moodoo Posted April 10, 2009 Posted April 10, 2009 So we've been broke up for a while now and she claims to want to be "friends" after a 2 year relationship. The last 3 times we've tried to make plans together she comes up with some excuse and it all falls through, we live 3 hours apart. Ill shoot her a playful text like once a week and she never responds then calls me like 3 days later. Its so rude because when one of my buddies calls me, if I miss the call, I call back the minute I see the call, if its a text i respond instantly. This past monday my mother had surgery and all my friends called to see how she was, this b***h of a person knew my mom was having surgery and didnt call. The surgery went ok but there were some problems after so I sent her a text and said thanks for being the only one of my " friends" who didnt care enough to text me, she apologised and went on. Three days later she still hasn't claled to check on my mom who is still having problems post surgery and it makes me think wow this girl is just a plain biotch because my mom always treated her well and was friends with her.....im sorry but a friend is a friend and every single one of mine except her called to see how I was because I was having a ahrd time....did she really cross the line this time to where I shouldnt even be friends with her?
Ronni_W Posted April 10, 2009 Posted April 10, 2009 I agree with you. It's not a good idea to try to be "friends" with people where you want to control what, when and how they do things -- the specifics don't really matter. I also don't think your g/f is an awful biatch just because she is setting HER OWN priorities, schedules and standards by which she holds herself accountable. Wishing your mom a quick and complete recovery from her surgery.
Trialbyfire Posted April 10, 2009 Posted April 10, 2009 If expectations of what a friendship entails, differs greatly, then yes, it's best to end the friendship. Flip this around a bit. Forget that your other friends have already inquired about your mother. If this was just another male friend, would you expect the same? If so, you have your answer. If not, time to decide why you hold her to a higher standard as any other friend. I had to sever a friendship with an ex a little while back. I held him to the same level of courtesy and respect, I hold my other friends. He just wasn't willing to give it, so that was fair enough. The two of us had differing expectations of friendship.
BCCA Posted April 10, 2009 Posted April 10, 2009 'Friends' to most ex's means 'you dont hate me, right?' You have to put things in perspective. Her world does not revolve around you anymore, and in fact, she probably subconciously does/says things to reiterate that fact, not only to you, but to herself. Its hard with someone you used to date, because you were used to them being held to the HIGHEST standard of all, and now you'll be lucky to be treated like much more than a co-worker. Also, if she was overly comforting, called you right back, etc...you may very well be posting in the second chances forums, asking 'will she come back?'. She needs to draw a hard line in the sand, and make it perfectly clear that you two are no longer an option. Again, this is for her as much as it is for you, anything else just leads to confusion and further bad feelings. Another thing to keep in mind is that if youve already agreed to the friendship, chances are she already has what she wants. She doesnt want to ruin it or feel that youve changed your mind, and the best way to do that is to have as little contact as possible, and always on her terms. I bet when you wait 3 days for her to call, youre pretty happy to hear from her. All she wants is to know you dont hate her, yeah...youre 'friends' or whatever. Thats a HUGE guilt dump right there. Why does she want to stick around and see if it all goes up in flames, or have some drawn out conversation with you about anything, or fight, etc? As usual, TBF makes a good point, too. If you expect more from her as a friend, than this isnt going to work out. Its pretty obvious what youre going to get from her. In short, I dont think shes a b***h, I just think shes prioritized you lower than you would like.
Truly Lost Posted April 10, 2009 Posted April 10, 2009 Was your relationship always while you lived 3 hours apart? I don't think she is trying to be a b**ch to you. She is not commited to you anymore. I'm sure she has something already going on in her life that is demanding her attention. Its good that you are willing to be friendly, but she might not be all that interested in a "friendship". She just wants to maintain an amicable split. You know, the "no hard feelings" senario.
Donovan Posted April 10, 2009 Posted April 10, 2009 i say leave her alone. sounds like she's a real b***h. i'm only friends with one of my exes and that's saying something. all of them are cheating lying sluts but one of them i'm close to her family and that's the only reason we remain close with no problems now. she wants to be "friends" to keep guilt out of her conscience(as if many people have one). i say forget about her and just ignore her. that's what i do. it's a dog eat dog world man. u can either get revenge or act as if she never existed. i think revenge would be paying this selfish broad too much attention than you already are.
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