Cora Posted April 10, 2009 Posted April 10, 2009 It's been almost 2 months now since he disappeared without an explaination or a goodbye. It was a LDR and one day the calls just suddenly stopped and he never came online anymore. He also did everything possible so that I couldn't contact him anymore. It hurt tremendously because all of the questions I had went unanswered. An eight month relationship gone down the drain. I think if only I could have been smarter the first time, then I could have avoided all this pain. You see a few months into our relationship I found out he was seeing this other girl who lived only a few minutes away from him. I was shocked and devastated to say the least. We continued to remain friends after I found out until I just couldn't handle it anymore and told him I could no longer speak to him because it hurt me too much. It just about killed me to know that he was spending his time with someone else while I longed to be there but couldn't because we lived so far away. He was always the one who insisted he wanted to make this work. He constantly told me he could wait for me and that I was all he ever wanted. All meaningless words. Some time goes by and suddenly right after Christmas he contacts me again and tells me what a horrible mistake he has made. How he regrets letting me go. He told me how unhappy he was with this other girl and how it was me all along that he wanted. The apologies kept coming from him and we both cried. On one hand I was so happy to hear from him again because I missed him so much and I still loved him more than words could ever express. But I was so afraid to give him another chance for fear of being hurt again. I let him know this too. Everyday that went by I reminded him of how afraid I was. He promised me over and over that he would never hurt me again. As time went by I slowly started to trust him again and all of the love and feelings I had for him came rushing back but ten times as strong!! Everything seemed to be going wonderfully until the day I received his last call....only I didn't know it was going to be the last. I'll never forget those last words out of his mouth.....I love you so very much and I cant wait to see you sweetie. After that I never heard from him again. I later found out he was still seeing that other girl all along and much to my surprise were now engaged to be married. Right then the world stopped and my heart broke into pieces. This time it hurt ten times worse. All of my hopes and dreams were shattered. Even after some time has passed and the shock of it all has died down I still feel so empty. I feel as if I'm always on the outside now looking in. I want to be happy again and get back into life but I just don't feel motivated. I am depressed and angry....angry at him and angry at myself for allowing him back into my life. He took my heart and crushed it in his hands without any remourse. It just doesn't seem fair to me. Here he is the one who lied and cheated and hurt me so badly but I am the one who is suffering not him. He is as happy as can be, new job, newly engaged and so in love. I'm sitting here depressed, confused and heartbroken while he is living his life to the fullest ughh!! It always seems as if the ones who cause the pain are the ones who get to go on being happy. I know the pain will go away someday but damn I'm tired of it. I always treated him so wonderfully and was always there for him when he needed me. Never once did I do a hurtful thing to him. I gave him all of my love but still ended up being burned. But I guess that's life. Now I'm just waiting.....waiting for it to get easier and waiting to feel happy again. Where is that glimmer of hope? When will it get easier?
xpaperxcutx Posted April 10, 2009 Posted April 10, 2009 Why is he engaged? Do you think he could have gotten the other girl pregnant? at the very least you now know the problem in all this was him. It had nothing to do with you. He was manipulative with both you and this other girl. Imagine going years without knowing the truth, that would hurt a lot more. Laugh, cry until you can't anymore. Give yourself a spa day or two. Go to the salon and get a new hairstyle. Buy a new bag to replace the old. Try out new shoes. You'll find out that after a few days, you'll probably have forgotten his name.
Meaplus3 Posted April 10, 2009 Posted April 10, 2009 He is as happy as can be, new job, newly engaged and so in love. I'm sitting here depressed, confused and heartbroken while he is living his life to the fullest ughh!! It always seems as if the ones who cause the pain are the ones who get to go on being happy. Then it's time for you to get back out there and forget about him. Why sit around and be depressed over someone who is not worth it? I know it might sound hard to do but, you can pull yourself together and move passed this. He had a chance with you.. then vanished without a trace for a while. IMO he blew it right there. It might take some time, but you can and will get passed this. Stay busy and focus on other things. Best wishes. Mea:)
Sco Posted April 10, 2009 Posted April 10, 2009 So sorry about your pain, stories like that are heartbreaking. I think if only I could have been smarter the first time, then I could have avoided all this pain. No need to blame yourself, you didn't do nothing wrong. You opened your heart and trusted.. He's a coward, a liar and a cheater, you're better off without him "SERIOUSLY". Remember "on every thorn, wisdom grows", so you'll know better next time. Hang in there, go out, take a walk, exercise, get a massage, go to church, read a book, punch a pillow, post, just let it go, it gets better... Many Hugs!
now_what Posted April 10, 2009 Posted April 10, 2009 I'm sorry for your situation - I do know how you feel. It will get easier eventually - but be prepared for all the ups and downs along the way. Some days I feel great - but then I just wait for the plunge. Sometime you just want the roller coaster ride to end. Don't beat yourself up for what is essentially your ex's shortcomings. My ex was also a coward, liar and cheater, thinking only of himself. Just try to stay strong and look toward the future.
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