i didnt have the house totally clean so she cleaned the house and it totally sparked a big fight and i flew off the handle and she left 2 days early i spoke to her this past sunday and she told me i make a great best friend but a ****ty partner and that it was over that she didnt love me anymore. And i reacted the same way you think i love this woman with all my heart i balled like a baby i begged i pleaded and she just replied with that is how she felt all the times she was cleaning by herself and grocery shopping by herself. In 13 years we have only been seperated for 1-2 days. I dont know what to do i offered to go to counseling and she just replied she doesnt love me anymore and that if i want to make her happy i will stop calling and texting her i really am lost i dont know what to do......... Thinking of trying a 180 but dont think it will work since she is 400 miles away and wont talk to me
Darkness7 Posted April 11, 2009 Posted April 11, 2009 I'm really sorry to hear you are going through this. As difficult as it might seem, I think giving her some space is the only thing that will have a positive outcome at the moment. Go NC with her, don't call her, don't text her, don't email her...pretend like you've dropped off the face of the earth. If she contacts you, then you decide if you will ping back or not, but never initiate contact. That way she will see that you are being 'strong' and that you are respecting that she wants to be left alone by you at the moment. Give her some time to see what life is like without you and give her a chance to miss you and being together with you. She won't be able to see what life is like without you and if she truly misses you if you're still always 'there.' If it's meant to be, she will miss you and want to come back to you. Good luck, mate.
openbook08 Posted April 11, 2009 Posted April 11, 2009 ((hugs)) for you chris78 just to reiterate everything darkness7 said, give her the space she wants now. it will be difficult but come here and post your feelings & vent let it all out...just not to her. use the space for the good of yourself also. get out of the house get some exercise, read some good books, listen to music,watch some movies you wanna see, visit friends, go out for dinner, take up a new hobby. 13years is a long time but shes not gonna miss you if youre there crying in her ear. be strong now. XX hang in there.
Author Chris78 Posted April 11, 2009 Author Posted April 11, 2009 Thanks for replying ive got some books to read and am trying to work on myself i really hope she comes to realize that she misses me but i dont know what she is thinking.
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