I can't do this anymore!!!!!!!

[Charmaine_Champagne]

it's been 2 months NC and i miss him so much, i feel like i will never get over this. we were together 6years and the main thing i am struggling with is how he can just forget me- his 1st love, not think about me, not miss me. i miss him so much, i am crying as i type this. i have found it hard to get closure because he never officially broke up with me (if you read my other threads you will understand) he pretty much ignored me until i took the hint and left him alone (after 6 years, I know!)

 

i have tried to be strong and some days i feel ok but other days like now i am so down. i know i can't contact him and after 2months NC i am technically doing well but i still miss him. i really thought he would have tried to contact me by now. how can he just move on after 6 years. i miss him so much. i socialize with friends but end up having a sh*t time as all i can think about is him. how do i move on?

 

i thought i was doing ok but today i realize i still miss him and i've had abit of a break down, 10 steps backwards... how can he just move on, does he not even think about me? i'm a girl who keeps herself looking good, well groomed, attractive and yet no1 wants me and my ex doesn't care. i thought i was getting better but today i feel like hell. please help...

 

i miss him!! i am in tears! how can he not miss me?! he still hasn't tried to get in touch

[lonelypiscesguy]

I'm SO sorry for your pain and your loss. You have to know that the pain does subside, you do, don't you? Please hang in there. You know as well I do that it is merely a matter of time, and before you know it, everything will be okay again. Right? C'mon, say it with me, now! "Before I know it, everything will be okay again." He sounds like kind of a jerk, now how could you miss a jerk? You must, MUST, get out of the house, do something you've always wanted to or go someplace you've never been. Weather the storm, sweetheart. You can do it. And cry whenever you feel the need, crying helps, and I'm a guy saying this! Take care of yourself, you deserve it and he doesn't deserve you.

[Truly Lost]

I'm sorry you are so hurt. Everyone on here knows your pain. Its been 3 months of NC with my ex and its been a roller coaster ride. Some days I feel ok, but still empty inside. Other days I'm in tears. The smallest of daily issues unrelated to him will set me off in a crying frenzy. I've found it increasingly difficult to focus at work and keep telling myself to knock it off.

 

You're really vulnerable right now and it will take time to get past. I'm still not there yet myself. My ex and I broke up kind of suddenly and without warning. I don't know if he is anywhere near as hurt as I am, but at this point I can't really focus on what he is going through. I can't imagine he is super happy, but the truth is, I have no idea.

 

I would like nothing more than to give you some words of comfort, but I can't. You can only get that from the source and that doesn't seem likely to happen. You are going to still have hard days, but its the grieving process. Be strong. It might help if you focus your energy on bettering yourself and getting out of the house and meet people. Not to jump into a relationship, but get your mind off the impending doom you face with his not being in your life everyday. I know its not easy, but time will heal your pain, but you have to give it some effort. Dwelling won't do you any good. It'll make your grief last longer. Good luck.

[contax]

I feel what you're going through. I left my ex cause she was chilling with this guy and now they're together. Sometimes I miss her so much, and wonder if she even cares. Like the only way she's not caring is cause she's in a new relationship.

 

I bet your ex is thinking about you. You never know. Be strong.

[RainyNight]

(Sigh)

I know that pain Charmain , I'm sorry for you .

You know , it's good to be strong and wise , but it's also healthy to give yourself the right to grieve your loss. It's normal to cry and feel sad , we are human beings after all . Who said it's easy to get over a 6-year-old relationship?!

Just get back to the right track as soon as possible. Don't get dragged into that dark corner for too long .

 

P.S.

sorry but I noticed such breakdowns occur as a part of the PMS . If so, just keep telling yourself it will be over in a few days & u will get back to the strong you again .

 

Good Luck

[gavinus]

I know how you feel, its been 9 weeks breakup, 6 weeks NC for me. Keep strong, the feelings will pass, as they always do, if you contact him you will set yourself back to day one again, don't hurt yourself that way, you deserve better. Something that may help is writing stuff down, that helps me to put all my feelings out there, but still keeps my self respect, you will be ok

[Bluebird In My Heart]

I so agree with everyone.

 

RainyNight, I've noticed that as well - it helps to mentally prepare ahead of time for that. I also noticed if there's an excess of any stimulant, such as coffee, it can trigger things when dealing with something that requires a lot of our emotional reserves.

 

Charmaine, I read your other posts, you always strike me as someone who has a good deal of perspective and a great head on your shoulders. I too, am sorry to hear you are having such a difficult time at the moment.

 

I hope there's something that perhaps you can plan to do that can take you out of yourself and the pain. It really helps loads! If you find your mind going back to him overmuch, you can them quickly "flip" your mind to something that doesn't involve him at all, yet is fulfilling all the same.

 

Best of luck, darling.

[RecordProducer]

Oh, sweetie, I am so sorry for your pain and boy do I know how it feels.

I can give you some practical advice:

1. Stay away from booze

2. Take walks - I know you don't feel like going out, fresh air is amazingly regenereting when it comes to feelings

3. Talk about him with your close friends/family to get the poison and sorrow out of your system, but try to focus on other people's problems instead, as much as you can. You can start by posting on this forum in other people's threads

4. Practice your hobbies as much as you can; if you don't have any - start now. You won't feel like doing anything, but force yourself - once you start doing something, it's difficult to stop.

5. Take care of yourself - nothing worse than seeing a yuck image of yourself in the mirror.

6. Fantasize about your future and KNOW that you can have all the good things you want. (I assume you wouldn't fantasize about something that could never happen).

7. Watch positive movies; they engage the mind and bring optimism

under each date how sad you felt (on a scale from 1 to 10). Just a stupid idea, but it might give you the feeling that this too shall pass and set your mind

If you do all this, I guarantee you that in three months, you'll be a different person. A year from now, you'll be more or less over him, no matter what you do. So you can start circling days on your calendar and perhaps write down on believing that the light at the end of the tunnel will show up in 365 days.

 

In any case you will love and be loved again. More than once. Some day, when you meet Mr. Right, you'll be happy that this guy isn't in your life anymore.

 

I just read your other threads. He was very cruel to you by all standards. Why do you think he wanted out of the relationship? Did you have any problems? Could it be someone else? Is he trying to achieve something through emotional blackmail? Was he open and honest with you before?

[Charmaine_Champagne]

thanks for all your responses.. record producer i've read your list.. thanks.. def need to avoid booze.. i've been drinking alot lately, prob because i have been going out more with friends and in the back of my mind i have this attitude of 'f**k him, i'm gonna go out have a good time' etc but when i drink i get miserable and i end up crying at the end of the night.. all the bars and clubs we go to are abit of a let down.. plus i feel older now and guys don't approach me. also every place i go is somewhere that i went with my ex over the years and it hurts to go there alone, even though my friends are with me.

 

i've always been a girl who keeps myself well groomed and looking well, my hair, make-up nails and figure and i have maintained this, i'm not gonna let myself go because of my ex but i find that men don't approach me and bear in mind i have been out of the game for a number of years now as i always have been with my ex and now i'm a little older i find guys are scared to approach me.. sometimes i wonder why i bother, altho if i look good i do feel good but men don't approach me anyway and i find you don't meet men in bars or clubs.. also i find myself thinking how i always made myself look nice for my ex and ppl would have said i was the better looking one lol, got dressed up and looked classy but it didn't matter because he still left me so why bother, he didn't appreciate me, maybe if i had just let myself go it wouldn't have made a difference. i feel now if i was to date someone it would prob be a rebound anyway

 

i try to get out and about as sitting at home gets me down, and some days i'm grand i'm upbeat and i can have fun but other times i am miserable i try to put on a brave face infront of friends but its hurts and deep down i miss him even when i am socializing

 

in answer to your questions he is an immature guy for his age and i feel that he didn't have the guts to break up with me to my face.. i still to this day don't know if he was in some kind of trouble with the law, or had he cheated or if he just wanted freedom with his friends or he wanted to get with another girl or have more sexual partners, i just don't know and i am still torturing myself two months later wondering what the hell happened back in Feb.. i feel that in order to move on and get closure i need an answer and i need to know why he did this but i know i can't contact him.. so thats why this is so unbearable..

 

i know that before he was talking to girls online.. now not to sound arrogant but they weren't even in my league. i'm a classy, well educated young woman but he seemed to get kicks from talking to tarty, rough teenagers on sites like bebo.. you know the kind that take photos in their underwear for attention.. so i don't know if that was a reason.. if so i think he must be mental.. i can only hope that some day he will realize he lost the best damn thing that ever happened to him.. but i don't know if he even cares.. despite this is still miss him.. i must be mental too!

 

this post is prob littered with spelling and grammar errors but i am having the worst day ever, feel so down, just need answers but know i can't break NC so i've come on here to vent and ramble.. i'm so close to calling him but it prob wouldn't make a difference.. i just NEED him to get in touch, i miss him