Broke NC and Ex is in love with him already

[fofiffs]

Well I broke the NC rule yesterday. I know I know, I was stupid. Well anyways if you read my other thread you'll understand a little better of my situation. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t185423/ But anyways I was actually doing good. I did NC for about almost two weeks and then I had the urge to email her. So I send her an email asking her why she did all this and why she can't give me any type of closure but I never got a response from her at all. So anyways this morning I checked out her myspace profile and BAMM, a complete shocker. This new guy who she is apparently with for almost two weeks now is like the greatest man to her all of a sudden. On her profile she talks about how much he has changed her and that she's in it with him for the long run. Also this guy she is with is 32 and she is 20. But anyways the way she is being to him s like how she was with me from the beginning. I finally accepted the fact that she used me the whole time I was with her. It hurts to know but I guess that is reality for you.

 

A little more detail about this guy is that he is divorced and apparently has money from the look on his myspace profile. It just somewhat hurts to know that the things my ex use to feel for me about a month ago now feels it for this guy she has only been with for about two weeks. Also she goes something like "he means more to her than anyone she has loved before" she use to tell me all the time that she truely loves me and that there will never be anyone else. So I guess all those things she has said were all complete lies and bull.

 

Now I really don't feel hurt or bad because now I know the person she really is. She is the type of person that always needs somebody there for her. She can't stand alone on her own feet. She always needs attention from somebody else. I just can't believe that I let her use me and made me believe that she really did love me. I did so much for this girl and I still haven't got any type of appreciation or a thank you. But all in all, i'm actually not that hurt anymore. From the beginning I would have probably been devastated. But you know what it's her lost not mine. She's got no job, has a baby that I treated like my own. I basically took care of her and the baby and not once did she spend a penny on me except for a christmas card back in 2007. This is the last time I'll ever let anyone use me like this and toy with my emotions.

[EmperorR]

Rebound or not calm down number one, certain people when they come out of a ltr hop right back into a relationship and proclaim it as the best thing ever bla bla, why the excitement the honeymoon stage where everything is perfect.

 

After my ex fiancé of 3 years cheated n left me and less than two weeks started dating a guy she would tell me he's the best ever talking about marriage and kids how her life has changed etc.

 

I got that same crap again when I started dating my recent ex, your the best ever Im so happy I found you, I can't wait to start a family bla bla, I was just like yea yea I know how the game is played, once the honeymoon period wore off "were different, bla bla"

 

Stop worrying go back to nc don't break it this time, heal and get a women who wi appreciate you, trust me she"ok come crawling back one day but by then you will want nothing to do with her.

[fofiffs]

Rebound or not calm down number one, certain people when they come out of a ltr hop right back into a relationship and proclaim it as the best thing ever bla bla, why the excitement the honeymoon stage where everything is perfect.

 

After my ex fiancé of 3 years cheated n left me and less than two weeks started dating a guy she would tell me he's the best ever talking about marriage and kids how her life has changed etc.

 

I got that same crap again when I started dating my recent ex, your the best ever Im so happy I found you, I can't wait to start a family bla bla, I was just like yea yea I know how the game is played, once the honeymoon period wore off "were different, bla bla"

 

Stop worrying go back to nc don't break it this time, heal and get a women who wi appreciate you, trust me she"ok come crawling back one day but by then you will want nothing to do with her.

 

YEah i'm not really worried about it anymore. I'm still a little hurt but its just not worth it. I'm moving on. I know someone out there will love me for me. And your right if she ever does come crawling back i'm going to stand my ground and say no. I did so much for her and got no appreciation. I'm better off I know I'll find that right person someday.

[BackonTrack2]

Its never about the other guy. Its about the current guy.

 

Females are for lack a better term, parasites. They love anyone whom they are having sex with, anyone they allow to enter. They love them, their emmotions get all stired up and some get attached.

 

Some are needy and want to be around the man all the time. Some like to be dominated and told what to do and put in check. Some chicks are just plain crazy and believe the world revolves around them.

 

Other chicks are whores, they have a good man but they love new things and they love sex. Some chicks are decent, faithfull and loving, was raised with a good family and realize they are responsiable for their own actions.

 

Other chicks are fast, gimme, gimme, gimme, I want more! and the more you give them, the more they take until there is nothing left, then they leave and get a fresh victium.

 

Chicks or females or a nice addition to anyone but you cannot loose yourself in the process of becoming one. My current relationship, I like this girl, I know she has feelings towards me but she wants to be a couple. She wants to do things together, to get to know me, to have a life, and well, I'm not giving it to her. I'm not opening up.

 

I sense she is going to leave soon. Its cool. I don't love her, but she nice and helps me and keeps me company. She builds me, I like her. I am not happy within myself, she comes around because she doesn't have anyone else and I am a warm body, a safe place for her to rest at.

 

I don't know what I'm saying, relationship are strange, and takes works, it takes a long time to find a match. My last relationship, I was so happy, she made me feel at peace. This relationship, the women brings me down to reality, and motivates me. My last relationshp ended with me finding out my ex was cheating on me and I folded, I begged, and threw away my pride. I waited a whole year for her to come back but she never did so I moved on.

 

Now I'm rebuilding and starting life again, my current girl is helping me, she is nice, taking me on vacation and brings me food. She listen(s), and takes the time to get to know my friends and family. She spends time with me and keeps me company.

 

As about my last relationship and that female, she was strange. She ended up turning into a whore. Then again I always knew she was that type of girl. I thought she was special. She was ordinary, a regular female with low morals that came from a broken family. She always wanted to escape.

 

As for me I am no angel but I would of never did what she done to me so I guess thats why it wasnt meant to be. "Why are you so nice to me??" Because I love you silly.

 

In the end, that relationship costed me money and business. Its like I was excelling in life and when things happen, knocked me off my feet. It took me a year to recover.

 

I've just relaized, I am still living in the past, looking back but at the same time moving forward. Its been a year and I still tear.

 

I guess I need to focus more on myself and things that I have instead of what I don't. The next step is rebuilding business, as I am currently in a relationship. Thats going to be hard but as time goes on, I am getting back into the swing of things. Moving slowly at the moment, but it will pick up.

 

In the future, I wonder how I am going to react when I see my ex. I know myself, I'm going to say Hello and keep it moving. Sad, I would of never left her.

[Surfer Dude]

I know someone out there will love me for me. I'm better off I know I'll find that right person someday.

 

Your mentality is the problem here and that might lead to your demise once again. Hopefully you'll realize there's no such thing as "that right person". You could find something to love about almost anyone if you took time to know them better.

 

Your problem is that you invested all your self esteem and self worth into this relationship and made her responsible for it. Once everything fell apart, you were left shattered as you had nothing to lean on.

 

I can't stress how important it is to have yourself (a constant) as a center of your universe and only rely on yourself to be happy. People do all sorts of crazy sh*t like investing all their emotions and self esteem into their work, partners, activities etc.

 

You need to change that dependent mentality. Only you can make yourself happy, no amount of women, love, "soulmates", money or anything else can do that for you.

[fofiffs]

Your mentality is the problem here and that might lead to your demise once again. Hopefully you'll realize there's no such thing as "that right person". You could find something to love about almost anyone if you took time to know them better.

 

Your problem is that you invested all your self esteem and self worth into this relationship and made her responsible for it. Once everything fell apart, you were left shattered as you had nothing to lean on.

 

I can't stress how important it is to have yourself (a constant) as a center of your universe and only rely on yourself to be happy. People do all sorts of crazy sh*t like investing all their emotions and self esteem into their work, partners, activities etc.

 

You need to change that dependent mentality. Only you can make yourself happy, no amount of women, love, "soulmates", money or anything else can do that for you.

 

 

Yeah your right there is no right person out there. What I was trying to say is that I learned a big lesson in this past relationship I had with my ex. I did alot of soul searching on finding myself again and realizing where I went wrong. But from this experience I learned that even if that person didn't love you at all, you can't do anything to change thier mind to feel what you want them to feel. Also I know now that I shouldn't invest all my time, love, effort, money, etc on just one person but also to take time for myself. Also I was never dependant , I've always been an independent person. It's just sometimes when your in love you forget to think about yourself and invest all your time on the other. So to me this is a big lesson and the next time I am in a relationship I'll think back to this situation and analyze everything before going serious with that other person.

[EmperorR]

Listen to these guys, surfer back ontrack and myself we speak from experience, we've seen it all. Stop blaming yourself, it doesn't matter how good you treat a woman, you become stale like a loaf of bread and treated like dirt in the end.

 

 

I treated my ex fiance like a queen, I taught her how to speak english, i helped her get into university, she was struggling and I told her to quit and took on a second job, her grandpa was on his death bed, i came up with the plane ticket for her to see him, and you know what she goes and screws a guy she just met 3 friggin times. And then she comes back and says she wants to be alone bla bla a week later having feelings for some herb a week after that dating him, I know all to well it doesnt matter how good you treat a women. I take nothing for granted anymore, and don't get comfortable in any damn relationship, always got to keep your guard up.

 

Heck with this recent ex, she was abused by her previous bf, have had 5 bfs in her life and everyone of them cheated on her and made comments about her weight. Me I treat her good but still, I've been through to much in life to actually give a damn and ponder, life is to short, if someone doesn't want you trust me someone else will just don't make the same mistakes you did before.

[fofiffs]

Listen to these guys, surfer back ontrack and myself we speak from experience, we've seen it all. Stop blaming yourself, it doesn't matter how good you treat a woman, you become stale like a loaf of bread and treated like dirt in the end.

 

 

I treated my ex fiance like a queen, I taught her how to speak english, i helped her get into university, she was struggling and I told her to quit and took on a second job, her grandpa was on his death bed, i came up with the plane ticket for her to see him, and you know what she goes and screws a guy she just met 3 friggin times. And then she comes back and says she wants to be alone bla bla a week later having feelings for some herb a week after that dating him, I know all to well it doesnt matter how good you treat a women. I take nothing for granted anymore, and don't get comfortable in any damn relationship, always got to keep your guard up.

 

Heck with this recent ex, she was abused by her previous bf, have had 5 bfs in her life and everyone of them cheated on her and made comments about her weight. Me I treat her good but still, I've been through to much in life to actually give a damn and ponder, life is to short, if someone doesn't want you trust me someone else will just don't make the same mistakes you did before.

 

 

You guy have really been a big help and I've been listening to the advices from everyone. Especially about the NC rule. I might have broken it yesterday but this time imma stick to it. I was doing so good for two weeks. Now when I get the urge to do so I come on here. And your right Emp next time im going to be smarter and not make the same mistake. Its still a long road ahead but I know theres always an end to every road. Thanks for the encouragement