someone2 Posted April 8, 2009 Posted April 8, 2009 I met her 2 years ago... very quickly i lost the ability to sleep at night. I couldn't stop thinking about her. I asked her out, and turned out she had a bf. There hasn't passed a single day in the past 2 years that i didn't think about her. (she moved to a diff state shortly after i met her) fast forward to now. She suddenly added me to her facebook friends. I had butterflies just seeing her pic in the friend request list. I sent her a message telling her how delighted i was to see her again and asked how she has been. She responded with a fairly short paragraph explaining her current work, and finished by saying "hope all is well". That's all. No questions about what i have been up to or any ways to open conversations. I don't want to be reading too much into it, and i know i am very biased because of my feelings, but what would you do if you were in my shoes? I definitely want to let her know how much i care for her, but i don't know how to say it in a way that doesn't scare her away (imagine adding someone you knew 2 yrs ago on facebook and they suddenly pour their hearts out to you in a message!) Any suggestions?
samspade Posted April 8, 2009 Posted April 8, 2009 Yeah, don't pour your heart out. That generally doesn't work - especially if you barely know her. Can you tell by FB if she is still with a boyfriend? Try to meet up with her in a social setting and chat her up. But take it slow and meet some other women. Don't put all your eggs into one basket, especially if she already turned you down. Adding someone as a FB friend doesn't mean very much at all...some people are just friend collectors. Since this woman lives in another state, I'd focus on women within my area code if I were you.
IcemanJB Posted April 8, 2009 Posted April 8, 2009 I agree with the above post. I completely understand what you're talking about. There is a certain girl that I've known for about a year and a half, that I have not gone a single day without thinking about her. We dated for awhile last year (long story), but even the months before that she was constantly on my mind. Still is to this day, even after I've gone on dates with other girls. I will say I believe I've done everything in my power to improve my chances with her; I'm starting to finally see that there isn't much more I can do - it's all on her. It's obvious we have feelings for each other. Anyways, things I've done: 1. NOT be overbearing or poor my feelings out. 2. Not be the one to always initiate 3. Make my interest in her known, without saying the words. 4. Avoid the friend zone at all costs. This I have down to a science. 5. Be spontaneous about meeting up. Not too often though. Honestly if she knows you like her, there isn't much more you can really do - it's pretty much up to her. I've decided that I'm not waiting around for her, but if it happens with her, awesome. I'd suggest taking the same mindset. The fact that you're in different states isn't a good thing either.
Treasa Posted April 8, 2009 Posted April 8, 2009 Casually ask her how Fred (or whatever his name is) is doing. If she's no longer with him, move slowly and get to know her as friends again. If she's still with him, definitely move on.
Author someone2 Posted April 8, 2009 Author Posted April 8, 2009 Yes. she is definitely single now. I am getting recommendations from friends of just telling her now so i could move on with my life anyway. Does this make any sense?
Treasa Posted April 8, 2009 Posted April 8, 2009 Sure, as long as you aren't super aggressive about it. Maybe just call her up and ask if she'd like to go get a bite to eat or see a movie.
2sure Posted April 8, 2009 Posted April 8, 2009 I met her 2 years ago... very quickly i lost the ability to sleep at night. I couldn't stop thinking about her. I asked her out, and turned out she had a bf. There hasn't passed a single day in the past 2 years that i didn't think about her. FYI: This would scare the sh*t out of me. If I was far enough away that it didnt scare me, I would still think it WAY too strange. If I got past the strange, I would be flattered for a minute. But then like most women I would question: Why would he like me THAT much? Even I dont like me that much. Let her know you were interested when you first met her and that you have not forgotten her and would still be interested in taking her to dinner. THATS IT.
Recommended Posts