sexibanez Posted April 9, 2009 Posted April 9, 2009 Just thought I'd share this with you guys before I sent it. Please tell me if you think it's alright. _________________________ I can't sleep tonight because I know that it's over between us. I just want you to know that the past seven years have been the happiest of my life. I've grown and learned so much from you, you're the greatest woman I've ever known. You were a young girl when I first met you and you just got better and better in every way as we grew. I need you to know that every time I told you I loved you, I meant it from the bottom of my heart. I hope that you can forgive me for all my shortcomings, I wish that I married you when I had the chance, you are the most perfect human being on this planet. You deserve better than me, you, and Lewis, both deserve somebody who can give you the things you want when you want them. I hope with all my heart that you can one day find it in you to trust me and give me another chance, because despite everything I know I'd be getting two people I love so immensely back. The best kind of love is one where we learn from each other and take comfort in the knowledge that someone out there, loves us unconditionally and without any obligation. You taught me that. I'm so happy to have been the man who loved you like this, and I always will. You gave me everything I could have possibly wanted in a relationship. If I see you again I will smile and think of how we spent 7 years together in love, not knowing what the future held, and that what we had was true and real. I hope that I find the strength to be your friend, and nothing more. I love you.
GorillaTheater Posted April 9, 2009 Posted April 9, 2009 It's a nice letter. Probably felt good to get that off your chest. But DO NOT send it to her. If she thinks anything at all about it, it'll be how weak and needy you appear to be. And you probably are weak and needy right now; perfectly normal. But you gain nothing by letting her know that. In fact, as unattractive as "weak and needy" is, you'll lose any ground with her you may still have. Stick to NC and heal, man.
Author sexibanez Posted April 9, 2009 Author Posted April 9, 2009 i have to move on as she has, but i wont gain anything by sending it either way. I dont know what to do.
GorillaTheater Posted April 9, 2009 Posted April 9, 2009 It may well be true that you have nothing to gain by sending the letter or not. In my case, my default position would be preserving my dignity and self-respect by not sending the letter and remaining NC.
copaisking Posted April 9, 2009 Posted April 9, 2009 Do NOT send it! I made the mistake of doing the same thing... she didn't even respond. I came across as weak and needy. Trust me, as much as you are feeling the way you do in that letter, its only going to lower your self esteem and boost her own ego. Do what you need to do, but remember, in these situations, the right thing to do is the complete opposite of what you want to do. Trust me, i'm in it right now. This morning I was crying my eyes out in the shower, wanting to end it all, because I know my ex won't take me back. Be stronger than me. You sound a great guy, there are plenty of women out there who like great guys...
Author sexibanez Posted April 10, 2009 Author Posted April 10, 2009 Thank you sooooooooooooo much for the advice, I was on the verge of sending it before I read the advice. I have begged and pleaded enough, I'm going NC until I get over her, however long that takes. ...but i need to collect some stuff from her place, how can i do that now?
wheresmysunshine Posted April 10, 2009 Posted April 10, 2009 This made me cry reading it. My heart goes out to you at this time. I feel the same way although I was wronged by him on so many levels. I say don't send it but keep it saved somewhere just in case.. it's always good to go back months later and see what your heart wrote down to reflect.
copaisking Posted April 10, 2009 Posted April 10, 2009 try to arrange it with her on email that you can go get your stuff when she isn't in. Trust me, i've been through that as well, and it was hell seeing her. If she can't do that, arrange a time but have her bag all your gear up and leave it outside, its the lease she can do. TRY, and I mean REALLY TRY to remain emotionless if you do see her. Say something like, "you know what? I've given it a lot of thought and you were completely right about the break up, some really exciting things have been happening to me one after one, I respect your decision with the break up" This will show her that you can live without her, and more importantly, you keep your dignity and you can exit her life with your head held high. Even if it hurts like hell to do this, do it. Trust someone who has made all the mistakes you are about to...
Author sexibanez Posted April 11, 2009 Author Posted April 11, 2009 I CANNOT BELIEVE IT!!!! SHE WAS CHEATING ALL ALONG!!!!! I FOUND OUT SHE HAS BEEN CHEATING ON ME FOR AAAAAGES!!!! THANK GOD I DIDNT SEND THAT LETTER, THANK YOU GUYS!!! Before i felt that i was th eone who failed us completely, but at last i have SOME power back. I can finally see the end of the tunnel. XXX
EmperorR Posted April 11, 2009 Posted April 11, 2009 Yup your lucky you never sent it, i've een there and made the mistake of sending checking my email all the time and no reply, just let it go send it to yourself, at leasaat you appreciate your feelings.
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