Biggie25x Posted April 10, 2009 Posted April 10, 2009 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t184266/ That's a link to my post on the story of my divorce. Basically, I got the "I love you but I'm not in love with you" crap that so many people here have heard. Long story short I wanted to work on the marriage, she didn't. She quit the team. We are going to the courthouse today to file the paperwork. We did our divorce ourselves as we don't have any children and we agreed on who should get what. It's a tough day. To be involved in letting go of something you don't want to let go of.
RecordProducer Posted April 10, 2009 Posted April 10, 2009 Biggie, I am so sorry for your pain. It will go away and you'll love and be loved again. Meanwhile, be honest to yourself about your feelings, don't let sadness turn into anger or to erode your self-esteem. Divorce is a painful thing. Right now you're being a hero for going through it. People think it's not a big deal but it is. And as every bad experience, it makes you stronger at the end of tunnel. Keep your chin up high and be optimistic.
Author Biggie25x Posted April 11, 2009 Author Posted April 11, 2009 Thanks, RecordProducer. The paperwork is done and everything is settled between us. The only thing I have left is waiting until Tuesday when my Dad and I are going to drive home. I know this is the right thing to do I just can't feel that yet in my heart. I know it will get better when I leave. I know I will get through it, I have no other choice that I can live with. I just wish my heart wasn't so full of uncertainty.
now_what Posted April 11, 2009 Posted April 11, 2009 Hi Biggie: Sorry for what you are feeling right now. I can commiserate, my marriage ended last Monday after 30 years. My husband was not in love with me anymore and in fact left me for another woman. We were having some problems but he too did not want to work on the marriage, he just created a new life for himself and left. The uncertainty is a real killer at times. You just don't know what the future holds. I know I can get through this and you can too. Just look around you, there are so many people who are divorced, yet have found someone new to share their life with and are very happy. And there are also people who are not with someone, yet are still fulfilled and happy. Just try to be good to yourself right now, don't cause yourself any additional stress if possible. I've been cutting myself some slack in quite a few areas and it does seem to help.
Author Biggie25x Posted April 11, 2009 Author Posted April 11, 2009 I'm sorry to hear your husband decided not to work on it. It still amazes me to this day that someone you spend that much time with can just up and decide not to work on it any more. That just because it's not working now, doesn't mean it couldn't work in the future with hard work on both sides. I know I have to move on and accept it's over. It's just taking a while since we're both living in the same house for the next couple of days. That and I'm moving back home which is so far away I haven't really had a great opportunity to go back there these past 12 years. I don't really know what I'm going to do with the rest of my life when I get back. I just have to know I have the support of my family and that I will overcome anything that gets in my way. I won't and can't let my STBXW have that much control over my life. I won't give her that satisfaction and will prove I'm better than that. I look forward to starting a new adventure but I also am just a little nervous about the logistics. One day at a time though. If I've learned nothing else through this whole thing it's to take all this one day at a time. Some days seem to be better when it comes to all this. One day, hell for 5 minute, I feel like everything will be fine and than I miss her all over again. Oh well, c'est la vie.
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