Author EmperorR Posted April 9, 2009 Author Posted April 9, 2009 How because it was bothering me, I wanted answers etc., I always told myself after my ex fiance cheated nad left me, and I played the nice old loser, "its ok i forgive you" that I would never get dumped again without getting my feelings out so I did. And I felt so much better almost instantly. I just sent a text can I ask you something? and she replied yeah sure. So I'm like why did you dump me the real reason don't sugarcoat it at all, heck ive been told by ex fiance who cheated every little detail, so i can literally take anything. And she told me that were just different, I like to stay home, relax live a mellow life, she likes to go out bla bla and wants someone like that. Back in the day I would be like I'll change whatever, I just said yeah I agree. And voila, Suddenly its like I was slapped and realized, I can do better, why waste my energy thoughts time on someone has issues over something so small. SO I feel relieved, I broke nc to get my closure and it worked. I also forced her to admit she doesnt love me which allows me to enter the anger stage and then its acceptance.
sultry33 Posted April 9, 2009 Posted April 9, 2009 hi emp, if itshelped you then thats good i agree in the shallow part.. opposites do attract and can work a good balance is all thats needed.. Wasnt you both friends before? glad you got closure;)
Author EmperorR Posted April 9, 2009 Author Posted April 9, 2009 hi emp, if itshelped you then thats good i agree in the shallow part.. opposites do attract and can work a good balance is all thats needed.. Wasnt you both friends before? glad you got closure;) Yep, shes actually the only reason I got over my ex fiance, listened to me talk for hours about what I was going through, I guess thats why I can't hate it. I hope to be friends with her again one day, but for now I'm working on my trust issues etc.
Aerorobyn Posted April 9, 2009 Posted April 9, 2009 And she told me that were just different, I like to stay home, relax live a mellow life, she likes to go out bla bla and wants someone like that. Back in the day I would be like I'll change whatever, I just said yeah I agree. And voila, Suddenly its like I was slapped and realized, I can do better, why waste my energy thoughts time on someone has issues over something so small. Haha. Sounds like my ex and I, in a way. I was always the "in a rush, gotta do things right now" and "wanting to get out and move around a lot" person (I'm not into the party scene, I juts like to be out and on the go a lot). He, however, liked to watch TV, play computer games, and relax. And when he did want to get out and go...it was to the art museums or for a walk around the block. Anyways, I'm glad it helped you out! Now that you've got what you wanted, stay in NC!!!
Commensensical Posted April 9, 2009 Posted April 9, 2009 Hi Emperor, Please help me... I'm a little confused at how this contact came about and to whom. I'm not attempting to call you out publicaly. That's not my intention. However, I noticed that under the title of another LS Poster - "No Contact and Levels" you wrote this to them: "I have no traces of my ex fiancée nine not even a picture, even my latest ex none all pixutres deleted and shredded, I can't even contact her if I want because I never memorized her number and deleted it the same day she dumped me" It is a day later and you now have the below statement regarding contacting someone today: Much better, i feel relieved I'm not sure who you contacted? Did you contact ex fiancée today for closure? Or was it the latest ex, who you had no way of contacting? Thanks.
Author EmperorR Posted April 9, 2009 Author Posted April 9, 2009 I'd also like to say don't break nc if you think t will make things better, I just did it to get my closure, I have a protective coating around my emotions from last time and I dated to soon anyways. I loved my ex fiancé more than anything, and I thought I could never feel that click and passion with another women but I did. I thought I had the woman I was going to marry heck next month would have been our marriage date if she had any morals, so my outlook on life is different, if it's not meant to be shrug, I've lived with heartbreak pain for so long I get emotionless sometimes.
Peter_pan Posted April 9, 2009 Posted April 9, 2009 ang on... did you contact your ex F or ex the recent one?
Author EmperorR Posted April 9, 2009 Author Posted April 9, 2009 The recent ex, I'll never contact my ex fiancé again, I can honestly say I feel nothing towards. I got my phone bill that's the only way I got her number, funny thing I always used to think of my ex fiancé when I was dating this recent ex comparing etc., but side yesterday I got my closure from this recent ex I'm like a leper touched by Jesus healed and cleanse. I always used to think maybe this was just a rebound showing me I could be with another woman again.
Surfer Dude Posted April 9, 2009 Posted April 9, 2009 Hey bro, it's been a while Pussy is just a pussy and it certainly can't fill that hole in your heart or magically make your life better. It goes far beyond that. Even if you banged 10 chicks right now, you'd only realize that there's no such thing as a "special connection" between two people, just a period of time when people enrich each others life. Everything in the world has expiration date. It's been a long time since both of us were left by our fiances. And I've spent a lot of that time in search of myself and contemplating life. The only thing I realized is that nothing is forever and there's no such thing as a failed relationship. Relationships "fall apart" but if they made you happy for their duration, they have fulfilled their purpose. Something can "fail" only if the real outcome is different from the expected outcome, and people make the mistake of making the goal of their relationships to "live happily till death do us part". It's just too silly. Remember that chicks come and go, but you remain a constant in your universe. It's best to live without prejudice and try to go with the flow. If you try to please society and their silly structures by making your partner a source of your self esteem and center of your universe, you're going to fail miserably. Your universe belongs to you, other people are just passing by... including women.
Author EmperorR Posted April 9, 2009 Author Posted April 9, 2009 Hey bro, it's been a while Pussy is just a pussy and it certainly can't fill that hole in your heart or magically make your life better. It goes far beyond that. Even if you banged 10 chicks right now, you'd only realize that there's no such thing as a "special connection" between two people, just a period of time when people enrich each others life. Everything in the world has expiration date. It's been a long time since both of us were left by our fiances. And I've spent a lot of that time in search of myself and contemplating life. The only thing I realized is that nothing is forever and there's no such thing as a failed relationship. Relationships "fall apart" but if they made you happy for their duration, they have fulfilled their purpose. Something can "fail" only if the real outcome is different from the expected outcome, and people make the mistake of making the goal of their relationships to "live happily till death do us part". It's just too silly. Remember that chicks come and go, but you remain a constant in your universe. It's best to live without prejudice and try to go with the flow. If you try to please society and their silly structures by making your partner a source of your self esteem and center of your universe, you're going to fail miserably. Your universe belongs to you, other people are just passing by... including women. \Agree 100%, plus what I went through made me so much smarter etc., this latest ex was feeding me the classic jargon, "i love you and care for you, i talk to my mom every day and ponder if I made the right decision, i just don't want to be in a relationship right now, just friendship and work on me. Your the best guy I've ever known and dated, but were different I like to party and drink and be around friends and family, you don't, but who knows what the future holds" I honestly felt like blurting out, oh really, i've known you for years and every bf you ever had cheated onyou, or the last one abused you and they all hated your family, and suddenly you think you can find someone like me but who likes to go clubbin n ge drunk, but im past that arguring stage:) Classic that's basically the same crap my ex fiance told me, how she wants to work on herself, how she wants to be single and see what its like, how im the best guy she ever had and the only one who treated her good, oh ya and how she loves me, and she strung me along for weeks till she found some herb atschool. Luckily im not dumb and gullible as I was in the past, I said ya i'll be friends, and calmly deleted her phone number and text messages and went on my merry way:)
Surfer Dude Posted April 9, 2009 Posted April 9, 2009 "i love you and care for you, i talk to my mom every day and ponder if I made the right decision, i just don't want to be in a relationship right now, just friendship and work on me. Your the best guy I've ever known and dated, but were different I like to party and drink and be around friends and family, you don't, but who knows what the future holds" The best response would be "Ok, that's cool with me." and be totally unfazed. ... and go spend time with other girls who respect you more. I honestly felt like blurting out, oh really, i've known you for years and every bf you ever had cheated onyou, or the last one abused you and they all hated your family, and suddenly you think you can find someone like me but who likes to go clubbin n ge drunk, but im past that arguring stage:)Exactly. Arguing is a waste of time and energy and it diminishes your power. Remember that all this verbiage of hers is just a bunch of backward rationalizations and verbalization of things she doesn't even understand. Classic that's basically the same crap my ex fiance told me, how she wants to work on herself, how she wants to be single and see what its like, how im the best guy she ever had and the only one who treated her good, oh ya and how she loves me, and she strung me along for weeks till she found some herb atschool.The key to this is to spend time with others. That way you never get desperate or attached to a specific one. The funny thing is, women are competitive creatures and once she notices you're unfazed and seeing other women, she'll try to get you once again. My friend couldn't get rid of all the hos once they found out about each other! haha Luckily im not dumb and gullible as I was in the past, I said ya i'll be friends, and calmly deleted her phone number and text messages and went on my merry way:) Exactly. Who gives a f*ck There are 3 billion women in the world besides her.
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