Katherine27 Posted April 10, 2009 Posted April 10, 2009 A friend of mine is in a very unhealthy relationship, with a total jerk. I can't even call it a relationship since he won't commit to her. She has been seeing him for 4 years and he refuses to give her a commitment. He calls her names like Slut, whore, etc. He doesn't treat her well, and I think he just uses her for sex. He won't commit, because he wants to keep his options open. He has never told her he loved her, even though she has told him, she loves him. She refuses to see the light. We went out last Saturday night and she was miserable. She had spent the day with him and it seemed obvious that they fought. They fight all the time. I work my butt off during the week, and look forward to the weekend, to go out and have fun. But because of her mood, that was impossible. And after I had a few drinks, I said some things. I went off about the situation, and told her I think she should move on. I basically told her "He's just not that into you" and told her I thought it was a totally unhealthy relationship. She had some words for me, and she has barely spoken to me all week, except for yesterday I texted her hello,and she said she didn't really have anything to say to me. I told her that I couldn't understand how she could be upset with me, for being concerned, but she will put up with being called a slut by him. wtf? I can't just stand by and ignore whats going on. No, it isn't my relationship, but don't I have a responsibility as a friend, to say something?
xpaperxcutx Posted April 10, 2009 Posted April 10, 2009 It's good to be a friend but you can't force the issue. You basically went ballistic on her while you were drunk, which makes you the irrational one. You could have easily sat her down and told her the truth. You can try patching up the relationship, but most people who date jerks won't see the reality of things until they find it for themselves. So the best thing you can do is tell her you'll always be her friend but you can't tolerate the bf's behaviour and attitude towards her.
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