anhonestfella Posted April 10, 2009 Posted April 10, 2009 Im a gay guy who has fallen in love with another guy 5 years older, from the offset my ex was a bit insecure as im a good looking lad who candraw attention usually becuase I have a friendly chatty nature and gets on well with everyone, he started to become controlling, he picked what I was to wear, stopped hanging about with my mates, and did what I was told... He became very unemotional never any cuddles or kissing much, he made me nervous because he was so clean and tidy, wiping the toilets no sand in the hotel room for a holidy I paid for, leaving socks lying around, always had to email or call 1st, checking up on me and creating drama's when I was at night school, he talked down to me in front of my friends and said my attempt at humour was a failure, he said my eye brows needed trimming and various other things, I tickled his feet took him on holiday which I paid for, cuddled him, picked him up when his car broke down, got him out of trouble with the police, never even got me anything for taking him away.... He told lies and thought I was too stupid to notice, he knew I was a kind well balanced fella, but paid me no attention..... Although he said he lovd me and mimmicked things that I did, I made him laugh, I couldnt stand the pain any longer and left him, but feel I want him back....... He has made no contact since I left him, what should I do? Thanks Guys
Truly Lost Posted April 10, 2009 Posted April 10, 2009 Aww, sorry you are hurting. Sounds a lot like what I went through. Maybe he has low self-esteem and settled for what ever he could get. I'm not saying you are not worth it to him, but people who have esteem issues look at things superficially. Like he may be attracted to you, but have a lot of other things about you that irritate him. Instead of discussing it with you, he just lets it fester because he doesn't want to fix it. Once you lowered your guard with him he walked all over you and took you for granted. I know its not exactly what you want to hear, but treating someone so disrespectfully shows a real lack of love. I don't understand why anyone would do that to someone else, but I guess when someone shows you that kind of disrespect, its worth considering moving on because its just abusive and shouldn't be tolerated.
RecordProducer Posted April 10, 2009 Posted April 10, 2009 This is totally about him, not you. Apparently he loved you or he wouldn't have been so jealous and controlling. But do you want to continue to be his doormat and slave?He has made no contact since I left him, what should I do? He is waiting for you to beg him to take you back. He'd probably even say "No way!" so you can beg some more. Eventually, he'd say "Oh, alright..." Don't do anything. Forget about him. If he loves you, he should call you and promise to change. But he will never change, just know that. Maybe for a few weeks only.
Author anhonestfella Posted April 10, 2009 Author Posted April 10, 2009 I know I made a fatal mistake and contacted him to say that I still loved him, he has never responded, and appears to be away with his mates on holiday for a few days, yeh I guess I have been manipulated and used, hard to let go though............
trying123 Posted April 11, 2009 Posted April 11, 2009 I know what your going through, even though you broke up you still feel like they broke up with you, go NC, look in time you will realize that life is wayyyy to short to be with someone that makes you feel bad, the person obviously has tons of baggage, from my experience people can't be fixed, he will be like that forever, sorry
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