Aerorobyn Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 It's been about 4 weeks since he broke up with me, and 13 days of NC between us. I know my ex well enough to know he will not break NC. He ended it, yes; but he will resume NC for as long as it takes, even if he really did want to contact me. I want to send him an email. I've been itching at this since yesterday, but I haven't done it. Nothing with "begging and pleading" in it...just an email to, I guess let him know that I'm not angry at him after our last talk 13 days ago. Yes, I want him back. And yes, I know if I send an email I will probably get seriously rejected (he'll either ignore it completely, or he'll respond with some crap about how he's moving on perfectly and I should do the same). But whether I send the email or not, I've got no chance of getting him back. He's made up his mind, I'm not what he wants anymore, and I will feel pain, hurt, and rejection no matter what I do--so why not just say what I have to say if I'm gonna hurt and feel pain either way? Oh yeah, I've also got a date on Tuesday. This guy and I are going to lunch. I really don't wanna do it...especially since we're supposed to be going to one of the places my ex and I used to go to a lot. Link to post Share on other sites
openbook08 Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 type it. save it in drafts. go on your date. enjoy it. JUST DONT SEND THAT EMAIL. now, go buy a new outfit!! and allow yourself to start living again:) Link to post Share on other sites
akklavi Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 It sounds like you're really missing him, and I know that's hard. But I have to agree with openbook08, honestly don't send that email!! It will simply show your desperation to him, make him think that you can't survive a mere 13 days without him. He will see through whatever reason you may give for writing to him. And it will just reduce your dignity and self-respect, in your own eyes, but sadly also in his. I know how you're feeling, I have been there, so many of us have...... But you can do this, not break the nc. If you think that writing will open the doors of communication, it really won't. 13 days is nothing - it feels like forever, but it isn't. Can I ask, what is it you really hope to achieve by writing to him? Sorry if I sound harsh, but sending that email would be such a mistake, and you are very quick to devalue your own dignity, and ready to take whatever is thrown at you, and that is not a good sign. Don't sell yourself short, we all deserve better than that! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Aerorobyn Posted April 10, 2009 Author Share Posted April 10, 2009 What do I hope to accomplish by writing him? Well, I guess I'd just like for him to know that I do not hate him, no where near it...because the last time we spoke, it was pretty mean and hurtful on his end. He said some things that hurt me, and he knew they would hurt me. After he said those things, I didn't even reply back--I just hung up on him, and that's when NC began. But I don't hate him, as much as he may think I do after the things he said. And maybe if he knew it, I may have a tad bit more of a chance in reconciling with him. But probably not... Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 Aerorobyn, while I don't believe in sticking to NC at all costs, I don't think you're ready to break it, since it's only been 13 days. Give it more time, at least a couple of months until you're strong enough to take some rejection. Don't send that email! Link to post Share on other sites
Bleeve Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 Write it up, don't send it. Wait a week or so and re-read it. You will probably be glad you didn't send it. I have like 5 e-mails I never sent and reading them now I am so glad I didn't. They read now as pathetic and would have just showed her that I was needy and lame. Link to post Share on other sites
akklavi Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 Aerorobyn, I completely see where you're coming from. You want to get him back, and you think there's a slim chance that if you send this email, he will see how kind and understanding you are, and think "oh maybe I made a mistake, let's try again". I hate to sound harsh, but it doesn't work like that. He wronged you by saying hurtful things. Now if you roll over and basically apologise for him - tell him that it's fine that he insults you, your feelings haven't been hurt etc... You're telling him that you place no value on yourself, whatsoever. And all he will see is that you're so desperate and needy for him, that you'll give up your self-respect just to get him back. And that level of neediness is deeply unattractive to anyone. Again I don't like to sound so hard, especially when I can imagine how much pain you're in, but please don't think that being a doormat will suddenly make you attractive to him again, as I can guarantee it will not. Honestly, don't devalue yourself, it will make you feel like crap and achieve nothing. Write on here instead! Link to post Share on other sites
EmperorR Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 I broke NC, but again i just needed to know stuff before I never contact her again. If your going to break NC, to make you feel better don't If your going to break NC, to play the sympathy card or burst out all your feelings don't. Link to post Share on other sites
emotionalwreck Posted April 13, 2009 Share Posted April 13, 2009 dont do it! I broke NC after only 5 days. I texted to ask for something back I had let him borrow. I really just wanted to see if he would talk to me or something. I got nothing. Now I feel even more rejected and have more questions going through my mind. I fight it everyday. I know 5 days wasnt long but now I have to start all over again. The worse part is I work with him and see him everyday. Hang in there I hope it gets better/easier for the both of us. Link to post Share on other sites
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