northstar1 Posted April 8, 2009 Posted April 8, 2009 Sigh, who else does this horrible thing. This is from the last girl you just dated right? During the first few months, I'd check my email quite frequently (esp. when I'd get a 'new message' indicator), thinking that my ex would write. After a few months and little if no contact, I began to just get used to it and stopped checking
Melrapuo Posted April 8, 2009 Posted April 8, 2009 The moment I stopped doing it so much, my ex texted me. I swear, its creepy.
Author EmperorR Posted April 8, 2009 Author Posted April 8, 2009 This is from the last girl you just dated right? During the first few months, I'd check my email quite frequently (esp. when I'd get a 'new message' indicator), thinking that my ex would write. After a few months and little if no contact, I began to just get used to it and stopped checking Yep, argh why is it so hard, it was easier with my ex fiancé because she cheated I knew in the back of my head it was over but still "fought for it", I so just want to call or text and tell her I do care, an would be willing to move closer, and at least If I get burnt at least I know I went out blazing. Sigh, slaps myself and continues day 9 of no contact
Excellent Posted April 8, 2009 Posted April 8, 2009 Hang in there buddy! It's hard, but it pays off in the end.
BCCA Posted April 8, 2009 Posted April 8, 2009 Well, I've greatly cut down on the amount of times I check them, but six months after the break, I still do keep tabs on my phone. Not really just because I'm seeing if she'll call/text, but I would be a liar if I said those things never crossed my mind. Someone told me this the other day, but you never really move on until you meet someone else. Meeting people is the hardest part, though. Hang in there. It does get easier, and it doesn't feel as bad when they don't contact you. One day when youre with someone else, you wont even care...and thats when you get the calls haha
Author EmperorR Posted April 8, 2009 Author Posted April 8, 2009 I broke NC, I know im a idiot, i just had to get my "closure", I really moved on from my ex fiance when she told me she felt nothing for me anymore, and that got me into the anger so i asked this girl if she feels anything for me. got the "your a amazing person, so special crap:" I'm getting my damn closure today dammit
Author EmperorR Posted April 8, 2009 Author Posted April 8, 2009 Well, I've greatly cut down on the amount of times I check them, but six months after the break, I still do keep tabs on my phone. Not really just because I'm seeing if she'll call/text, but I would be a liar if I said those things never crossed my mind. Someone told me this the other day, but you never really move on until you meet someone else. Meeting people is the hardest part, though. Hang in there. It does get easier, and it doesn't feel as bad when they don't contact you. One day when youre with someone else, you wont even care...and thats when you get the calls haha Agree 100%, I never got over my ex fiance till I met this girl.
DarkestDreams Posted April 9, 2009 Posted April 9, 2009 I used to check my mail and my phone every 5 minutes. I felt there were some things left unsaid in our last conversation and we were supposed to get together another time. He said he'd call me. He never did. Shocking, I know As time went by, I slowly stopped the compulsion to check everything and gave up hope that he'll contact me by some miracle. I deleted his number from my phone a long time ago (too tempting) and now I screen my calls and never answer numbers that aren't in my contact list. I don't care if he did try to contact me or not, I don't want to speak to him ever again - there's nothing left to be said between us. I guess I finally reached the acceptance stage.
DarkestDreams Posted April 9, 2009 Posted April 9, 2009 I'm getting my damn closure today dammit She's not gonna give you the closure you want. Instead she's gonna feed you the "you're the best ever" bullsh*t until you're blue in the face. She dumped you. That's the meanest thing she "said" to you, without using any words. I really like your posts, they're very helpful and insightful. Now stop doing this to yourself and practice what you preach. Hang in there, this too shall pass!
sultry33 Posted April 9, 2009 Posted April 9, 2009 Agree 100%, I never got over my ex fiance till I met this girl. sometimes it takes more than one;) hey emp, you be ok.. sure i did the phone thing.. now if he text i ignore/delete x
Author EmperorR Posted April 9, 2009 Author Posted April 9, 2009 She's not gonna give you the closure you want. Instead she's gonna feed you the "you're the best ever" bullsh*t until you're blue in the face. She dumped you. That's the meanest thing she "said" to you, without using any words. I really like your posts, they're very helpful and insightful. Now stop doing this to yourself and practice what you preach. Hang in there, this too shall pass! , well i did contact, her, I did get the your the best ever crap etc., but I got my closure, I know its done over final, this stupid thread of hope is finally dead. And I feel relieved, i'm weird like that, I need to get past all the sugar coating, "its you not me", "your the greatest ever" and let her tell me she doesn't love me, she never wants to talk to me again etc., so I can enter the anger stage and then acceptance:) Now i'm back to NC and healing myself without the itch to contact.
wheresmysunshine Posted April 9, 2009 Posted April 9, 2009 I'm on day 8 of NC and he's tried emailing me twice today but not begging me back which is what I was hoping. I'm still hanging in there with NC to piss him off. He even wrote me the second time saying.. are you alive? lol He can easily check if I'm alive by looking at the cellphone records so I'm not gonna respond. But yes I check my email and cellphone religiously in hopes to get something. It's like a high!
Aerorobyn Posted April 9, 2009 Posted April 9, 2009 Not me. Not anymore. I used to (during the first couple of weeks of the breakup and while we were still dating) sleep with my phone right next to me...because he would send me cute little surprise text messages at night, and call me first thing he woke up in the mornings. I don't do that anymore though. I don't keep the phone right next to me at night...it just sits on the table, because I have to use it as an alarm. I don't check my phone like I did during the first couple of weeks...because I know I wont hear from him. I don't expect him to contact me anytime soon...maybe a year from now when he feels that we're over each other.
Lizzie60 Posted April 9, 2009 Posted April 9, 2009 Sigh, who else does this horrible thing. Immature... very insecure people..
Commensensical Posted April 9, 2009 Posted April 9, 2009 For all us that have those silly phones with more features than what we know to do with.... here are few simple suggestions. 1) For those of you who haven't reached the stage of deleting the ex's number - try programing the number with a non-default ring of NOTHING. Most phones have this option now a days. This way if the ex's do get into contact, you won't know unless you haved checked your call log! Plus, if your phone rings you won't skip a heartbeat because it can't possibly be them. This little tool helps in ceasing the activity of looking at your phone every few minutes. Give it a bit and you will stop looking. It's like a mind trick. Oh and don't worry - this little tool doesn't disrupt the alarm. Your default tone is your alarm tone, the only thing changed is that you can't hear the ex ring. 2) If you are a 'drunk dialer' then remove the last digit of the ex's number from your contact list. Go ahead, do it now when Sober. This way when you go to dial - you can't connect because the phone number is invalid. Hopefully you will be too tipsy to try to reprogram your phone with the last digit at this stage. Remember - the more drinks, the more risk of deleting the number all together (Keep this in mind since it is good at detering the thought of reprograming). Hope this provides another solution. Commensensical.
gwynieatpain Posted April 10, 2009 Posted April 10, 2009 Sorry. I was one of them few months back. Guess everyone has his/her own weak time.
DJMarky Posted April 10, 2009 Posted April 10, 2009 I got in a bit of luck actually. My ex's phone broke, she got a new phone, called me from it, I answered cause I didn't know the number told her not to contact me, deleted call log and now don't know the new number. Deleting the old number didn't help at the beginning because I knew it off by heart, now I am much stronger AND to boot I don't even know her number.
twicebitten Posted April 12, 2009 Posted April 12, 2009 ... I definately WAS one of those chronic-checkers!!! BUT I do not/can NOT expect ANY contact ever due to my ex's INSANE slanderous emails sent to my agent, ex husband, etc., I had to file POLICE REPORTS & THEY told him not to contact me, etc., or they'd ARREST him!!! As horrible as this has been on me it has finally squelched my desire to break NC unless "I" want to look certifiably isane & risk my future career ... Soooo, no more checking ... no more contact ... n closure what-so-ever!! So sad it had to come to this to end our unhealthy addictions to each other!!! Geez!! LOL!! XO - TB -
openbook08 Posted April 14, 2009 Posted April 14, 2009 yup my heart would skip a beat everytime my fone made a sound.... circumstances then prompted me to change MY number so that put a stop to that.actually that was a great healing move! still know his no. off by heart....i guess after 5years itll take a while....esp as my sister has exact same no except for last digit
Peter_pan Posted April 14, 2009 Posted April 14, 2009 yup my heart would skip a beat everytime my fone made a sound.... circumstances then prompted me to change MY number so that put a stop to that.actually that was a great healing move! still know his no. off by heart....i guess after 5years itll take a while....esp as my sister has exact same no except for last digit same, except me and my ex had same number part from the last digit
CM2009 Posted April 14, 2009 Posted April 14, 2009 I'm going through that right now with my wife, we're seperated right now and im always looking at my phone. This sucks!!!
WhyYesThankYou Posted April 14, 2009 Posted April 14, 2009 I wonder what would happen if we all met up in a bar or something and shut off our phones/Blackberries/netbooks and put them in a pile and made a pact not to check them for several hours. Would we feel joyfully liberated and be able to chat with each other and have a good time, or would we be twitching, casting glances at the pile of communication devices, and strategizing about how we could distract the others so we could grab our cells and dash off to the restroom for a quick fix?
9Lives Posted April 14, 2009 Posted April 14, 2009 I just woke up one day and said to myself stop calling stop hoping stop wishing stop thinking stop caring stop wondering stop stop stop JUST STOP!!! I love this guy and he dont love me back and and I sick and tired of feeling bad because if it. I actually told him that I hate I love him and I am tired of lovng someone who does not give a f/ck about me. I am tired of being unhappy about it So with all that drama....I know he aint going to call anymore. So I am free to move on.
Peter_pan Posted April 14, 2009 Posted April 14, 2009 I wonder what would happen if we all met up in a bar or something and shut off our phones/Blackberries/netbooks and put them in a pile and made a pact not to check them for several hours. Would we feel joyfully liberated and be able to chat with each other and have a good time, or would we be twitching, casting glances at the pile of communication devices, and strategizing about how we could distract the others so we could grab our cells and dash off to the restroom for a quick fix? lol glad i am over this hoping stage. it was a night mare. i could happily go without my phone for a day or more. i need it for my friends though
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