mom with serious issues,

[ATJNL]

Hi I have been in a relationship with my finance for 9 years. We have 3 children together, and we both have one of our own. His he has no contact because of other mother. So our relationship was great till our 2nd year..we moved to CT and he stopped talking to me unless it was something we had too. This is when all the lying started..it was only about other woman..I would ask really you dont talk to women?...I thought it was crazy he said no!..lol...well here we are 9 years later and I kept pressing the issue cuz I really knew better, and finally he burst!!..By this I mean I know a woman he works with and I went to high school with her and never liked her..well he finally admitted to talking with her...not only this though...he already knows what I feel about her...and he has been been taking breaks with her or her with him..yes there are others too...still lying to me ...tells me he did it because he was filling his needs....I told him isnt that what we were doing when we first got together? yes..of course are we not all out to fill our needs? Just to me I see now he only wanted me home to watch the kids and for me to want him...but he always told me how crazy I was..cuz he ddidnt talk to women, and that there must be something wrong with me..I must have a problem with his work..etc...hed end conversations.....obvisiously I knew better or I would not have kept pressing the issue....So now I say could he have ever really loved me?...when he already has established he knew what he was doing was not right...I gave him my full and complete attention anything, everything. Then he'll say there was no attraction..but how could that be..he never told me...seems like no attraction why lie?...the next minute after I explain there has to be for it to go on..then he says yes your right...what the hell...he still doesnt know lie from truth i feel...I asked him then if you really wanna make it work with me..get a recorder so I can hear you tell her when she comes around...he started crying so I say it seems he still is disregarding my feelings....Now he says he still loves me...what makes it worse is I have not worked in 4 years so here I am please help!!!!! Oh know he says that he never wanted anything from other woman...LMFAO