SpanksTheMonkey Posted April 10, 2009 Posted April 10, 2009 Well Ive tried to ignore it and deny it but I think I would like to start exploring my options far as oh god I even hate to say this... dating goes. I have used the on line venue to some success in the past but I have always limited myself to sites dedicated to just overweight people. But honestly I don't like the trend on allot of these sites lately seams there used more for just sex hookups not what I want. I would also like to improve my chances of finding some one decent and worth while a real nice guy and yes it can be done even for overweight women. So that brings me to this question is it OK for me to start an add on a so called reg dating site like match or one of them now? But to be totally honest about my weight upfront I know allot of women don't do that they just lie and the poor guys find out afterwords thats so wrong I think. Anyways I was just wondering if its possible or done would it be worth a shot? it would prob end up in a LDR in the end at best. I'm sure I wont find any one in NZ maybe Ozzy if I'm lucky who knows I guess I'm just getting sick of talking to the cat lol...
samspade Posted April 10, 2009 Posted April 10, 2009 Be honest about it. They will find out eventually, and if that is not what they prefer, they will resent you for wasting their time. Not only that, but there ARE men who prefer your body type. You'd probably rather have someone who is legitimately attracted to you, wouldn't you? Personally, I don't recommend dating sites for this reason. You are better off meeting someone the first time in the flesh. That's when attraction really occurs. Dating websites offer very little conceit, for lack of a better word; both parties know what's up. Where's the mystery?
pollywag Posted April 10, 2009 Posted April 10, 2009 Sorry I am not sure I undestand your questions Spank, are you asking if there are overweight ladies on regular sites and if it's ok for you to take out an ad there? As opposed to going to just an overweight site? (by the way I had no idea they had overweight dating sites..)
Author SpanksTheMonkey Posted April 10, 2009 Author Posted April 10, 2009 Be honest about it. They will find out eventually, and if that is not what they prefer, they will resent you for wasting their time. Not only that, but there ARE men who prefer your body type. You'd probably rather have someone who is legitimately attracted to you, wouldn't you? Personally, I don't recommend dating sites for this reason. You are better off meeting someone the first time in the flesh. That's when attraction really occurs. Dating websites offer very little conceit, for lack of a better word; both parties know what's up. Where's the mystery? Good points sam I didn't think about it that way I think for me to find some one randomly in NZ tho would be a bit hard its a extremely thin minded country. I prob couldn't have picked a worse one I think lol.. And I hate the bar/club scene so that doesn't help so that kinda leaves me with on line for lack of a better option. Oh no I would be 100% honest I'm 31 I'm past those games really whats the point its not like the guys are not going to see you at some point lol..
samspade Posted April 10, 2009 Posted April 10, 2009 I do understand, but people often mistakenly think your only options for meeting people are in bars, or online. I don't know how it is in NZ, but I'm sure you can find some other activities, groups, or classes that get you outside and meeting like-minded people. Do the online thing if you want. But I think you should do it as a supplemental way of meeting guys.
Author SpanksTheMonkey Posted April 10, 2009 Author Posted April 10, 2009 Sorry I am not sure I undestand your questions Spank, are you asking if there are overweight ladies on regular sites and if it's ok for you to take out an ad there? As opposed to going to just an overweight site? (by the way I had no idea they had overweight dating sites..) Hi polly yep thats basically what I'm asking if its done or if it would work just getting some general ideas on the subject as Ive never even used one before. Yep overweight people have dateing sites dedicated to just them how ever I find allot of the time its used for sex hookups mainly or have **** loads of married men on them. I'm guessing the sex thing is because allot of us have low self esteem and we think thats all were good for in a nut shell to be honest. I use to be like that back in my 20s but Ive matured past it now and would just like an adult caring relationship if its to be found..
Author SpanksTheMonkey Posted April 10, 2009 Author Posted April 10, 2009 I do understand, but people often mistakenly think your only options for meeting people are in bars, or online. I don't know how it is in NZ, but I'm sure you can find some other activities, groups, or classes that get you outside and meeting like-minded people. Do the online thing if you want. But I think you should do it as a supplemental way of meeting guys. Thanks again sam I will def think about it maybe a class or something your right I have limited my mindset and thats never good..
pollywag Posted April 10, 2009 Posted April 10, 2009 Hi Spanks (I love your name by the way it cracks me right up ) oh yeah of course you can go on a regular site I have seen a bit of everything on them, it is most definitely not limited to a specific type of person. Pick a few sites and look around, you are only as good as your competition really, regardless of what size you are. Like if a good looking above average looking girl goes to a bar where all models hang out she might have a harder time meeting someone than at a bar where more regular looking people hang out. It's all relative. I think it's worse for men online because women become even more picky since the selection is so big women get really picky. Especially women that should not be as picky, so that might be a good thing in your favour, more guys for you.
era Posted April 10, 2009 Posted April 10, 2009 it would prob end up in a LDR in the end at best. I've been contemplating joining an online dating site, too. I live in a huge city, and I've noticed some local ads, I do NOT want a LDR...been there done that. I guess I'm just getting sick of talking to the cat lol... Yes, I have long conversations with my cat also, even though I have do most of the talking - but that's okay.
Author SpanksTheMonkey Posted April 10, 2009 Author Posted April 10, 2009 Hi Spanks (I love your name by the way it cracks me right up ) oh yeah of course you can go on a regular site I have seen a bit of everything on them, it is most definitely not limited to a specific type of person. Pick a few sites and look around, you are only as good as your competition really, regardless of what size you are. Like if a good looking above average looking girl goes to a bar where all models hang out she might have a harder time meeting someone than at a bar where more regular looking people hang out. It's all relative. I think it's worse for men online because women become even more picky since the selection is so big women get really picky. Especially women that should not be as picky, so that might be a good thing in your favour, more guys for you. Thanks Polly glad to see the name makes people smile ... Yea I'm def not a super model never will be but I'm a good person so that must count for something id like to think. I think there has to be a attraction of course on both ends but looks are the last thing on my list and I'm being 100% honest about that. All this crap about how you can be so picky if you look a cirtin way is just so shallow to me. Even if I was 100 pounds I don't think I would change my ideas on the subject after all the looks fade in time but the insides are still there..
jimbo Posted April 10, 2009 Posted April 10, 2009 Well, since I am self employed, the women at my condo, are well, zero. I don't do the bar scene. I tried date.com, jdate, match.com, eharmony, and chemistry. All the women wanted to keep up conversations and meets while they lie to me and see others. Then, when you bring it up to them, they get annoyed. I have found there are very few good people around on the dating sites. There is no trust or monogamy on these sites. But for a woman, it is probably in your favor. You can pick and choose. And when you do not want this man, you can choose another. You do not even have to tell the other man you are dating. Not saying you would do that. It does not seem like you. There is no honor amongst thieves these days. I am letting all the dating sites expire. They are a waste of money. But if you have the bread to spare and you are looking for some fun and massive amounts of attention by the opposite sex, give it a shot. Just don't treat the men you have lost interest in with disrespect. That's no good. Bad karma.
pollywag Posted April 10, 2009 Posted April 10, 2009 Question for Jimbo: I am curious about jdate are shiksas welcomed or is it strictly Jewish girls sought after there?
Author SpanksTheMonkey Posted April 10, 2009 Author Posted April 10, 2009 I've been contemplating joining an online dating site, too. I live in a huge city, and I've noticed some local ads, I do NOT want a LDR...been there done that. Yes, I have long conversations with my cat also, even though I have do most of the talking - but that's okay. Well I love talking to my fur baby's but lately their talking back so its def time to seek other human companionship I think. Before I start licking myself in public and chasing mice all day lol..:lmao: Well, since I am self employed, the women at my condo, are well, zero. I don't do the bar scene. I tried date.com, jdate, match.com, eharmony, and chemistry. All the women wanted to keep up conversations and meets while they lie to me and see others. Then, when you bring it up to them, they get annoyed. I have found there are very few good people around on the dating sites. There is no trust or monogamy on these sites. But for a woman, it is probably in your favor. You can pick and choose. And when you do not want this man, you can choose another. You do not even have to tell the other man you are dating. Not saying you would do that. It does not seem like you. There is no honor amongst thieves these days. I am letting all the dating sites expire. They are a waste of money. But if you have the bread to spare and you are looking for some fun and massive amounts of attention by the opposite sex, give it a shot. Just don't treat the men you have lost interest in with disrespect. That's no good. Bad karma. This is what I was afraid of yea seams every one wants to date date date until they die god forbid pin it down to one worth while person. I know thats how women are on the sites there was one I use to frequent the forums on were the women treated the decent men like crap! And then bitched and moaned they couldn't get a decent man with there profile pics of their tits hanging out its crazy! Thanks jimbo no I'm not like that I give everyone a chance the only time on line I ignore men is when there being rude/crude/ or disrespectful in any other way toward me. I don't want to see their one eyed Willy with in the 1st 5 Min's thats a def turn off and instant blacklist... Question for Jimbo: I am curious about jdate are shiksas welcomed or is it strictly Jewish girls sought after there? OMG not to be disrespectful to any one here but when you asked about shiksas Polly. It reminded me of that sighnfield episode were Christine was being chased by all the Jewish guys cause she had the hot shiksas factor going on lol... Hey I really wanna thank those of you who took the time to respond I appreciate it very much :D:D
jimbo Posted April 10, 2009 Posted April 10, 2009 They have unaffiliated now. So yea, they take anyone with some bread. I am done with online dating. It will be a bit lonely, but its better than this crap. Relationships are overrated anyways. Save yourself the time and money and stress Spanks. One thing you will see that all the same people one Match are also on at least two other sites. I think it is the same group of people on all sites.
Author SpanksTheMonkey Posted April 10, 2009 Author Posted April 10, 2009 They have unaffiliated now. So yea, they take anyone with some bread. I am done with online dating. It will be a bit lonely, but its better than this crap. Relationships are overrated anyways. Save yourself the time and money and stress Spanks. One thing you will see that all the same people one Match are also on at least two other sites. I think it is the same group of people on all sites. Yeah that I have already noticed with the bbw sites always the same men time and again on there for ages and ages. And they don't respond to anything I mean if your not interested fair enough. But at least be respectful enough to respond and let ya know Ive wondered if some of them were even real people to be honest. I will admit I was kind of hoping that these probs were because of the limited pool being a specialized site. But now I see all dating sites are like that maybe bummer..
SoulSearch_CO Posted April 10, 2009 Posted April 10, 2009 STM - I say go for it. What can it hurt? As long as you go into it with your eyes open and realistic expectations, I don't see why not. Might as well see what's out there. I found my BF on eHarmony. I'm sure some guys judge based on the pictures, but what I liked about it was being matched by personality first. So you're not wading through an entire sea of pointless wastes of time. You hear a lot of the bad stories about online dating, but there is plenty of success - google around for stats.
Author SpanksTheMonkey Posted April 13, 2009 Author Posted April 13, 2009 Hey guys well I have a little update I found a new site well actually one that I hadn't used in ages and had forgotten about. So any ways I took a quick browse around and I saw a few cuties that caut my eye one in particular and the awesome part is hes only like 2 and half hours away from me. The only bummer part is the site is semi free you can exchange winks for free and we have already a few times. But to actually contact each other ones going to have to join and cough up 25 bucks**ughhh** I think I'll go for it. I know getting excited about the 1st person you meet is lame sorry lol..
SoulSearch_CO Posted April 13, 2009 Posted April 13, 2009 Awww, it's not lame! I'm excited for you! I hope things turn out well...at least that you get to have a little fun!
Author SpanksTheMonkey Posted April 14, 2009 Author Posted April 14, 2009 Thanks soul me too I just checked today and I had 2 more people make contact the only thing is there both old enough to be my father ekk why do men do that? I listed between 25 and 36 I think on my profile I guess people don't look at that Ive always found it easy to get older guys attention ***Meh*** what can you do I guess..
Nemoralis Posted April 14, 2009 Posted April 14, 2009 I'm not into silly "rules" but with dating online I have one. Meet them quickly! Don't spend days and days or weeks and weeks chatting with someone online or on the phone that you have never met. Too much time invested and hopes raised that could turn into disappointment once you actually meet. Chat for a bit, determine that there is possibility for a connection, then GO ON A DATE. Then, if it doesn't work out, you haven't invested too much time and energy. Don't even get me started on online LDRs. Not that it hasn't worked for some, but come on...
SoulSearch_CO Posted April 14, 2009 Posted April 14, 2009 I listed between 25 and 36 I think on my profile I guess people don't look at that Ive always found it easy to get older guys attention ***Meh*** what can you do I guess.. UGH...that was my PET PEEVE. Guys totally ignoring what my profile said and contacting me anyway. Get a ****ing grip. That pissed me off more than anything. Just because it really gave me a good indicator of how respectful they would be of my wishes in general if I were to be in relationship with them - they couldn't even respect my wishes before knowing me...when you should be putting your best foot forward.
Author SpanksTheMonkey Posted April 14, 2009 Author Posted April 14, 2009 I'm not into silly "rules" but with dating online I have one. Meet them quickly! Don't spend days and days or weeks and weeks chatting with someone online or on the phone that you have never met. Too much time invested and hopes raised that could turn into disappointment once you actually meet. Chat for a bit, determine that there is possibility for a connection, then GO ON A DATE. Then, if it doesn't work out, you haven't invested too much time and energy. Don't even get me started on online LDRs. Not that it hasn't worked for some, but come on... Thanks for the advice and I agree 100% but there was only like 3 guys from my country and none were compatible So I opted for the next closest which is still an ocean away and about a 3 hour plane ride. That being the case I wouldn't be too sure about a quick 1st date id want to really make sure there was something there. Before dishing out that kinda cash and any guys too I'm sure if it came to pass like that.. UGH...that was my PET PEEVE. Guys totally ignoring what my profile said and contacting me anyway. Get a ****ing grip. That pissed me off more than anything. Just because it really gave me a good indicator of how respectful they would be of my wishes in general if I were to be in relationship with them - they couldn't even respect my wishes before knowing me...when you should be putting your best foot forward. Yeah the bad thing is with me I hate to be rude so I feel I have to respond on the next one I'm just going to politely decline the advance. I like to think its a mistake or maybe they think once I get to know them it wont matter. It will cause I'm just not attracted to men that much older at this point I'm 31 even 40 seams pushing it to me I dunno..
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