MeaganRaye Posted April 8, 2009 Posted April 8, 2009 What does this mean when a guy does not want to talk about a)his kids b)the details of why his past relationships failed c)the details of why he has a criminal background I know a guy who went to jail for 3 years but when I asked him exactly why he went to jail for that long he danced around giving me a straight answer. I wonder what could it have been..rape..murder?? He also asked me, "what can I do to get you to trust me enough to be alone with me?" I thought that was a very weird question.
bean1 Posted April 8, 2009 Posted April 8, 2009 If it was 3 years, it was no bench warrant for unpaid parking tickets.
danb Posted April 8, 2009 Posted April 8, 2009 How well do you know eachother? How did the jail time thing come up? Really, even if he was falsely convicted and was actually completely innocent, I would be worried about what 3 years in prison did to him, especially if i was a girl. And 3 years isn't a minor offense. Chances if he spent 3, he probably got sentenced to around 5-8 years and got out early.
Author MeaganRaye Posted April 8, 2009 Author Posted April 8, 2009 How well do you know eachother? How did the jail time thing come up? Really, even if he was falsely convicted and was actually completely innocent, I would be worried about what 3 years in prison did to him, especially if i was a girl. And 3 years isn't a minor offense. Chances if he spent 3, he probably got sentenced to around 5-8 years and got out early. I know him through a friend. I don't know how jail came up, we were just talking and he mentioned it. I asked him what he did and he just danced around what it was. He went to jail another time but he said it wasn't his fault
paddington bear Posted April 8, 2009 Posted April 8, 2009 Run away! Ok, so maybe he's embarrassed about the criminal thing, but not so embarrassed that you know about it in the first place? Weird for him to bring it up and then not tell you about it. Re: the ex's and why they split...well, I would run a mile from most members of the opposite sex who start talking about their ex's too soon, means they're still hooked on them, or not over the hurt of the breakup. Re: the kids, maybe this guy simply feels that he doens't know you well enough to talk to you about his kids, or for you to meet them, in fact that could be the whole reason for all of the above, he just needs more time, and if you're pushing for more information when he doesn't feel safe enough to tell, he's just going to clam up.
HappyAgain Posted April 8, 2009 Posted April 8, 2009 Well, how would you go about telling someone new that your marriage ended because you're a serial cheater. I've always wondered that about my ex. Or that you're a pathological liar, a thief, that you use people to gain your ends. I feel bad for the person dating my ex because I highly doubt they know all this about him.
phineas Posted April 8, 2009 Posted April 8, 2009 If you need to know & he wasn't a minor when he was sentenced it is a matter of public record. Most court houses have this info available or you can use a site like this: http://www.journalismnet.com/people/uscrime.htm#tools to try & do some free research
danb Posted April 8, 2009 Posted April 8, 2009 Good point, you could probably find out on your own. But honestly I agree with paddington, run away. Someone not wanting to talk about their past relationships or their kids early in a relationship is meaningless, probably a good sign. But jailtime is something different. If he never brought it up and you found out I would understand why he kept it a secret, for a while anyways. But he let it slip and wont tell you why, really bad sign. And i guess its not the first time he was in jail, "I didnt do it" is probably the most said phrase in prison. Even if you like this guy, its probably best to assume the worst until he tells you different.
SoulSearch_CO Posted April 9, 2009 Posted April 9, 2009 I'd be doing research to find out if he's a registered sex offender.
Kaii Posted April 9, 2009 Posted April 9, 2009 Well, it could be a number of things, but for three years in prison, it was probably a felony. So for that amount of time, it could be for things like Negligent Homicide, Theft, Battery Causing Great Bodily Harm, Stalking, Negligent Vehicular Homicide, etc... I personally would run the other way. He sounds like a creep. I mean WTF is that comment about "what do I have to do to get you alone with me"????? Creep city. I remember this one guy I had as a patient in the hospital. He was a prisoner. He continually protested his innocence and several nurses got sucked in and felt it was so "unjust" that such a "kind and innocent man" would be treated in such a way.......that was until we googled his name and found out that he had taken a rifle and shot and killed his wife on Christmas Eve. An upstanding fellow. So, FYI, most criminals lie about the nature or severity of their crime. A lot of time they swear they were wrongly convicted. They are generally good liars, don't fall for their "I'm just misunderstood" crappola.
Art_Critic Posted April 9, 2009 Posted April 9, 2009 I wouldn't even care to know what he did, I would run.. I once went on a date with a girl who after dinner told me she spent 9 years in the pen for armed robbery, then she told me that until a few months before she was a stripper.. I never spoke to her after saying goodbye at dinner.. Finding out what he did would certainly put it into perspective and it might not be as bad as all that but............... The secrecy is where there are the biggest problems.. you never will be able to trust him to to be square with you...
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