brokenheart1 Posted April 9, 2009 Posted April 9, 2009 I'm 25 years old and I'm very attracted to a man who's 41 years old at my work. He is single and available. He seems to be a little interested in me but doesn't do anything to persue me. I emailed him a few times and I spoke a few times about work related things. He isn't much of a talker but he did go out of his way to talk to me once or twice. He asked me to give him a call if I was around after I mentioned I was visiting his part of town. Is he just being nice or do you think he's interested? I wanted to ask him to hang out but I don't see him very often. (Maybe once a week). Would it be weird for a 25 year old asking a 41 year old guy to hang out. How to be make it more subtle?
justme2781 Posted April 9, 2009 Posted April 9, 2009 my boyfriend is 17 y/o. its working great so far!!! i asked him out!! lol. shouldndt be weird your are both adults. working with someone you are dating may be an issue thouhg.
prettybaby Posted April 9, 2009 Posted April 9, 2009 Just casually ask if he'd like to have lunch together some time. Or grab a drink with you after work or something. Nothing weird about that. Don't try to be too subtle; that could actually work against you. Guys don't always "get" subtle; especially those that are out of the loop lol
bean1 Posted April 9, 2009 Posted April 9, 2009 my boyfriend is 17 y/o. its working great so far!!! i asked him out!! lol. shouldndt be weird your are both adults. working with someone you are dating may be an issue thouhg. I have to admit I was a little creeped out until I checked your previous post, your boyfriend is 17 years older than you... not 17 years old ... LOL.
Chicago_Guy Posted April 9, 2009 Posted April 9, 2009 my boyfriend is 17 y/o. its working great so far!!! i asked him out!! lol. shouldndt be weird your are both adults. working with someone you are dating may be an issue thouhg. How old are you? EDIT - I agree with Bean! I thought you meant you were dating a 17-year-old kid in high school!
prettybaby Posted April 9, 2009 Posted April 9, 2009 I also wanted to add: It might be a good idea to word it in such way that you basically imply that he is free to join you for lunch/dinner/drinks/whatever if he feels like it, instead of a juvenile "would you like to go out with me some time?" lol. It would make you sound more confident and also like you're making him a favor by letting him hang out with you. It's a subtle difference as far as phrasing goes, but it can make a big difference in how you come across (= worthy and confident young woman who values herself and who'll be cool either way /versus/ begging pathetically while hoping for a "yes" /or even/ nothing but an easy lay).
justme2781 Posted April 10, 2009 Posted April 10, 2009 no sorry guys!! lol he is 17 years older!!! hahaha my bad! im the worste on these boards sometimes!!!
clv0116 Posted April 10, 2009 Posted April 10, 2009 The USA has a social taboo about dating 'your own age' that he might have to overcome a fear of if you're in the US or a similar feminist culture.
justme2781 Posted April 10, 2009 Posted April 10, 2009 ok feminism means you believe in the strength of an individual and individual choice, so this so called taboo has NOTHING to do with feminism. perhaps the destroted notion of feminism.
voldigicam Posted April 10, 2009 Posted April 10, 2009 Think about what you'd be comfortable doing and then set that up with him. It's OK. If you like him in a "daddy's girl" way, even up to snuggling and talking, but no more. Then keep that in mind and invite him to take you for ice cream. If you think he'd be a nice almost-equals chat partner, then coffee or something. If you think you'd like his hands in your pants, it's Ok to think about it Ask him for an afternoon or after work meeting. If you have enough time to change. Order some margarittas or something. Wear an outfit suitable for his time. Lots of tit, lots of makeup, nice shoes, flash lots of ankle, lean close, touch his hand. Either have somewhere to go if you're in a hurry, or just tease, give a nice hug, kiss his neck, and wait for the next invite. Have fun. I'll admit to having recently kissed someone 30 years younger, so it's not unheard of.
samspade Posted April 10, 2009 Posted April 10, 2009 You will probably make his day. He might be gun shy because he thinks the age difference will make it weird for you. If you look around these boards, you see a lot of men and women get shamed for dating younger/older, which is unfortunate. He may have bought into the falsehood that it's "wrong" to ask out a girl 17 years his junior. Perhaps he just needs a nudge. ok feminism means you believe in the strength of an individual and individual choice, so this so called taboo has NOTHING to do with feminism. perhaps the destroted notion of feminism. Well said. It IS a distorted view of feminism that places taboos on sex and dating, one that attempts to rob adults of their freedom of choice when it comes to dating. Real feminists are better than that.
Cherished Posted April 10, 2009 Posted April 10, 2009 No one shames anyone for dating younger/older at all. It's just that when we're told by you, clv, that men would rather date a lot younger and that's how it is...that's where the problem is. NOT ALL MEN LIKE TO DATE THAT MUCH YOUNGER, IT'S NOTHING TO DO WITH 'TABOO' OR FEMINISM OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT. NOT ONE PERSON ON THIS BOARD HAS STATED ANYTHING LIKE THAT. YOU JUST LIKE TO STATE YOUR INCORRECT GENERALIZATIONS ON HOW THINGS ARE, AND THEN WHEN OTHERS PROVE THAT YOUR REALITY IS COMPLETELY INCORRECT, THEN YOU TWIST IT AROUND JUST LIKE YOU HAVE. I HAVE NEVER SAID THERE IS A 'TABOO' TO NOT DATE YOUR OWN AGE. I JUST STATED THAT MOST MEN AND WOMEN ACTUALLY DO END UP MARRYING THEIR OWN AGE RANGE. HOW DO YOU MISINTERPRET THAT????
clv0116 Posted April 10, 2009 Posted April 10, 2009 Creepy. Immature. Compensating. Only good for one thing. Only after one thing. Need I continue?
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