sashatickles Posted April 10, 2009 Posted April 10, 2009 Hi I'm new this site, but I am glad that I found it. I am a novice dater and not very receptive or good at it. I recently dated a guy that I met at a dance. We hit it off really well and he asked me I wanted to go get something to eat or drink after the dance, I was hesitant, but I said o.k. Well after that first semi date, he asked me for a little kiss, I was a little shocked, but just gave him a peck. He then asked me for my phone number, I gave it to him, and as we were leaving, he called me and wanted to make sure I knew my way home and be safe. Well anyways, we went out a couple more times, the last time he got really touchy and kissing, in his car. I than said I had to go, he got out and opend the car door for me, and proceeded to get more kissing and touching, I said stop I have to go, he asked me if I was going to ask him in, I said no. he wanted to walk me to the door, but I said, no that's o.k. he said he would watch me until I got to the door, he did. He called the next day, we made small talk, then he asked me what I was doing next week, I am a very logical thinker, I proceeded to tell him, work and classes, it just didn't dawn on me that he was asking me out again. After that I didn't hear from him for four weeks, I thought it was over and I deleted his number from my cell. He called me when I was up in the mountains, no reception, and left a msg. He said he was in Palm Springs, and wanted to call me because he hadn't called, he was just saying hi, that he was thinking about me, than something weird in the msg, it was silent, like a pause, like someone was coaching him what to say. Then he changed his topic of speech, he proceeded to tell me that he felt ashamed, and that he didn't want to hurt me, he thought I was a really nice person and that he was really attracted to me, he kept say he didn't know. Then he ended the msg with you don't have to call only if you want to, he just wanted to tell me that he didn't not want to ever talk to me again, than he said, talk to you later talk to you soon. When I got home a day later, that afternoon I called him, he did not answer, I left a msg saying I got his msg and I was returning his call, and I hoped he was having a good day. That was a week ago, I don't know what to think about this guy, maybe I should not have called him, maybe he was just saying sorry for the way he acted.
prettybaby Posted April 10, 2009 Posted April 10, 2009 That was a pretty crappy way of treating you in the beginning. I would NOT have been okay with that. Answer honestly: How did you feel after he initiated so much physical contact so soon and without you giving him a clear sign that you were okay with it? Do you like this guy? Do you think you could have a healthy relationship with him? Follow your gut feeling. Mine tells me he smells like trouble.
Author sashatickles Posted April 12, 2009 Author Posted April 12, 2009 Hi Prettybaby, thanks for your input, I think you are right, that's why I deleted his phone number from my cell and I didn't have it written down anywhere. I have a bad habit of choosing guys that don't always treat me with respect, I am trying to change that. I was totally over this one and was going on with my life, then he calls. When we were dating, I told him that I am not a blow up doll and I don't do one nighters, or casual sex, I told him I didn't want to get hurt AGAIN. So when he didn't call for a month I thought "good he got the msg, and really all he wanted was SEX, so now he knows I won't put out and he won't be bothering me again, but then the call. Do you think he is doing this so that I don't stop sthinking about him? I think if he calls again, I should not answer it and not return his calls, I think he is playing me. Thoughts?
danb Posted April 12, 2009 Posted April 12, 2009 When we were dating, I told him that I am not a blow up doll Haha thats great. Ya, I agree with you, he likely wanted to have sex asap, you basically shut him down, and that was it. Maybe he hasn't had any luck with other ladies for a while and its why hes come back for another try. You don't seem to really like this guy, even if he wasnt in it for just sex, why bother.
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