Cora Posted April 8, 2009 Posted April 8, 2009 Hey guys, I did something today that I shouldn't have. I feel like what I did has set me back a bit on my healing. I had the urge to check Diana's Myspace and boy was I surprised to see she had a comment from Eric and his new page he created just days earlier. He just wrote how beautiful she is to him and how much he loves her. He also wrote you are my one and only with the words one and only in all caps as if he was trying to convince her or something. Anyway it looks as if she forgave him because she wrote him back saying she loved him too etc. etc. So yeah they are still engaged. Even after she asked me for proof that he talked to me for eight months she still forgave him. The IM convos I showed her even had him saying things about her and how unhappy he was and what a horrible person she is and how he doesn't love her etc. Maybe she is just a very forgiving person or maybe he sweet talked her sooo good. Who knows? To me that can't be forgiven and I just wanted to help her out by showing her the proof she asked for to try and prevent her from making a possible mistake. Today I finally realized how big of a liar he really is. I mean I can't even comprehend all of the lies. He lied his way out of lies and lied on top of so many lies. I never knew this man! I now fully understand that I never meant a thing to him. It was all some big sick joke to him. That is all I can come up with. I mean I'm to the point now where I'm not asking myself what was a lie....I'm asking what was the truth if there was any? I honestly don't think anything was. He lied to me for eight months about loving me and wanting to be with me. I was one big f****** joke to him!! You know I was so upset about not getting any closure from him. All I wanted was to talk to him one last time and hear it from him. But I now realize that his silence is my closure because if I did get the chance to talk to him one more time he would just make up another lie. He is a pathological liar. I mean I'm just now realizing how bad this really was!!! I can't even understand it all. Everything is a blur and I can't even wrap my head around it. I am so messed up!! I can't believe how convincing he was too!! He used to tell me that him and Diana were having problems and that he wasn't happy. He told me on a few occasions that she wasn't speaking to him again. Diana told me they never had a single problem! So the whole damn thing was a lie just to make me feel sorry for him. I'm beginning to realize just how big of a joke I really was to him. All this time I thought he came crawling back to me only when they were having problems but I now know it was all just to make me feel sorry for him. I was always so careful but I still got fooled! Knowing what I know now....that this whole thing was a joke hurts so much more!! I feel like sending him a message on his new Myspace page saying congratulations on your engagement when were you planning on telling me? I won't do that of course. It was just one of the many thoughts that run through my head. Ughh okay I think I have gotten all of my frustrations out now! Sorry for another long post but I needed to get that out. I'm okay and I'm still working towards moving on with my life....it just hit me kind of hard today.
LonelyTiger Posted April 8, 2009 Posted April 8, 2009 Checking out Diana's MySpace wasn't the best idea Cora and it may have hit you hard, but it may also have moved you on a step in your healing. Today you 'finally realized how big of a liar he really is'. This guy is not worth one second of your time - the more bad stuff you know about him, the more you will realise this and the easier it will be for you to let this whole thing go. You're doing fine Cora. These things take time. Get out there and have some fun. Give yourself the chance to meet genuine people who deserve your love and friendship.
Els Posted April 9, 2009 Posted April 9, 2009 I think that even though people say it's best to forget and move on, what you did could possibly HELP you to move on, depending on how you see it. Now you realize how everything was a lie. Yes it'll hurt for some time, but I personally think it might speed up the process since you'll realize more and more that you're hurting over someone who doesn't deserve it, and that he isn't worth your tears. Don't worry about Diana. You did what you could, she's an adult, she's choosing to ignore the blatant truth put in front of her eyes. She's only making her own bed.
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